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UnevenEdge

The dumbest thing you've done while drunk


Still Me

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Dented the frame of the host's above-ground pool doing a cannonball.

Stepped onto a stair that didn't exist, fell off their elevated back porch into a pile of beer cans and old tires.

Broke the knob off the back of their drum chair falling over.

Slept on their futon, turned over, took the futon with me and ripped the curtain rod out of the wall.

 

But I helped clean up trash the next morning.

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Dented the frame of the host's above-ground pool doing a cannonball.

Stepped onto a stair that didn't exist, fell off their elevated back porch into a pile of beer cans and old tires.

Broke the knob off the back of their drum chair falling over.

Slept on their futon, turned over, took the futon with me and ripped the curtain rod out of the wall.

 

But I helped clean up trash the next morning.

 

Lol, all in one night

 

"Beer cans and old tires" I'm dying

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It was by the back of the house where they sat trash before trash day and they had some tires and bags of cans.

 

people also started throwing their empty cans and bottles and cigarette butts down there as the party progressed.

 

you don't have to explain yourself

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I told this story on lithium....wasn't too sure if I wanted to revisit it but got wasted with these girls on freak street.  It was called freak street because every chick on the block was a slut and basically competed for dicks.

 

Well, I bought a bunch of liquor and blow to get them loose but since I'm a greedy monster I wound up the one wasted.  I remember stripping and cooking burgers naked.......I don't remember anything after that.  Later, pictures surfaced of them violating my passed out corpse of a body......Small town so they circulated fast.  It took a while to reestablish my street cred after that.

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I told this story on lithium....wasn't too sure if I wanted to revisit it but got wasted with these girls on freak street.  It was called freak street because every chick on the block was a slut and basically competed for dicks.

 

Well, I bought a bunch of liquor and blow to get them loose but since I'm a greedy monster I wound up the one wasted.  I remember stripping and cooking burgers naked.......I don't remember anything after that.  Later, pictures surfaced of them violating my passed out corpse of a body......Small town so they circulated fast.  It took a while to reestablish my street cred after that.

 

"street cred"? Good lord  ::)

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Okay since I had only replied with relatable stories, I really had to dig deep for this one.

 

...and I can't. I have too many. So, I'll just name a few.

 

-Rolling a Ford Explorer across a ditch when I was 15.

 

-Driving my 50mph riding lawnmower through a bonfire when I was 15.

 

-Having a dude bust in on my friend's party with a gun, and I stood up to him... which turned into an "Oh shit cuz, I had the wrong house... My b.." (house was a duplex, dude next door skipped town on him or whatever) when I was 16.

 

-Mudding a streetbike and actually getting shot, for real. It was just a .22 and the bullet grazed my side :D 6 drunken muddy band-aids later, all was well... I was 17.

 

-Getting shot in the right eye with an air soft gun and having to ride my streetbike 3 hours back home with one open eye the next day. 17.

 

-7 hour float trip with inuyashaboy05[/member] and Xanatos1987[/member] . Started out sober, didn't end sober. Worst sunburn we all have ever had in our lives. 18.

 

-Doing wheelies out front of my house in nothing but a pair of ball shorts... dumped the streetbike hard and lost the one mirror I had. 19.

 

-Stole license plates from three of Viperslayer?[/member] 's neighbors, one being a brand new tag. 20.

 

-Walked up to a Philly cop at Pride festival with an almost empty can of beer, and asked him where "to get more of this" as I pointed at my beer. He actually helped out me and the group of underage friends I was with. One friend was of age so she hooked us up. :D 20.

 

-Had to be the fucking chauffeur for my own party, was given bad directions, ended up doing a U-turn in front of a toll plaza for the PA Turnpike entrance with 7 people in a K5 Blazer only meant to seat 5. Just turned 21.

 

-Filled an old outside wood stove with wood and gasoline, stuck a match down in through the flue, it went kaboom as I pulled my arm up out. I was at Nautius_Maximus[/member] 's party, so a few board members can attest to this. Oh and DrPheelgood gave ma a blowjob in the vacant apartment downstairs :| 22.

 

-the ONE time I was ever drunk on a boat. I drove, my stepdad had the net, my stepbrother had the fishing pole, our friend Ed had the flashlight. We were in 1-3 foot deep water in the OBX, in a 19' Trophy NOT meant for that so it kept getting stuck and I had to keep lifting the motor and backing up. Luckily it never got permanently stuck. ALL THIS for one odd looking fish that ended up being full of worms. :| 23.

 

-Ripped my Mustang through a recently harvested cornfield when I was 24. I won.

 

-Spun donuts behind my job with 4 coworkers in the Jeep with me, clipped an iced up pile of snow drift-style, cracked my back bumper. 25.

 

-Last year was when I stole the apartment fridge with my golf cart, took Nautius_Maximus[/member] through a cornfield on the golf cart, took my friend drifting and on a 5 mile road trip on the golf cart...

 

-This year was Nauticon... I don't even wanna get into it.  -_'

 

I left out a bunch but I figured I put enough stuff.  >:D

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Okay since I had only replied with relatable stories, I really had to dig deep for this one.

 

...and I can't. I have too many. So, I'll just name a few.

 

-Rolling a Ford Explorer across a ditch when I was 15.

 

-Driving my 50mph riding lawnmower through a bonfire when I was 15.

 

-Having a dude bust in on my friend's party with a gun, and I stood up to him... which turned into an "Oh shit cuz, I had the wrong house... My b.." (house was a duplex, dude next door skipped town on him or whatever) when I was 16.

