crackymckrackin Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 I was shot by santa. I tripped on a landmine and blew my leg off. There was a bitchin anime I had to watch. 4 Just had sex. 1 2
NaBarney Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 Say you're having volatile emotional problems and also shedding hair
RainyDayJizz#35 Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 I'm scheduled to watch Christmas Story for the next seven hours. 1
crackymckrackin Posted December 24, 2019 Author Posted December 24, 2019 11 minutes ago, NaBernie2020 said: Say you're having volatile emotional problems and also shedding hair Herpes, the crazy contagious kind. Upside is we could all run on the beach. 2
crackymckrackin Posted December 24, 2019 Author Posted December 24, 2019 5 minutes ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said: I'm scheduled to watch Christmas Story for the next seven hours. I like this.
Swimmod_Luna Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 My in-laws Christmas party is actually kind of nice there's lots of good food and I get gifts and money. Only downside is it's a small house so hard to get away when someone starts talking about Trump but usually if you throw an "OK boomer" their way they'll laugh and STFU for awhile.
crackymckrackin Posted December 24, 2019 Author Posted December 24, 2019 6 minutes ago, Athena 92 said: My in-laws Christmas party is actually kind of nice there's lots of good food and I get gifts and money. Only downside is it's a small house so hard to get away when someone starts talking about Trump but usually if you throw an "OK boomer" their way they'll laugh and STFU for awhile. Take up smoking, sneak out for a smoke. I've skipped entire parties doing this. 1
Swimmod_Luna Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 Just now, crackymckrackin said: Take up smoking, sneak out for a smoke. I've skipped entire parties doing this. They all smoke so I'd just end up talking to them more
crackymckrackin Posted December 24, 2019 Author Posted December 24, 2019 16 minutes ago, Athena 92 said: They all smoke so I'd just end up talking to them more Heroine?
Swimmod_Luna Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 Just now, crackymckrackin said: Heroine? Well one of them used to do that, too 2
crackymckrackin Posted December 24, 2019 Author Posted December 24, 2019 6 minutes ago, Athena 92 said: Well one of them used to do that, too Well shit. I know how to get uninvited but getting out of it is harder. Make every conversation about yourself to the point you cut everyone off mid sentence, changing the subject and talk over them.
avec Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 My dog is having really bad separation anxiety all of a sudden. One of my toes fell off. Christmas sucks.
tsar4 Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 "Well, my therapist says I should avoid groups of people until these thoughts of mass-murder subside, but what the heck?" "The ankle monitor won't let me go more than 50 ft. outside my house." "I can't go outside...that's where THEY are!" 3
crackymckrackin Posted December 24, 2019 Author Posted December 24, 2019 37 minutes ago, Naraku4656 said: you have a rare form of ass cancer Colorectal cancer...might work. There is a serious pain in my ass while they are around. 1
crackymckrackin Posted December 24, 2019 Author Posted December 24, 2019 38 minutes ago, lesans_muse said: My dog is having really bad separation anxiety all of a sudden. One of my toes fell off. Christmas sucks. They know my wife's dog hates everyone so that won't work. Toes are good...I might be able to work with this...fetch me my knife. 1
crackymckrackin Posted December 24, 2019 Author Posted December 24, 2019 31 minutes ago, tsar4 said: "Well, my therapist says I should avoid groups of people until these thoughts of mass-murder subside, but what the heck?" "The ankle monitor won't let me go more than 50 ft. outside my house." "I can't go outside...that's where THEY are!" I like most of these, hit a little close to home with that bunch.
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 2 hours ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said: I'm scheduled to watch Christmas Story for the next seven hours. What, you're not going to get enough of that tomorrow?
molarbear Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 tell them you have explosive diarrhea no one ever questions that 1 1
Doom Metal Alchemist Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 3 minutes ago, molarbear said: tell them you have explosive diarrhea no one ever questions that "It's ok! We just bought TP at Costco and the toilet needs cleaning anyway."
molarbear Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 1 minute ago, Doom Metal Alchemist said: "It's ok! We just bought TP at Costco and the toilet needs cleaning anyway." proceeds to ignore phone 2
katt_goddess Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 35 minutes ago, molarbear said: tell them you have explosive diarrhea no one ever questions that DAMNIT! I was going to post that! Go with the flu angle if you are looking at a realistic excuse. Say that you've got a slight tickle in your throat and have started spiking brief fevers; you'd rather not risk being around a bunch of people if you are at the start of an illness since that's both when you are more contagious and most likely to really make it worse by pushing yourself too much. Proceed to watch movies or play vidya games the rest of the night while avoiding the phone 'because you are resting' . 1
Seight Posted December 24, 2019 Posted December 24, 2019 "Oh wait, you said Paris, Texas? That's...kinda where I went."
crackymckrackin Posted December 24, 2019 Author Posted December 24, 2019 44 minutes ago, Seight said: "Oh wait, you said Paris, Texas? That's...kinda where I went." Oxford........Mississippi.
lupin_bebop Posted December 25, 2019 Posted December 25, 2019 My favorite: I just came down with the flu, and don't want to get all of you sick. Another: My pet needs me more They are injured/need shots/are sick
molarbear Posted December 25, 2019 Posted December 25, 2019 7 hours ago, katt_goddess said: DAMNIT! I was going to post that! Go with the flu angle if you are looking at a realistic excuse. Say that you've got a slight tickle in your throat and have started spiking brief fevers; you'd rather not risk being around a bunch of people if you are at the start of an illness since that's both when you are more contagious and most likely to really make it worse by pushing yourself too much. Proceed to watch movies or play vidya games the rest of the night while avoiding the phone 'because you are resting' . Post faster ya old fart! 1
PhilosipherStoned Posted December 25, 2019 Posted December 25, 2019 My cat is depressed is always THE BEST excuse. No sarcasm intented anywhere.
Gina Szanboti Posted December 25, 2019 Posted December 25, 2019 Man, watching that guy trying to cut up that steak just depressed the hell out of me. No Idea what it's from, so what I see is this sadly pathetic guy, all skinny legs and bad eyes, in his nerdiest pose, just patiently trying to get lousy food into his body so he can continue on for another day just trying to survive in a hostile world he's patently unfit for. And you just know that plate is going to go flying off his lap any second now, and he'll be left with nothing. He is 85% of the world personified. Merry Christmas! 1 2
molarbear Posted December 25, 2019 Posted December 25, 2019 11 hours ago, Gina Szanboti said: Man, watching that guy trying to cut up that steak just depressed the hell out of me. No Idea what it's from, so what I see is this sadly pathetic guy, all skinny legs and bad eyes, in his nerdiest pose, just patiently trying to get lousy food into his body so he can continue on for another day just trying to survive in a hostile world he's patently unfit for. And you just know that plate is going to go flying off his lap any second now, and he'll be left with nothing. He is 85% of the world personified. Merry Christmas! That's a scene from Napoleon Dynamite
RainyDayJizz#35 Posted December 25, 2019 Posted December 25, 2019 2 hours ago, molarbear said: That's a scene from Napoleon Dynamite But her take on it was far better than anything the movie offered. Besides the dance scene, possibly, but that was the whole point of the movie.
Gina Szanboti Posted December 26, 2019 Posted December 26, 2019 22 hours ago, molarbear said: That's a scene from Napoleon Dynamite Thanks. I've seen a zillion random clips around the internet, but never the whole movie. That's probably for the best.
Recommended Posts