molarbear

My biggest achievement was popping this weird pimple that developed right where my nose met my face Just happened, it no longer hurts to rub my nose

Moist

@katt_goddess I jokingly searched for pikachu in latex because of your cat woman cosplay and your hat I forgot to turn safe search on and I can't unsee some of the things I saw @Mix always hides most his face so @scoobdog @Admin_Raptorpat

I've never had a problem with coworkers stealing food. At my last job I always bought one of those pre made walmart sandwiches before work and ate those because there isn't much open at 3 am and waffle house doesn't taste nearly as good when you're sober. The funny story behind that is I ate with 4 other coworkers in my little area of the shop. One of them told his wife a guy he worked with ate sandwiches every night (I don't know why that's a bad thing) so she started making extra food for him to bring me, and holy shit could she cook.

I got it all planned out At the debates I'm just going to have a dog sit in for me It's pretty much flawless

Did you build a time machine turn 16 again?

I'm running for President in 2024 My official platform will be building a giant death laser in space that zaps people that don't use turn signals I'm pretty sure my Mom and Dad will vote for me, so I got that going for me

......why does Scorpio have an asterisk next to it?

We had a football game and the field was all wet, a guy hit my knee and my other leg slid so I ended up on my back doing the splits in about .03 of a second To add insult to injury as I was laying there thinking everything down stairs had been ripped apart and my legs were broke, a guy got knocked back and his foot stomped down right on my cup At the time I thought I was dying.....I later found out I had a muscle strain

I missed your B-Day yo! I'm sorry! Happy Birthday!

It's not ageing You just overworked your body more than it's use to being worked, give it a week and you'll be fine

It predates even that rumor has it that one cave drawing illustrates this same technique being pulled off

She must have thought you were the pizza guy

The playground, before Lunch. Ya Jabronie!

I do this daily because I got an Innie

Heathcliff was cooler His intro song was better too

mac n cheese pizza

Luckily the person I take advice from isn't random They're a fucking Prince Mmkay, and they chose me out of the billions of people on this Earth to share their wealth with

I mean, I don't think it's creepy. Next time take mix's advice though, follow her on IG and buy at least $1000 worth of her shower water I've had a couple drinks ^ that is 100% a joke I think a better/modern approach would be "Hey! I think you're cute, can I give you my number?"

You can throw Kris Bryant losing his grievance hearing with the MLB in this bag too Boras has to wait two more years before he can cash in on him as a Free Agent and you know he's going to throw a fit

I don't think this ever goes away Congratulations though!