Real_AirCooledGirl

A new development: Charlotte and I have hung out again recently. It was after a post-meeting dinner nearly two weeks ago. She joined us after that trans group meeting. She's healed from her vocal surgery and sounds like herself. We were at this gay restaurant and bar for dinner. It was dance floor night so I was out on the dance floor with some other people. Tried to get Charlotte out dancing with us, but she sat and talked to some of our friend group. Afterwards, she and I hung out in her car and talked about stuff. I didn't get home until around 1:30 and went to bed at 2:30 in the morning that night. But I did take a step toward shooting my shot with Charlotte. I told her that I would date her in a heartbeat. She laughed, then I said: "No, seriously, I would date you. In a yoctosecond." Charlotte said she was crazy; I told her I don't mind a crazy girl like her. We've seen each other a few more times since then. Most recent was last Friday; we went to that same bar for a drag show. Being a drag show, it was too loud for us to hear each other talking. So after the show, I then asked if she was doing anything this coming Saturday because I'm off from work that day. She's free that day. So we may end up hanging out again. I could ramp things up another notch or two and see where it goes from there.

Believe you me, Charlotte has made me forget all about my hormone doctor. It's not like I see the good doctor often enough to establish that kind of connection with her. Charlotte is another story. And we both at least have the shared experiences and common interests going for us. We have a meeting coming up next week; hopefully she'll be there. Think I'll get to know Charlotte some more and see where things go from there. When we shared war stories about our respective transition experiences, there were some laughs shared between us. There was some shocking stuff, at least to her. I never had to deal with chasers so far and she was surprised by that when I told her. Charlotte, on the other hand, has had to put up with chasers. She tells me I eventually will have to do the same. I love Charlotte to death, knowing how much we have in common and our instant rapport. I'd like to believe that she and I would have kicked some ass if we met in high school, even though we'd have to be a little closer in age for that to be possible. And maybe in some parallel universe, that's the case. Perhaps we'd have both transitioned earlier in life, at or around the same time as each other (i.e., one of us could have given the other the courage to come out and live authentically). If all that had been the case, I think maybe she and I would have even dated each other.

1. So far, just hanging out. But I'd like for Charlotte and I to start dating at some point. She doesn't seem to be seeing anyone at the moment. 2. I've always thought of things strategically. But you're right about being myself. This is the first time I've actually been able to be myself. No longer do I have to be Bruce Wayne by day and Batgirl by night. 3. I was never a single parent myself but I do have a half-sister who's fifteen years younger than me. In the case of Charlotte's kids, they're pretty independent and they're both good kids. If things progress far enough with her, I'm sure I could handle being a cool stepmom. 4. There is no four. 5. With Charlotte, there's a rapport with her that I've never gotten from most other girls I've dated. Our lives have been quite different but there's also a lot of similarities. She transitioned five years ago; I'll crack the two-year mark this August. We both knew we were misidentified girls at the same point in our lives (around 6-7 years old). We're both gamer girls. We both love to cook. We both have pretty worldly tastes in food as opposed to, say, boring old mashed potatoes. As for video games, she was shocked to learn I never had an NES growing up. I was a Sega kid first and foremost and didn't own any Nintendo hardware until the launch of the N64. There's some other stuff but I don't have time to get into it right now because I have to go to work. I'll elaborate later on at my earliest convenience.

I've met an amazing woman who has made me forget all about my hormone doctor. "Charlotte" and I met at a Trans Day of Remembrance vigil last November. We've also attended other meetings with our local network of trans support groups together since then. She and I have also hung out as well. This one night that we were out together, I'll never forget it. Charlotte and I talked about our common interests and experiences and really clicked. Right now, we're friends. But I plan to shoot my shot with her at some point. We get along great and like at least some of the same stuff. She's a single mom with two sons, and those sons both like me. I met "Dilbert" and "Wenceslas" when I met her. And knowing that Charlotte is bi, I have at least some chance with her. One thing nags at me, though. Charlotte had a wife who passed away ten years ago from, IIRC, ovarian cancer. That on its own is no skin off my back at all. Bear in mind that I've never dated a widow before, nor a single mom, nor a widowed single mom. It's just new territory to me. But here's the part that nags at me: She has a tattoo commemorating that wife with the phrase "Forever My Lady" at the bottom of it. While understandable, it begs the question: How am I supposed to compete with the memory of a deceased spouse? I really like Charlotte; I just don't want to feel like I have to compete with those memories. Yes, I get that widowed people get themselves back out there, date, and remarry all the time. I just don't know how to navigate this. There have been nights where I've cried thinking about how much I want to be with Charlotte and not knowing if I'd have to compete with those memories. At the same time, I don't want to spend my whole life wondering what could have been, and I've always been shy about asking girls out. I've often felt I'd rather be the one getting asked out. Considering this is a potential sapphic relationship we're talking about, this means different dynamics than a cis-het relationship. Different courtship rituals, different communication styles, different communication styles. And in this case, we're both femme girls. I've always gone for other femme girls. Not to say I wouldn't give a tomboy or cute butch the time of day, but I've always been attracted to femininity. Has anyone else here been in a similar predicament?

One year, eight months of HRT! Now counting the days til my first name change anniversary, 4/20!

