Skiles

I love wine, but I'm allergic.

I'm gonna watch NXT tomorrow and the HOF thing sometime next week. Mania I'll watch live, even though it's gonna be 83 fucking hours long.

Exactly. Andre the Giant is to Conor McGregor as ass and shit are to butt and poop.

I'll be here all week. I'm the opening act, I'm the closing act, you're gonna leave both times.

Yeah, but ass isn't nearly as funny as butt. Just like poop is way funnier than shit.

Thanks, man. I worked really hard on it.

George Carlin. Mitch Hedberg is right up there with him for me.

But I found a pretty good alternative. "Shush your bush."

Dirty things I say in bed: "Socks!" "Toilet seats!" "Dollar bills!"

Does Akira Toriyama or whatever his name was still compete? he was the shit back in the day.

I knew I never shoulda fucked that windmill.

Dude, I don't agree with anything he stands for personally or politically. Buuuuuuuut he's in the WWE Hall of Fame, so yeah... Voted for him.

Dude, nice.

They're pretty rad.

aahhhhhh i see the funny thing

This is very indirectly related, but I had a bison burger recently. I almost jerked off in the middle of the restaurant because it was so good. Anyway, send me some deer jerky. Just stuff it in an envelope with a few ice cubes and mail it.

Everyone wants to fuck you up, but no one ever wants to fuck you down...

You're not fooling anyone. We know exactly who you are...

I'M AFRAID THERE'S NO TIME FOR PLEASANTRIES. I WOULD LIKE TO PURCHASE MARIJUANA FROM YOU, AND IT WOULD BE IN OUR BEST INTERESTS IF THE AUTHORITIES DO NOT CATCH WIND OF THIS TRANSACTION.

In my imagination, I'm picturing the comic doing a Macho Man diving elbow off of the stage onto the white guy. Don't expound on what actually happened, because I enjoy that imagery.

That's really mean of you to wish that hell on someone.

Yeah, it's crazy. I watched my mom go from relatively healthy to dead within 18 months. Cancer is a fucked up thing. But as long as you're getting checked for the things you need to be checked for, when you're supposed to be checked for them, you have a decent shot.

Oh man, we definitely disagree there. Honestly, every match she's had, at least on PPV, has been anywhere from pretty good to fantastic. She even managed top get a passable match out of Nia Jax, and she's the drizzling shits. Her character is kinda meh, even with the heel turn, but her in-ring work has been pretty damn good, all things considered. Rumors are she might leave, though. Guess she wants to start a family and shit. So you may get your wish.

You drew me in with a duck sound, and then hit me with a cow sound? Wow man, that's a classic bait and switch.

I mean, his career is over... He retired. Ironically, he might end up doing something with WWE. Which would probably suck.