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Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental disease...


Skiles

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That you didn't agree that you had?

 

I have. Very recently, in fact. Although the fucked up part of it is that, if the doctor is right, the illness I'm diagnosed with will actively convince me that I don't have it, so no matter how right I feel like I am, I could be wrong. But it's my own brain, and I think I know my brain better than someone who doesn't live with it.

 

 

 

What a mind fuck, right?

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That you didn't agree that you had?

 

I have. Very recently, in fact. Although the fucked up part of it is that, if the doctor is right, the illness I'm diagnosed with will actively convince me that I don't have it, so no matter how right I feel like I am, I could be wrong. But it's my own brain, and I think I know my brain better than someone who doesn't live with it.

 

 

 

What a mind fuck, right?

 

no, thats pretty common actually. my father is for sure bipolar and displays sociopathic behaviors and thoughts, or so according to the psychiatrist he saw before his and my mothers divorce. he only decided to go because of my mothers ultimatum that he get help, or he get out. he decided not to continue because he also did not believe it to be true. he thought the devil had possessed my mother and the psychiatrist to conspire against him for the sake of money and hurting him.

 

a great friend of mine also schizophrenic and it took him til he was in his early 30's to stay on his medication and believe what the doctors had been telling him nearly his whole life. all that will be wiped away if he ever stops taking his meds again. its been 8 years now and he is doing great  :)

 

the thing is, when its like that and your mental illness causes you to not believe what the doctors are telling you, that goes into other areas of your health as well. because its your body and you think you know better. i've been watching my father slowly die for about 7 years now. i am 100% positive it is diabetes and now probably a few other conditions. he refuses to seek medical help because he thinks its just old age, dehydration, and that there aren't enough healthy shit food options/or that people are trying to kill him with greasy food. he is a skeleton with skin, half of his teeth are gone so he wears dentures, he wears hoodies/long sleeves and gloves year round because he has no fat to keep him warm, his hands and feet are either hurting him or numb, and i've noticed ulcers around his ankles/calves when i've seen him pull up his socks. because of the mental illnesses, he will not see reason from loved ones or professionals. but we are in a bind because he also has not posed any threat to others, still works every day,  and pays all his bills. we've talked to lawyers and psychiatrists about options but there really is none. even if he has this mental illness, he is not mentally incompetent and so retains full rights to his own health and body. so we watch him slowly die and struggle a little more every day, all while also having to cope with the nastier side of his mental state. 

 

so listen to your doctor and get whatever help you need.

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At bootcamp that I washed out of, there was this bastard quack who kept telling me that the reason for my horrible stomach pain was dehydration or depression. He kept harping on the latter because I felt stressed out due to being in so much agony that it was hard for me to eat. He and other idiot doctors are part of why I separated so I could get real care.

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What did they say you have?

Insanity in the membranity.  :o

 

I was, and this is true... "tentatively diagnosed" with schizoaffective disorder. I don't even know what the fuck that means. :|

 

I imagine it's a fancy way of saying, "You're gonna be a guinea pig while we fiddle around with your meds."

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No but I did get dangerously close to being sent to one of those gay conversion camps as per my father and a therapist he took me to. So there's that.

They probably should have, ya big homo.

 

Seriously though, the way you phrased that makes it sound like a camp where they try to make you gay. And I like that idea more than what it actually was. :|

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Insanity in the membranity.  :o

 

I was, and this is true... "tentatively diagnosed" with schizoaffective disorder. I don't even know what the fuck that means. :|

 

I imagine it's a fancy way of saying, "You're gonna be a guinea pig while we fiddle around with your meds."

 

Its one of the most vague descriptions in the whole book! My own opinion- its just a bipolar dude who has been smoking too much weed and sniffing to much coke. Don't ask me how I have some to such conclusions :|

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Its one of the most vague descriptions in the whole book! My own opinion- its just a bipolar dude who has been smoking too much weed and sniffing to much coke. Don't ask me how I have some to such conclusions :|

I haven't touched a drink or any drug in over two years, though! D:

 

Honestly though, I think the diagnosis makes sense for me. But having done research on it, I understand why they hesitate to make a concrete decision on it. As you said, the description is very vague.

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In 2003 my primary care doctor diagnosed me with depression, which I fully agreed with. In 2008, a psychiatrist changed that to bipolar disorder, which I did not agree with at all. But I've since come to accept the bipolar diagnosis.

 

You don't take meds for it?

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