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UnevenEdge

I don't believe in the paranormal or anything like that.


GuyBeardmane

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So I'm inviting all demons and ghosts and skinwalkers and rakes and slendermen and Jeffs the Killer and any other supernatural being to stalk me and prove me wrong.  I am also flipping them all off to taunt them, because that's what the nonexistent cowards.

 

I will post updates as absolutely jack shit happens.

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I mean, working in places like schools and hospitals, you'll hear and see some freaky shit that can't be explained.

When it comes to the schools in my district, I legit think at least half of them are haunted. One of our grade schools is barely 10 feet away from a small graveyard, and the guys that have worked evenings at that one hear and see unexplainable shit frequently. Like one night out of nowhere they could hear kids laughing and playing around in the gym room, but when they went there it was completely empty. At another school, there's a really small second floor area that's only like 1 or 2 rooms, but people have heard noises being made up there late into the day, but there's no one around.

Hell, when I was 9 or 10 I lived next to this one house, the neighbor kid was one of my best friends, and his parents told me their house was haunted. The first night I stayed over there, I could hear things being moved around downstairs. The way his house was, all the bedrooms were upstairs, and when it came to his room, his was technically an open room that's next to the stairs, them using it as a third bedroom, so if anyone went downstairs we'd have seen them walking through.

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Sounds like something my friend did in high school. Our school had a native american graveyard in the courtyard of the school. My friend got into an argument with someone about ghosts. Then he was like fine, and went over and started dancing on the Native graves doing that indian stereotype thing where you keep putting your hand over your mouth and go like oh ah eh oh oh ah etc. Then yelled fuckin haunt me. Nothing really came of it. 

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10 minutes ago, HardcoreHunter said:

Sounds like something my friend did in high school. Our school had a native american graveyard in the courtyard of the school. My friend got into an argument with someone about ghosts. Then he was like fine, and went over and started dancing on the Native graves doing that indian stereotype thing where you keep putting your hand over your mouth and go like oh ah eh oh oh ah etc. Then yelled fuckin haunt me. Nothing really came of it. 

I mean it's an asshole move to dance on graves and playing up the racist stereotype.  Respect the deceased.  But otherwise the sentiment is the same.  I need to get a ouija board so I can pee on it and invite all the evil spirits inside of it to fuck me up.

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There's this one guy I work with, who's just as big of a bible thumper as humanly possible. The guy lets the bible dictate EVERYTHING about his life, and also uses it to decide on what's real. A major quote of his being things along the lines of "because that's what the bible says" or "the bible doesn't say anything about that". Like, one time I was telling him some random story about someone I know who co-signed for a car and made all the payments while the other person didn't and ended up taking the car from the person that did, my guy then went on about "that's the thing, you should never co-sign. Even if you were my son I wouldn't co-sign for you ____" and then he was all "do you know why? cause the bible says you should never co-sign", that being random as fuck. When it comes to ghosts, I remember one time telling him about a haunting that I saw on tv, and he went on about "I don't believe in ghosts" and how "the bible doesn't say anything about that" even though there's the holy spirit, which used to be referred to as the holy ghost. And of course when it comes to things like aliens and dinosaurs they don't exist either, cause the bible says nothing of them. Like there was a time over a year ago where one of my other guys was sitting in the room, and that Jurassic World movie was brought up, and my bible thumper coworker was all "you know, I don't believe in dinosaurs" my other guy was just all "there's thousands of fossils out there" to which he was all "yeah, but that could be any animal", my other guy said a few other things about dinosaurs being real, to which mr christ was all "I mean seriously, Carbon dating? Who comes up with this stuff," and then uses the whole infamous line of "the world is only 3000 years old".

People are free to believe in whatever, but anyone that tries to say dinosaurs weren't real and that the world is only 3000-5000 years old gets an immediate nope from me.

