Skiles

You could've just said Cleveland, Ohio. The fear and loathing would've been implied.

Oh shit. Good luck, my dude. I got tested because my aunt had it, and since I live with a 77-year-old with COPD, I have to be safe. Be damned if I'm gonna be the reason she gets sick.

Considering one option was "Show up late and get drunk," which are the two things I've done the most in my life, naturally I picked that one.

Update: The test wasn't really that bad. It felt fucking bizarre, but it didn't hurt. Should have my results this weekend or Monday at the latest.

That's good. Also fuck being a doctor right now. Talk about constant paranoia.

It's all over for me. I'm doomed. Tell my wife I said, "I wish you were real."

Yeah, the test is gonna blow. At least I don't have any symptoms. I felt like ass yesterday, but today I feel great.

Well, someone I live with contracted it, so there is a chance.

Wait, as in you literally administered the test yourself? I hope I don't have to. I don't think I could go far enough in on my own accord.

I mean, it didn't kill me, and it isn't a thing anymore, so it's all good.

Ohhhh okay, so it's a cosmetic thing. Ja feel. I've only ever fallen asleep on my back when I was drunk, and I would always wake up in severe pain, barely able to move. Then again, I have a fucked up back as it is.

Can't wait to have a stranger shove something so far up my nose that I won't be able to count anymore afterwards.

I can't imagine a scenario where one would "have to" sleep on their back or "force" themselves to do so. Do you have a medical condition of some kind? Spine issues? I am befuddled.

Well, since I already posted and fucked up my perfect post count, I'll just say it here. I'm in, boys. Come at the king, you best not miss.

Now all I can think of is that show Bug Juice: Our Summer at Camp. Which feels like a show that I hallucinated. But no, it actually did exist.

Massage videos help me sleep.

I have a VHS of the movie Hook, and I'll give to you if you watch me jerk off.

At LEAST make it a relevant ad, y'know? Throw up an ad for Four Loko. Make it look like I'm secretly schilling for dangerous alcoholic drinks.

I'm all for ads. But in the middle of the post, though?

1. Pull them out 2. Wring out wet sheets onto your body 3. ????? 4. There's no profit here, but at least you'll be cooled down for a little while.

Anything watermelon flavored reminds me of my Four Loko days. I legit used to drink like three a night. Or day. Or both. Even watermelon flavored Jolly Ranchers make me wanna barf.

Sometimes he plays a tough, hot, muscly detective. Sometimes he plays a tough, hot, muscly SWAT guy. And sometimes, he even plays a tough, hot, muscly rapist. 😐

I agree with that in theory. If he's someone with a public platform and see used it to shit on old employers, he put himself in a bad spot. But if what he says happened actually happened, it's still kind of a bitch move on the part of whoever did it.

I feel obliged to make a purchase just for the dedication alone. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY YOU ABSOLUTE MAD LAD

You're the most important thing in my entire life. You know that.