Houdini Splicer

Maybe instead of all these desk/clerical jobs, I should be an erections officer. There ya go, chief. You go in there with that big, bad Zeni shit, you'll end up the maiden of cell block D.

Yep, you're never gonna score.

What!? Dude, you'd better take what you can get! I can't... I don't even...

Alright, man. I guess you're just scared of the thought of hot babes trying to give you some.

Don't forget to step to the judge and flex your muscles if he/she says something you don't agree with. Show 'em what's up, and who's really in charge. That will impress the hell out of everybody, and hot chicks will throw themselves at you.

I just told them, "Ha-ha! NEVER!", then rode away on my stick horse.

Listen to the voices... all of them. Yes, even the one that tells you to drill a hole in your head, to let the evil spirits escape. Especially that one.

He'd probably see you as a kindred spirit. A loser that, as a child, caught hell from everyone for his looks and the way he acts. He'd walk up to you, put his hand on your shoulder, and say, "I feel your pain, brother." Then you'd both have a good cry. Nah, he'd split you from asshole to appetite, and go on his merry way.

I call bullshit. Everyone knows what you're thinking about. The glory hole at your local Mickie D's bathroom.

You've gotta be on at least, what, 12 different watchlists by now, right?

He can't afford a girl/ boyfriend, either. He could always grab a marker and draw some lips on his fist. That way, he could make out with it before the deed, or after, if that's what he wants.

I think a Fleshlight is the closest he'll ever get.

True, true. But at least she has won, once upon a time. Punk hasn't, and neither has/ will Zeni. Unless you count his meat. He beats that every night.

Captain Insano shows no mercy.

A masturbating Gollum.

Well, you couldn't be any worse than CM Punk. So, there's that.

Fixed it for you.

Yeah, I haven't come across that one yet, but it's bound to be there somewhere.

Never gonna get it a-woah-woah-woah!

Yeah, I do, too. I've been watching a lot of the old sketches on YouTube lately.

Blind Man and Faulty Voice Box Boy. -_'

I think EnVogue said it best... You're never gonna score, Zeni.

Brush yo' teeth, muthafucka! Wha'choo been eating, dead dog ass?