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5 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

I mean it's an asshole move to dance on graves and playing up the racist stereotype.  Respect the deceased.  But otherwise the sentiment is the same.  I need to get a ouija board so I can pee on it and invite all the evil spirits inside of it to fuck me up.

agree but it was like 1999 or 2000 and he was around 12 at the time. 

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7 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

I mean it's an asshole move to dance on graves and playing up the racist stereotype.  Respect the deceased.  But otherwise the sentiment is the same.  I need to get a ouija board so I can pee on it and invite all the evil spirits inside of it to fuck me up.

But why tho D=  I'm not saying that I'm a believer, but why fuck with things you don't know abou....ohhhhhhhh

stillthisthreadismakingmeanxious 😅

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11 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

Update: I woke up this morning a bit earlier than I would have liked to.  Not feeling haunted nor have any unexplained phenomena occurred while I slept.

Fucking cowardly ghosts/demons/shadow people.

You're doing it wrong. Buy a ouija board and spell out "Hello spirits" before saying "If you can hear this kindly point me in the direction of your mothers they're all overdue for their weekly rodding. Instead of saying goodbye to close the magic portal shit your overly expensive piece of cardboard somehow facilitates simply say "now fuck off you cucks..haha ghosted" then piss on the ouija board. If that doesn't work repeat step 3 a few more times with a full bladder. 

Edited by PhilosipherStoned
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Update: still nothing.  So far my experiment is proving my claim that the supernatural doesn't exist.  Which, you know, shouldn't even be questioned.

Edit: if anyone in this forum practices or knows someone who practices magic or witchcraft or anything, tell them I said they were a stupid piece of dung and that they don't have the sexual prowess to please someone of the gender they are attracted to.  Then proceed to inform them I dared them to curse me with everything they can muster.

Edited by GuyBeardmane
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18 hours ago, GuyBeardmane said:

Update: still nothing.  So far my experiment is proving my claim that the supernatural doesn't exist.  Which, you know, shouldn't even be questioned.

Edit: if anyone in this forum practices or knows someone who practices magic or witchcraft or anything, tell them I said they were a stupid piece of dung and that they don't have the sexual prowess to please someone of the gender they are attracted to.  Then proceed to inform them I dared them to curse me with everything they can muster.

I don't do curses, but are you down for human sacrifice? It doesn't say anything here about being a virgin so I guess anybody will do. ..

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  • 9 months later...
  • 1 year later...
On 9/9/2020 at 5:22 PM, Raptorpat said:

could you poop if you were afraid a ghost was watching you

Me personally?  Yes.  Like, if I'm already in the bathroom because I have to poop, then I'm pooping.

Also Update: Still nothing, except for that one weird nightmare where shadow people forced me into the backseat of a car between them mafia-style and one of them was leaning over to whisper something in my ear and it freaked me out and filled me with so much dread that I woke straight up, but that was just one nightmare in two years of taunting the supernatural.  Like, a nightmare ain't shit.  I'm waiting for something significant, like Stay-Puft squashing my house.

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10 minutes ago, Baby_Yoda said:

I believe in stuff like that.

I saw a lot on my trips to Nigeria to see my mom’s tribe.

I also grew up in an old victorian home in Pennsylvania. I had an experience that really scared me as a child.

You're gonna go through the trouble of brewing that tea and not follow through with spilling it?

Tell some stories.

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I remember when I was a kid, there was this one house across the street from us, that I guess we were friends with. There was one day we (mom&dad, maybe my sis too) were over there, and they had some hangout area down in their basement. I remember going down the stairs to the basement, but before you get to the one room, there was a door next to the stairs. I remember opening it out of curiosity to see what was in there, and it was a laundry room, but at the far end directly in front of the door there was what looked like a ghostly figure. This is a memory that has stuck with me for life. It was a man, and he looked completely white, and I recall a bright light behind him. After I opened the door, I didn't say anything and I remember him looking at me and then started walking my way. I quickly closed the door and went to where everyone else was in the basement. I never said anything to anyone about that.

