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How long are you willing to wait on someone/spontaneity VS planning.


André Toulon

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Really two different subjects, but I think it can be covered in one thread.

If you and another person had plans to meet at a certain time and they say "I need another hour" after the fact, would you consider waiting (assuming you weren't doing anything else) or would you just make other plans.  This only applies if the person asks you to wait because if we were scheduled to meet and I don't hear from you 10 minutes past the scheduled time, I'm out.

Now that applies to plans, but what if you spontaneously invite someone somewhere due to a whim and while you are ready to go now, how much time are you willing to give them to get ready to go.....Now I understand this can be situational.....Say if it's for lunch and you only have an hour to kill...Of course you can't wait long.  Or if it's to catch a movie that'll be showing shortly......But what if it's just "let's hang out for a bit...nothing in particular"  How long would you give them before you get bored and go alone or invite someone else who says "Ok, be there in a sec"

 

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1 minute ago, jackiemarie90 said:

Apparently I’m willing to wait over 2 hours for someone like I did two weeks ago. It made me feel like shit afterwards tho. 
The kicker is they told me to meet them at that time. Lol At least they have me free drugs so I shouldn’t complain.

2 hours is just too much time if you ask me....I guess the free drugs was worth it, but eh.

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10 minutes ago, jackiemarie90 said:

Yeah he did notify at the scheduled time that he needed moar time but lol and hr later I went to get food. Lol

See, I could appreciate the call but I would need a specific time in place of the original because there was no way I'm waiting for 2 hours.....Well, I guess unless I was waiting for drugs, but I don't even wait for those now.  they literally have stores with my shit in it.

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3 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

See, I could appreciate the call but I would need a specific time in place of the original because there was no way I'm waiting for 2 hours.....Well, I guess unless I was waiting for drugs, but I don't even wait for those now.  they literally have stores with my shit in it.

He was my ride to a concert. I asked for his help, so I was kinda at their mercy. Idk, like in many instances I should be grateful but my low self esteem just makes me think I really am nothing to people. Lol The anime con I’m going to next months are on my terms so I am looking forward to that.

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13 minutes ago, jackiemarie90 said:

He was my ride to a concert. I asked for his help, so I was kinda at their mercy. Idk, like in many instances I should be grateful but my low self esteem just makes me think I really am nothing to people. Lol The anime con I’m going to next months are on my terms so I am looking forward to that.

Oh ok...I see what you're saying.  

I got enough of that waiting on my uncle to take me places he promised so I got over that shit early.....Like I would be sitting in the window at 8pm, waiting to go somewhere we were supposed to be at 6 and thinking "damn, he really doesn't care"

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If we made plans I usually send out text alerts  like .... "almost ready" or "about to leave." If I make it to the place and you hit me back with I need another hour ... Im out. 

I dont do spontaneous whim meet ups anymore. Takes too much time and effort to get the miniature and myself ready and pop up.  

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14 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

Oh ok...I see what you're saying.  

I got enough of that waiting on my uncle to take me places he promised so I got over that shit early.....Like I would be sitting in the window at 8pm, waiting to go somewhere we were supposed to be at 6 and thinking "damn, he really doesn't care"

I don’t think I will ever get over it sadly. Lol I grew up with a family that hates my existence so I really don’t know how to act around others and just think anyone hates me. Lol

its hard making new friends for me.

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7 minutes ago, Vamped said:

If we made plans I usually send out text alerts  like .... "almost ready" or "about to leave." If I make it to the place and you hit me back with I need another hour ... Im out. 

I dont do spontaneous whim meet ups anymore. Takes too much time and effort to get the miniature and myself ready and pop up.  

Yeah, I ain't feeling that hour shit

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1 hour ago, André Toulon said:

Really two different subjects, but I think it can be covered in one thread.

If you and another person had plans to meet at a certain time and they say "I need another hour" after the fact, would you consider waiting (assuming you weren't doing anything else) or would you just make other plans.  This only applies if the person asks you to wait because if we were scheduled to meet and I don't hear from you 10 minutes past the scheduled time, I'm out.

Now that applies to plans, but what if you spontaneously invite someone somewhere due to a whim and while you are ready to go now, how much time are you willing to give them to get ready to go.....Now I understand this can be situational.....Say if it's for lunch and you only have an hour to kill...Of course you can't wait long.  Or if it's to catch a movie that'll be showing shortly......But what if it's just "let's hang out for a bit...nothing in particular"  How long would you give them before you get bored and go alone or invite someone else who says "Ok, be there in a sec"

 

I think it’s healthier to be spontaneous. You can’t get upset that plans you didn’t make didn’t work out.

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I went away once many years back (celebrated my grandparents' 50th anniversary) and it put me in proximity to another board member and we made plans to meet up on a certain day.

Everyone in my family was going to a theme park that day, and I even had bought a ticket, but was like "oh no, I'd rather hang out with my friend."

Sat there waiting all day, totally ghosted.

Same thing happened with a job prospect once. Got a call that someone was looking for help and gave me his number, called and spoke to the guy and he said he'd call me the next day to get started.

So I cancelled whatever I might have had going on, put on a suit, and waited for the call. And waited and waited, and finally called him myself and he was like "I gotta be honest, I went with someone else who actually called me first yesterday."

Unfortunately for me I'm always willing to give the other person another few minutes.

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26 minutes ago, Admin_Raptorpat said:

 

Same thing happened with a job prospect once. Got a call that someone was looking for help and gave me his number, called and spoke to the guy and he said he'd call me the next day to get started.

 

I would have made time for that as well, but would have been pissed all the same.

I've only met one other ASMBer and she was prompt....We were just exchanging some items but we sat and talked for a bit before I had to go to work.

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it was supposed to be something simple, like a "let's go get wings or something" and he flat out ghosted me until later than night and apologized - i think he said he went to a friend's house and watched football, or something he clearly could have told me beforehand so I didn't waste $70 on a theme park ticket. 

it also didn't help that I was massively depressed as I recently got some variation of dumped (the "you remember that guy i told you not to worry about" way) by a girl from work i had a bit of a fling with, was forced on an extended family trip i didn't really want to be on because of that, and was kind of looking forward to this one little neat thing I could do.

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I don’t like tardiness of any kind. Regardless if I’m not currently doing anything...if we make plans adhere to them. As for spontaneously adding a new party that isn’t ready...fine...but hurry the fuck up...this is my time that I’ve decided to share...don’t fucking waste it

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I don’t really meet up with people all that often, so the few times I do I will wait if they’re not ready.  Honestly, it has less to do with respect for my time as it does with me willing myself not to over plan.  On the other hand, I’m prompt for work meetings, and I will start the meeting on time no matter what.

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Not driving myself eliminates a lot of that bc ppl pick me up or I go to their house and they drive us from there. Or I just really make sure they're gonna be there. But sometimes ppl still fuck shit up. Whether I tolerate it/get mad depends who they are. Like rapper made me wait like hours a few times and I'm not going to get mad as long as he doesn't stand me up completely. 

And on the other hand, not driving makes you very used to waiting w/all the public transportation and all. So even if I don't have to wait on friends, I tolerate the process of waiting for things extremely well.

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Oh, I've been so busy trolling I forgot to finish this....But it's exactly as I thought.  It's fall break and me and the kids wanted to go to 6 Flags....But it doesn't fucking reopen until Thursday and they go back tomorrow.  So the plan is to go to Pinstacks....I told my nephew he could go, and we wanted to leave at noon....Is he here, nope.  So he is about to get left.

The only reason I haven't already left is I have to wait on the Boy Scout office to open at 1 so that bought him some time, but right now he has a prayer.

Edited by André Toulon
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