Skiles

Mmm, ooh yeah baby, take off that skin. Let's see some of that sweet hypodermis. 😉

I hate this holiday. I hate this season. I hate this weather. I hate fireworks. Basically, I hate. I HATE.

My jokes are layered. I'm a 7-Layer Burrito™ of comedy.

You decide.

I have a few questions. But the two most important are, 1. Did you live together even though you were split? 2. Did your ex have a key? If the answer to either of these is no, you need to get the fuck out of there. Possibly out of the state. Because that's crazy shit.

Weird, the picture isn't loading for me. Anyway, what about Tom Hanks?

There is no 4th Toy Story movie. What are you talking about?

Well, I know there's a new John Wick movie and a new Godzilla movie out, but I was not aware of a new X-Men movie.

The other two they made were actually really good. It's not often there are two sequels, and both are really good. Actually, the only two instances I can think of are Star Wars and Toy Story. And even Star Wars went and ruined it with the prequels.

They must be playing one of the three Toy Story movies. That's pretty cool.

Here's something stupid I googled very recently: "How to shave with a razor." Yeah. I googled it. I'm 28 years old. But I wanted a tutorial, because I was raised by women and I've only ever shaved with an electric razor. So I didn't know how to do it the old fashioned way. How hard do I push? Do I have to stir up the shaving cream first? Do I go with the grain or against the grain? These are things I never learned. So I, a man approaching 30 years old, had to look it up.

Well, if you already think it's dead, hit it really hard. I did that with a computer mouse recently and it fucking worked. So you never know.

Consider yourself fortunate.

I can only assume that these days, senior proms play nothing but Fetty Wap.

Welp, Zeni's finally gone off the deep end. Somebody call for the men in the white coats.

Ecstatic.

I hit it really hard, several times. Now it works again. Hear that, kids? Don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't make your problems go away by punching them.

I knew you shouldn't have had all that meth.

Fascinating... *eats aforementioned crayons*

Hmm, interesting. *takes notes in crayon on the wall*

Oh sure, so I click on ONE thousand videos of piss porn, and suddenly I'm a heathen!

I see. *scribbles something onto a clipboard that oddly has no paper*

And yes, this question will be on the test.

Well, there were gonna be crazy nerd orgies anyway. If anything this just expedites the process. 👌