The likelihood of this being a ghost is debatable. It could have just been some guy, and then the light could have been coming from a basement window behind him, but despite this happening when I was around 4 it's always been a memory that has stuck with me in life.

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It's stories like that that make me jealous.  Like, I'm a skeptic because I want to believe in the supernatural but I have never had any experiences like that and many stories I have heard are immediately disprovable.  I've always been a rational thinker and I'd love for something out of the blue to challenge my mindset.  I'd love to go on a ghost hunt and actually observe something that can't be explained.  I'd love to play with a ouija board and have weird sounds throw me off.  Just, something that makes the world more mysterious.

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42 minutes ago, GuyBeardmane said:

You're gonna go through the trouble of brewing that tea and not follow through with spilling it?

Tell some stories.

My mom is traditional igbo. In her tribe they still have witch doctors and are under the impression sickness is just a spirit or demon.

They do rituals to remove the invading spirit and i have met someone who was ostracized for having a spirit in them. I did not know, but when meeting them i got extreme anxiety and when she looked at me i realized every hair on my body stood up. It’s a feeling i have never gotten before in 100+ degree weather. I just went cold. I could actually feel her looking into me, not just at me. I ran. I found out she was living on the outskirts of the village because they deemed her evil or infested. 

As for that old house i moved to in Enola, Pennsylvania. It always gave me a weird feel even when moving in. All the doors had skeleton keys and it just was creepy.

I am really afraid of the dark and often would get feelings of dread staring into the darkness.

I shared a room with my older sister. We had bunk beds. I was on the top bunk and there was a ladder that you climbed up to get to my bed.

It was storming and i was terrified. I covered my head because in my mind, i was safe under the covers. In between the sounds of thunder and lightning, i heard the sounds of creaking or someone climbing up the ladder of my bunk bed. I was too afraid to look and then i felt pressure on my feet, moving up to my legs, and it just kept going. Something was climbing on top of me and i heard breathing and growls. I did not have the audacity to look, but i felt whatever it was knew i was awake and it started pressing on my face and i could not breathe. I just layed there hoping it would end and the weight just disappeared. I tore off the covers and nothing was there. I screamed for my mom and dad, woke up my sister, and my dad blessed the house after looking at me.

In this house, i also started to suffer from sleep paralysis as a child into teenage-hood. I was in the living room and fell asleep. I woke up with the normal sensation of being awake, but unable to move my body or speak. I looked around the living room realized where i was and started trying to move my fingertips like the doctor had told me to do. I looked to the right of me.

We had a foyer that separated the living room from the front door. The door was made out of glass. I felt like something was watching me every time i looked in there. It was just a darkness.

i was starting to get scared and was trying so hard to move my hand, my fingers began to move then i was able to move my arm. I tried to push myself up like usual and i was pushed back down with a force that was unnatural, that i had never experienced with sleep paralysis. I was literally struggling and fighting to sit up, even though i was awake and my body was awake. I fell off the couch and i never slept there again.

Later on, my family found out my brother was into* some crazy things. He had pentagrams under all his furniture and he took a gargoyle and a headstone from a cemetery. Whatever he did, i always felt he was the cause for my experiences. Something attached onto me as a child and then i feel it followed him when he moved out.

He had an Egyptian eye of protection around his belly button and it was clawed off of him at his new place. He would beg me to spend a night, but something told me not to.

As a child i felt like i was clairvoyant and i still am to this day. It’s why i think things tormented me so in that house and why i still am afraid of the dark today.

Edited by Baby_Yoda
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  • 1 year later...
On 11/21/2019 at 9:44 PM, GuyBeardmane said:

 

Edit: if anyone in this forum practices or knows someone who practices magic or witchcraft or anything, tell them I said they were a stupid piece of dung and that they don't have the sexual prowess to please someone of the gender they are attracted to.  Then proceed to inform them I dared them to curse me with everything they can muster.

*Ahem.

"Your mother." 

And if that doesn't bring you back : 'my boobs are haunted, they defy gravity.' 

:D 

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