Skiles

as he floats through space into the horsehead nebula

I remember the day. August 7, 1982. The day baseball star Jim Rice saved a little kid's life after he got hit by a foul ball. You were jumping up and down because you couldn't believe what you witnessed.

"What's that sound above us?" "The neighbor."

I'm just imagining you like, "Man, I'm out of eggs. Better walk down to the store down the road." And you just parkour over walls and rooftops the whole way for no reason.

Yup, everything checks out here. Better send that thing in. You know... As a precushion.

Getting peed on is nowhere near as foul as that thing. The smell alone... *shudders*

I'm not being sarcastic when I ask this, I'm genuinely curious: Outside of skateboarding, what scenarios do you find yourself in where you're actually jumping?

Not like a startled jump. I mean, when was the last time you actually physically leaped straight up into the air? Do you remember what the reason was?

You know what's fun to do, though? Putting a sad face at the end of every sentence. Even really happy or uplifting sentences. "Wow, great job dude, I'm so proud of you! " I had a really great time last night. "

God, that show was so far ahead of its time comedically.

Nah, he pees on 13 year olds. That's nasty. If I'm gonna piss on someone, I need to see some ID. If you can't drink alcohol, you can't drink my piss.

I can stylize it to P-Brain. Now it sounds like a retarded version of T-Pain.

He's a Simpson. Ever see a guy piss into a girl's pussy while he fucks her?

It was easily the grossest thing I've ever experienced physically. And now, twenty years later, I'm a little bit into the idea of peeing on someone, but consensually, during sexy times. Hi, my name is Skiles, and welcome to today's episode of "Hey, You Shouldn't Say That on A Public Forum"!

The main thing to remember is that whatever you post, make sure to be a loser in real life while you do it.

Exactly. Secluded homes make the best targets because there's less chance of someone witnessing a break-in, and the cops take longer to get there after you commit your crime.

Nah, the thing can't actually be on fire. Then it gets sad.

-nt

Clearly the nicest thing you could do is pee in the bed. And when she wakes up asks what the hell happened, just start crying and saying "I PEEEEED" like a child.

People like to think they're safe in secluded areas, when in reality, they're at least as unsafe.

I should give it a proper burial. Or maybe a viking funeral.

I just lay down in the bathtub and let the chips fall where they may.

Computer mouse, that is. I did the math, and I'm pretty sure we've had that thing for twelve years, dude. Because we had this mouse way back when we had one family computer, and it was running Vista, so that would've been early 2007. We used it for many years, until we got a new computer and a new mouse. Then something got spilled on the new mouse, and we went back to the old one. Since the big split, where we went from all living together to living different places, it's very rarely been used. My gramma and aunt have had iPads, and the kiddos had their own various devices by then. So the computer, along with the mouse, sat idle for several years. Then, in 2016, I lost my wireless mouse when I moved out of where I was living, so I re-adopted the mouse on the computer. It's served me well for the last three years. But now, it won't work. Not on my laptop, not on the old computer. No bueno. It's dead. RIP. I'm legit a little bit bummed. I can just go get a new mouse, obviously. But it is kinda sad.

Just fill up the tub with cold water. Boom, you got yourself a pool in the bathroom.