Since you asked, it's been between 15 and 20 degrees Celsius on my end. Warm enough to ride a moped without a jacket on.

One year and seven months of HRT!

I'm 1.7 m a.k.a. "5'7"" tall. Of course, many of the women on my mom's side of the family are pretty tall. And in my case, this is as of my 1-year tranniversary. The hormones made me lose 25 mm of height. These aren't changes to the bones so much as the ligaments and muscles in my spinal column.

Some new drip!

I never understood why "the guy" always had to pay for dates. That's very sexist and any woman who subscribes to that line of thinking is selling out her own sex. In my own experience, it also made me feel very dysphoric to be thrust into the boyfriend role. I'd rather be pampered by another woman.

My bank is close to the beach, too. The closest branch of theirs to me is only 5-10 minutes away by moped. And that branch is just across the street from my new workplace.

One year and six months of HRT!

Still having a crush on my hormone doctor. Meanwhile, a new challenger appears. There's this pretty girl I work with who I just met a few days ago. We hit it off immediately. She's trans, too, so we have plenty of common experiences. I can't get her out of my head. But at the same time, I have a feeling she might be straight.

So I went to Weis today to buy some sweet potatoes for a Christmas party I'm going to tomorrow night. It's a potluck dinner and I'm bringing candied sweet potatoes. Gonna cook them in the Crock-Pot, then bring them to the party. I buy five cans in case upwards of 15-20 people come. After I've checked out, I head to my scooter and put my groceries in a crate on the back. Here's where things get weird. As I'm putting my groceries on my scooter, some rando comes up and starts chatting me up while putting his cart away. He brings up how unusually warm the weather is today. I went to the store in the early afternoon, and it was 19ºC out (Read: Spring-like weather). We get to talking about global warming and how we've both seen people out in shorts over the past couple days. But here's where things get odd. The guy asks me if I think foot fetishes are weird. I tell him that it's just different. Then again, I used to go on 4chan quite a bit so I've seen my share of crazy shit. He notices I have big feet. Just to humor him, I mention how most of the women on my mom's side have big feet and I got those genes somewhere along the way. He asks about whether I show my feet. Depends on the weather and whatever outfit I wear that day; I was in a blue t-shirt, black capris, and black flats. And then he asks if he could see my feet! I laugh and decline, get on my scooter, and head off home. Thankfully, he didn't try to get my number; if he had, I'd have at least given him a fake number or told him I was taken. I laugh on the way home knowing some guy tried to pick me up. Joke's on him as I like girls. Wonder how he'd react if I told him I'd consider it if he transitioned into a leggy woman. I think sometime after Christmas, I might buy a cheap bridal ring set to wear in public. If some guy tries to back the mack on me, I'll flash the wedding and engagement rings at him and make up some story about my nonexistent wife. I'll tell him my 1.8-meter tall Navy SEAL, Army Ranger, Green Beret, et hoc genus omne wife wouldn't appreciate him hitting on me. Or say that I don't want to have to bail my wife out of jail again. First time I've rebuffed a guy's attempts to hook up with me offline.

I love death metal. Dimmu Borgir and Behemoth are among my favorite bands. Never heard of Bolt Thrower til now, though.

Riding high since a Halloween party I went to on Fallout Day in October and a TDOR (Transgender Day of Remembrance) vigil I attended last month after that. I met some ladies there. Only got one's phone number, though, but all of them and I are friends on Facebook and I'm friends with one of them on Twitter. The girl who hosted the party? She and I are both gamer girls so we have at least that much in common. Unfortunately for me, though, she's straight. One of the others is a lesbian, too, but she lives out in D.C. and that's a three-hour drive from my house. I've also got eight years on her. I don't mind dating a younger woman but I have a limit: If she wasn't alive when the Nintendo 64 came out, she's too young for me. This gal was two when that console launched but at least it was during her lifetime. I've given thought to entering a T4T sapphic relationship at some point because of the shared experiences. Short of personality conflicts, it's nothing but camaraderie when you gather a bunch of trans gals in a room together. We understand each other better than cis people understand us. I can know a cis woman for years and feel like I still don't know her very well. But I can speak to another trans girl for mere hours and feel like we've known each other our whole lives. Meanwhile, I still have the hots for my hormone doctor. I revealed this to my mom and a couple other women after the TDOR vigil. Those other two women and I discussed our transition experiences. One of them had a boob job and told us how her surgeon is a lifesaver. That's when I brought up my experience with switching doctors after my original endocrinologist moved out-of-state. After I mentioned my current hormone doctor, the GP, I then admitted that I have a crush on her and have felt this way about her for months. I still can't get her out of my head. At least I have connects in case I come across other prospects. It'll take a special kind of woman to make me forget about pursuing anything with the good doctor. Even if I do pursue anything with her, I'll be discreet and pick somewhere that's not in the context of an office visit.

One year, four months of HRT!

What does YouTube want to do? Become an online version of North Korea?

Thanksgiving dinner! First Turkey Day dinner with my dad's side of the family in two years, and the first time going with them as myself. This was after polishing off two big plates of food. Wish I recorded myself eating so I could make a mukbang video of it.

Cape May, NJ. I went there only ONCE in 2014 to visit the zoo and some surrounding areas. Also went on the beach to look for Cape May diamonds.

**laughs in Carolina Reaper**