[classic swim]

If I was Popeye, I’d want you to be like Bluto and punch me so hard in the face that I go flying across the apartment wall. I’d want you to do big belly laughs and say funny quips while you’re ragdollin’ me. (Why, I just might give you a fat lip!) You can bury my face in your bosom and I’ll do those weird fuckin Popeye noises like when he’s rowing a boat or building a cabinet or something.

Well, you’re not eating raw cookie dough. Yet.

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Better go on social media and read all those comments!

You need to find a financial advisor first, guys!

Mafia: City of Lost Heaven - PS2

I don’t do campaign or side missions. I just roam around and get annoyed by pedestrians.

Spear Homer’s death was as grizzly as an actual Primal death.

So that’s what they’re doing. Rules out a Checkered prank, but alright.

He was an asshole.

@OwlChemist81 I apologize for my heinous error in judgment and questioning. You don’t, in fact, tickle Toonamiguy’s flaccid shaft and testes while he sleeps.

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Fuck that nevermind can’t just have Frank we need Dino.

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*gurgle gurgle gurgle suck suck*

I gave you fair and excruciatingly genuine words on why people think the way they do about you... and you’re still here. Hook, line and sinker. You can never, upon any circumstance say you have one over on anyone else... ever... after today. It’s no longer that you could’ve stopped hours ago. You let this spiral since Wednesday morning before 10AM. That’s how sad you are. And you think I’m lame??? Jeepers! Is it because I didn’t neglect my fucking choo-choo train at eight years old, Holden Caulfield? You’re a fucking clown.

Hrurhuhuhuhuhuhu onomatopoeia I’m the voice of reason on these online web forums and everybody’s callous and cavalier but me

Icarus? Pal? Chum? All it takes... is one prestigious fucking effort from you to go “hey! I mean, maybe things are a little different from outside my front window!” There has not been one single time in the whole span of nearly 90 fucking posts in this thread where you had this moment to think that for yourself. There’s not one iota of self-awareness within your stubborn fucking head, and it’s killed everyone around and possibly everyone that’s genuinely close to you. That’s what you’re not getting. You’re not gonna get anywhere in life by still being the boy in 4th grade who insists he hasn’t farted in class.

Jesus fucking Christ. Even when you attempt calling it quits you still think everyone’s out to get you.

It’s everyone else’s fault but your own. You wanna act all profound and diplomatic but you’d rather be gassed than take up any responsibility for the smallest inconvenience to your character.