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UnevenEdge

An ode to aging

molarbear

By molarbear
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molarbear Hero

molarbear

Posted
Posted

When I was in college rodney carrington was still relevant

His prime days were on the out, but he still had a funny song everyone in college liked to listen to and sing, it was called "Dear Penis".

One of the lines went something like "you used to watch me shave, now all you do is stare at the floor."

Those words have new meanings when you're 39 and on prozac. Sometimes you wake up thinking you have pitched a tent old school style, only to discover it is the tent holding the pitch up

-fin

I had more, but the void keeps rolling on the keyboard making coherent posting simply impossible 

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molarbear Hero

molarbear

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Posted
13 hours ago, André Toulon said:

Also, i feel like we had this conversation...did i already mention box pooping?

I definitely did but have no idea the context.

Is that the alternative to a colonoscopy? We talked about that somewhere. I still have 5.5 years until I gotta get one 

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molarbear Hero

molarbear

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Posted
22 minutes ago, discolé monade said:

getting old is a mother fucker. 

 

 

I think it's mainly the meds

 

The old age is just not being able to bend and move like I used to without throwing out my back... no matter how much I workout or stretch

 

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discolé monade Monster Mutant

discolé monade

Posted
Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, molarbear said:

I think it's mainly the meds

 

The old age is just not being able to bend and move like I used to without throwing out my back... no matter how much I workout or stretch

 

wait until you reach level 5. 

and i was never vain, per se. i'd like to look presentable when i went out. 

but now, i look like a tamale husk. 

Edited by discolé monade
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scoobdog Monster Mutant

scoobdog

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, discolé monade said:

wait until you reach level 5. 

and i was never vain, per se. i'd like to look presentable when i went out. 

but now, i look like a tamale husk. 

Psh.  You look great.

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molarbear Hero

molarbear

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Posted
3 hours ago, discolé monade said:

wait until you reach level 5. 

and i was never vain, per se. i'd like to look presentable when i went out. 

but now, i look like a tamale husk. 

 

39 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

Psh.  You look great.

You still look purdy, disco!

No homo

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discolé monade Monster Mutant

discolé monade

Posted
Posted
46 minutes ago, 1pooh4u said:

Wait until you’re 49 you’ll miss how well you moved at 39 😆

30 is fun...and, possibly, revealing. 

like...my mum celebrated her finally anniversary of her 29th birthday on her 39th.

....39th on her 49th....

....49th-you get the picture. 

i used to laugh at her becuase she looked amazing, right up until the end. 

i laughed no more, when the joking became reality for me, on my 29th....

that's when i decided to just forget how old i am, and when people ask i'll just round up or down to wherever i'm supposed to be. 

and let me tell you something, boys and girls, YOU WILL FORGET YOUR AGE. maths. lots and lots of maths over the years. 

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mthor Super Hero

mthor

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, 1pooh4u said:

Wait until you’re 49 you’ll miss how well you moved at 39 😆

49? Ha! After 60, forget it. I can still move pretty well, but there are days that it's not worth the price. I buy advil at BJs now - 1000 at a time.

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Insipid Superstar

Insipid

Posted
Posted
1 minute ago, mthor said:

49? Ha! After 60, forget it. I can still move pretty well, but there are days that it's not worth the price. I buy advil at BJs now - 1000 at a time.

Oh my, I've heard quite a few stories of people destroying their kidneys that way . . .

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scoobdog Monster Mutant

scoobdog

Posted
Posted
26 minutes ago, Insipid said:

Oh my, I've heard quite a few stories of people destroying their kidneys that way . . .

Well, as long as you don’t stay hydrated and don’t follow the instructions.

1pooh4u Monster Mutant

1pooh4u

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, discolé monade said:

30 is fun...and, possibly, revealing. 

like...my mum celebrated her finally anniversary of her 29th birthday on her 39th.

....39th on her 49th....

....49th-you get the picture. 

i used to laugh at her becuase she looked amazing, right up until the end. 

i laughed no more, when the joking became reality for me, on my 29th....

that's when i decided to just forget how old i am, and when people ask i'll just round up or down to wherever i'm supposed to be. 

and let me tell you something, boys and girls, YOU WILL FORGET YOUR AGE. maths. lots and lots of maths over the years. 

Yeah I do the round down too 😆

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1pooh4u Monster Mutant

1pooh4u

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, discolé monade said:

i remember the one time, we celebrated my mum's 9th anniversary of her 39th birthday. 

dead. 

