molarbear

Did you build a time machine turn 16 again?

I'm running for President in 2024 My official platform will be building a giant death laser in space that zaps people that don't use turn signals I'm pretty sure my Mom and Dad will vote for me, so I got that going for me

......why does Scorpio have an asterisk next to it?

We had a football game and the field was all wet, a guy hit my knee and my other leg slid so I ended up on my back doing the splits in about .03 of a second To add insult to injury as I was laying there thinking everything down stairs had been ripped apart and my legs were broke, a guy got knocked back and his foot stomped down right on my cup At the time I thought I was dying.....I later found out I had a muscle strain

I missed your B-Day yo! I'm sorry! Happy Birthday!

It's not ageing You just overworked your body more than it's use to being worked, give it a week and you'll be fine

It predates even that rumor has it that one cave drawing illustrates this same technique being pulled off

She must have thought you were the pizza guy

The playground, before Lunch. Ya Jabronie!

I do this daily because I got an Innie

Heathcliff was cooler His intro song was better too

mac n cheese pizza

Luckily the person I take advice from isn't random They're a fucking Prince Mmkay, and they chose me out of the billions of people on this Earth to share their wealth with

I mean, I don't think it's creepy. Next time take mix's advice though, follow her on IG and buy at least $1000 worth of her shower water I've had a couple drinks ^ that is 100% a joke I think a better/modern approach would be "Hey! I think you're cute, can I give you my number?"

You can throw Kris Bryant losing his grievance hearing with the MLB in this bag too Boras has to wait two more years before he can cash in on him as a Free Agent and you know he's going to throw a fit

I don't think this ever goes away Congratulations though!

Flex Tape!

I noticed that too! I think it was the failed exit attempts, my head hit in the perfect spots

I don't do that right now I worked as a machinist for an oil company when oil was hot, 4 years of hitting overtime pay midway through the week gave me the financial freedom to say "fuck it" and take a few years off

I've been out of practice for awhile due to lack of snow

That's usually how to goes here too

That would be awesome! This was the most snow accumulation we've got in the last 5 years, I think it's suppose to be back in the 60's on Friday

I want all the snow!

IT SNOWED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!