Houdini Splicer

Depends on my mood.

The Thing.

They were a trip.

That's good. You would want to spend as little time around them as possible. They have no problem shooting at each other; they certainly wouldn't think twice about sending lead flying your way. Hell, I avoid them like the plague. Fuck those bastards.

Yeah, they're real assholes. Sorry about that.

*pisses on your leg just because*

*farts*

Hmm... *wiggles butt* Yep.

You talk to your hand often, do ya?

Yeah, do it. She'll love that.

My therapist says it counts, so there you go.

Uh-huh. Yeah, there is no chick. Just your hand. You'll never be an alpha.

You won't go through with it... wuss.

I'll be back. I'm just going to get some clothespins. For everyone's noses. Maybe I should have clarified that sooner.

So, this is still only the beginning. You have my sympathies.

It's just a matter of time. How long has the funkiness been going on? Weeks? Months?

Have any of the customers complained yet?

My dad worked with a guy like that, years ago. They're both mechanics, so they're both going to get hot and sweaty. This guy stunk, he knew he stunk, but he didn't care. My dad would tell him he stunk, but he would just smile, showing his funk-covered teeth. When Christmas came around, my dad both the guy some soap, wash cloths, toothbrush, and toothpaste, and told him not to come in the next day if he didn't use it. He actually washed his stank ass, but, it didn't last long. He finally went to work somewhere else, but summers were really tough around there. I'd advise getting your boss to tell her, in a nice way, that she stinks. If that doesn't work, the coworkers need to say something. You can only put up with crap for so long.