😆

my Dad got me 2 “you’re turning 20” bday cards when I turned 40. He did the same thing for other .50’s mom when she turned 80. Both times he couldn’t find cards for our respective ages. My Dad is a funny guy 😆

but yup I’ll be neverumind years old for the next 5-10 years or so 😆🫠😆

I feel like I been telling people I’m 45 for a few years now 

don’t get me started on the DOB wheel every website uses that at this point makes me feel like I’m a contestant on The Price is Right, spinning that big ass wheel to get closer to a dollar without going over 🫠

my eyes after scrolling the DOB wheel probably makes me look like Kash Patel or some shit

Me fr after filling in my DOB year part

IMG_9674.gif.5f7bf9d20304fdafeac7d8fe566eac88.gif

 

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discolé monade Monster Mutant

discolé monade

Posted
Posted
41 minutes ago, 1pooh4u said:

 

don’t get me started on the DOB wheel every website uses that at this point makes me feel like I’m a contestant on The Price is Right, spinning that big ass wheel to get closer to a dollar without going over 🫠

 

 

:LithiumSmileyLaugh:

:spookyskull:

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mthor Super Hero

mthor

Posted
Posted

My older daughter turned 40 this past Sunday, so the wheel of ages thing is really weirding me out this week. Like, Vietnam vets are all really old now, WWII vets are almost all gone, yet most of the vets I took care of at my first job (I worked as an NA at a nursing home in high school,  back when one got ojt instead of a certificate) were from WWI. And to make me feel even older, 3 out of four of my grandparents were born in the 19th century. It's like that Cleopatra lived closer to our time than to when the pyramids were built thing.

Tldr: time is weird  and now I'm tired.

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discolé monade Monster Mutant

discolé monade

Posted
Posted (edited)
19 minutes ago, 1pooh4u said:

The older you get the faster time flies 

it does, and i am finding that i need to let go of what younger me could do, and live in this moment of preperation for my golden years. 

it's the skin, and flab that hurts my feelings. 

and absolutely, the breadking down of my body, faster that it used to. 

 

Edited by discolé monade
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mthor Super Hero

mthor

Posted
Posted
33 minutes ago, discolé monade said:

it does, and i am finding that i need to let go of what younger me could do, and live in this moment of preperation for my golden years. 

it's the skin, and flab that hurts my feelings. 

and absolutely, the breadking down of my body, faster that it used to. 

 

I find that it's not so much the breaking down as the no longer bouncing back.

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1pooh4u Monster Mutant

1pooh4u

Posted
Posted
35 minutes ago, discolé monade said:

it does, and i am finding that i need to let go of what younger me could do, and live in this moment of preperation for my golden years. 

it's the skin, and flab that hurts my feelings. 

and absolutely, the breadking down of my body, faster that it used to. 

 

All that sucks. A sneeze can take us out 🫠

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1pooh4u Monster Mutant

1pooh4u

Posted
Posted

Forget about drinking in excess, or more than one drink anymore. A month or so back I had like 3 drinks and woke up like I drank all night long. Usually I don’t get particularly hungover. I guess them days are done 😆
 

no no no nope 🫠

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1pooh4u Monster Mutant

1pooh4u

Posted
Posted
On 4/13/2026 at 7:40 PM, The_annoying_one said:

I can already tell my brain is probably gonna be the first thing to go. It’s whatever, though. I’m not too worried about it.

You’re not worried about it because you no longer have the brain capacity to 😝😆

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molarbear Hero

molarbear

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Posted
On 4/15/2026 at 4:59 PM, 1pooh4u said:

Forget about drinking in excess, or more than one drink anymore. A month or so back I had like 3 drinks and woke up like I drank all night long. Usually I don’t get particularly hungover. I guess them days are done 😆
 

no no no nope 🫠

Maybe you just... I dunno

 

 

got soft 

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1pooh4u Monster Mutant

1pooh4u

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, molarbear said:

Maybe you just... I dunno

 

 

got soft 

I will drink you under the table, and wake up dead just out of spite 😆🫠😆

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André Toulon Monster Mutant

André Toulon

Posted
Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, 1pooh4u said:

 

Gen X comin in hot 😆🫠😆

Let me go ahead and say I'm just bullshitting... I get nauseous when i even smell alcohol now... I'm sure I could train myself to be a lush again, but I'm in lightweight territory now.

Edited by André Toulon
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