 

-Mudding a streetbike and actually getting shot, for real. It was just a .22 and the bullet grazed my side :D 6 drunken muddy band-aids later, all was well... I was 17.

 

-Getting shot in the right eye with an air soft gun and having to ride my streetbike 3 hours back home with one open eye the next day. 17.

 

-7 hour float trip with inuyashaboy05[/member] and Xanatos1987[/member] . Started out sober, didn't end sober. Worst sunburn we all have ever had in our lives. 18.

 

-Doing wheelies out front of my house in nothing but a pair of ball shorts... dumped the streetbike hard and lost the one mirror I had. 19.

 

-Stole license plates from three of Viperslayer?[/member] 's neighbors, one being a brand new tag. 20.

 

-Walked up to a Philly cop at Pride festival with an almost empty can of beer, and asked him where "to get more of this" as I pointed at my beer. He actually helped out me and the group of underage friends I was with. One friend was of age so she hooked us up. :D 20.

 

-Had to be the fucking chauffeur for my own party, was given bad directions, ended up doing a U-turn in front of a toll plaza for the PA Turnpike entrance with 7 people in a K5 Blazer only meant to seat 5. Just turned 21.

 

-Filled an old outside wood stove with wood and gasoline, stuck a match down in through the flue, it went kaboom as I pulled my arm up out. I was at Nautius_Maximus[/member] 's party, so a few board members can attest to this. Oh and DrPheelgood gave ma a blowjob in the vacant apartment downstairs :| 22.

 

-the ONE time I was ever drunk on a boat. I drove, my stepdad had the net, my stepbrother had the fishing pole, our friend Ed had the flashlight. We were in 1-3 foot deep water in the OBX, in a 19' Trophy NOT meant for that so it kept getting stuck and I had to keep lifting the motor and backing up. Luckily it never got permanently stuck. ALL THIS for one odd looking fish that ended up being full of worms. :| 23.

 

-Ripped my Mustang through a recently harvested cornfield when I was 24. I won.

 

-Spun donuts behind my job with 4 coworkers in the Jeep with me, clipped an iced up pile of snow drift-style, cracked my back bumper. 25.

 

-Last year was when I stole the apartment fridge with my golf cart, took Nautius_Maximus[/member] through a cornfield on the golf cart, took my friend drifting and on a 5 mile road trip on the golf cart...

 

-This year was Nauticon... I don't even wanna get into it.  -_'

 

I left out a bunch but I figured I put enough stuff.  >:D

 

Oh man if the like button was working this post should have about 10

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  • 1 month later...

Okay since I had only replied with relatable stories, I really had to dig deep for this one.

 

...and I can't. I have too many. So, I'll just name a few.

 

-Rolling a Ford Explorer across a ditch when I was 15.

 

-Driving my 50mph riding lawnmower through a bonfire when I was 15.

 

-Having a dude bust in on my friend's party with a gun, and I stood up to him... which turned into an "Oh shit cuz, I had the wrong house... My b.." (house was a duplex, dude next door skipped town on him or whatever) when I was 16.

 

-Mudding a streetbike and actually getting shot, for real. It was just a .22 and the bullet grazed my side :D 6 drunken muddy band-aids later, all was well... I was 17.

 

-Getting shot in the right eye with an air soft gun and having to ride my streetbike 3 hours back home with one open eye the next day. 17.

 

-7 hour float trip with inuyashaboy05[/member] and Xanatos1987[/member] . Started out sober, didn't end sober. Worst sunburn we all have ever had in our lives. 18.

BEST TIME EVER...........

 

-Doing wheelies out front of my house in nothing but a pair of ball shorts... dumped the streetbike hard and lost the one mirror I had. 19.

 

-Stole license plates from three of Viperslayer?[/member] 's neighbors, one being a brand new tag. 20.

 

-Walked up to a Philly cop at Pride festival with an almost empty can of beer, and asked him where "to get more of this" as I pointed at my beer. He actually helped out me and the group of underage friends I was with. One friend was of age so she hooked us up. :D 20.

 

-Had to be the fucking chauffeur for my own party, was given bad directions, ended up doing a U-turn in front of a toll plaza for the PA Turnpike entrance with 7 people in a K5 Blazer only meant to seat 5. Just turned 21.

 

-Filled an old outside wood stove with wood and gasoline, stuck a match down in through the flue, it went kaboom as I pulled my arm up out. I was at Nautius_Maximus[/member] 's party, so a few board members can attest to this. Oh and DrPheelgood gave ma a blowjob in the vacant apartment downstairs :| 22.

 

-the ONE time I was ever drunk on a boat. I drove, my stepdad had the net, my stepbrother had the fishing pole, our friend Ed had the flashlight. We were in 1-3 foot deep water in the OBX, in a 19' Trophy NOT meant for that so it kept getting stuck and I had to keep lifting the motor and backing up. Luckily it never got permanently stuck. ALL THIS for one odd looking fish that ended up being full of worms. :| 23.

 

-Ripped my Mustang through a recently harvested cornfield when I was 24. I won.

 

-Spun donuts behind my job with 4 coworkers in the Jeep with me, clipped an iced up pile of snow drift-style, cracked my back bumper. 25.

 

-Last year was when I stole the apartment fridge with my golf cart, took Nautius_Maximus[/member] through a cornfield on the golf cart, took my friend drifting and on a 5 mile road trip on the golf cart...

 

-This year was Nauticon... I don't even wanna get into it.  -_'

 

I left out a bunch but I figured I put enough stuff.  >:D

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