Skiles

It's yet another reason I'm so awesome.

Is it a convention that's specifically dedicated to being a weeb? Because that would be kinda funny. Like, it isn't about weeb shit, it's JUST a convention that is about being a weeb.

I got beef with Italy. It runs deep. I can't get into it here, but just know that the beef runs deep. That sounds suggestive.

I would like to be President, but no one would, or should, trust me with the nuclear codes. I'd probably end up being like, "Man, FUCK Italy!" and just bombing the shit out of them.

Customer service jobs would be WAAAAAYYY better if we didn't have to deal with customers the whole time.

Fun fact, "blek" is how Russian people say "black."

That's more common than I would like it to be. I lived in homeless shelters for years. I can't even describe some of the noises dudes make while peeing.

Typical conspiracy theorist.

Every so often, the family members I currently live with make mention of certain things that were easier when I wasn't here. Like how they go through food faster, or that the house is more crowded, that sort of thing. I know they don't mean it in a way that's hurtful, but my depressed brain translates those things to "He is such a burden on our resources and it would be better if he wasn't here." But after temporarily being awash in a sea of shame and guilt and sadness, eventually logical brain kicks in and reminds me I'm being a little bitch. Then I feel better.

I admire your retro funk.

I know you're being facetious, but I stand by my opinions.

I'm still on that smoke signal jam, yo.

A plesiosaur has a long neck so it can please-you. Please-ee-yo... I'm bad at puns.

That's weird to me when I hear people say "cell phone." What are you, 73 years old? Just say phone. Or when people just call it a cell. "I'll put your number in my cell." Okay, sounds good, ancient elder. Sounds good, Mr. I Was Old When This World Was Young. Put it in your cell. In fact, just write it in your address book, sitting by your rotary telephone.

I mean, I don't know about every bag of candy on earth, so I can't say for sure if it is or isn't. However, to me, Kit Kats are fine, Hershey's is weak as fuck, Reese's is the best, and Whoppers are great if you're 78 years old. So this bag is batting .500 for my taste buds.

Dude, nice.

You never forget your first.

Snape kills Dumbledore.

WHATEVER DUDE YOU'RE SUCH A JUDGEY JASON

I love it when you talk dirty to me.

That's a call I can't miss.

But how do I know you're the real mother? I demand a maternity test.

I dunno, that's just the first one that came to mind. I would never jerk off to that. Never...