Skiles

Cleveland?

It's just a little bit of poop. Wipe it off and Febreze it, you'll be fine.

I would actually hate that. I'd rather just stick to wearing a mask around the house and hiding from my family like a troll.

Thanks, buddy. It's a relief, that's for sure. Especially after I was actually sick a week ago, which scared the shit out of me. But all is well.

Preesh!

Thank you, my dude.

I've had that for years. It's stage IV. It's already spread to my butt.

Thanks, man. I can finally go back to not wearing a mask in my own home. It's pretty epic.

No Rona for your boy.

For when you're feeling festive but still wanna eat ass.

It's funny because out of context, it just sounds like someone is giving a pep talk to a deadly disease.

Would've liked to have known that before my fate was sealed.

As long as I don't pass away in the next week or so, I'm in.

Nope, still waiting. I should've gotten the email today, but no dice.

I feel that with my gramma. If my shit comes back positive, I'm literally leaving my house. My cousin will have to step up and help where I normally do around the house, because I'm gonna be out on my own for a while. I can't stay here with it.

Oh what, just because I didn't want them to have my last name? You're STILL holding that against me?!

Jesus dude, you got bopped by every illness on Earth. Hope you're doing better.

We can hope. I'm just tired of wearing a mask in my own God damn house.

Yikes, that sucks, dude. They told me it would be between 48 and 72 hours, as of now, we're in hour 69. Nice.

Psh. My AIDS test came back positive, but it was definitely inaccurate. I think they lied to get me to stop sharing my needles with all my friends and family.

Clearly you've been drinking again. This is why they took our kids away!

I know I'm just being impatient. It should be in tomorrow, if not later today, even. But sheesh. Waiting to hear if you have a disease that could kill people around you is stressful as fuuuuuuck.

At least you attempted to deliver it. I've had so many drivers just never show up. No call or anything. Motherfuckers just making off with my food.

What? I can't not roast other Midwestern cities. Regional rivalries are all we have around here.

Today I cleaned up the dog poop in the yard and then mowed. It was pretty tight.