molarbear

I imagine they're like any parasite that's after blood, their victim doesn't matter. They just want that blood source yo

While I appreciate your response, I think he should take a more Van Gogh approach. Remove thy foreskin and send it in a package to them +10 DEX if you don't have one and must remove some of the head. Just do it like a fillet cut, right down the middle so when you pee you can send them a video of your dick looking like it's saying "FEED ME SEYMOUR" when you pee and your penis flaps go "PEW PEW PEW" in the wind

That sounds like it would be very aesthetically pleasing job minus the bites

I just saying, I've tried Saline spray, putting little bits of vaseline up my nose, bought a little humidifier... and my nose still bleeds At this point I'm not ruling out developing a Cocaine habit to at least have some sort of excuse

Only if you guarantee to give someone named Cerberalbore shit everyday upon take over..... this is kind of important

Not small amounts of water

Could be death or death, just go see a Doctor I wouldn't be Googling this shit if I could go see a Doctor without paying out the ass This is the time we need to push for Canada to come up with their own version of MapleMD. You pay $1 and they give you medical advice that's more appropriate and not "Death" for every medical question.... that or at least we get a "Thank you" or "Sorry" when they tell you

did you do that Street Fighter combo where your leg gets really long and kick him in the coin purse?

"I peaked in Middle School" -Me everyday of my Life

I laughed so hard I had to grab a tissue and clean my face off

That U2 song from the soundtrack was pretty awesome for like 3 months

WRONG! It's going to be a combination of hair from my stomach and the weird hairs on my feet, I'm going to name the beard "Spaghetti"

What you people don't know is I got hair plugs on my face, I'm emerging from this thing with a beard that would rival Darwin's It's definitely not going to be all the hair from my head glued to my face so we can just go ahead and throw that theory out

Really? No one with the clutch "Real Monsters" response?

Did it steal your Tootsie Pop after claiming to inform you on how many licks it took to get to the center of it and then just chomp it?

I'm at that point of the night where I've had enough drinks to just let my brain go. The next one I'll be pretty decent at video games, and any drinks after that I quickly descend into not being able to multi task at all and watching a shit ton of animal videos on youtube

Fast Forward to 40 years in the future, The Rock is on his death bed Science still hasn't found a cure for your giant penis-itis and you accidentally get a boner one day and the blood can't get back to your brain fast enough giving you only 10 days to live Make a Wish makes an exception for you even though you're old as balls and you roll your modified wheel chair with a wheel barrel attached to front into The Rocks room Mix- "WTF WERE YOU COOKING ALL THESE YEARS?" The Rock- "Come closer" Due to your awkward dimensions of your wheel chair they have to move The Rock's bed sideways so this is possible *The Rock struggles to lift his head to your ear The Rock- "Closer." *You then move within awkwardly close distance of an old person where your ear is like a mil inch from that weird white stuff they have on the corners of their mouth The Rock- "You" His Hospital bed suddenly starts whirring and moving back and forth across the room rapidly and then he proceeds to People's Elbow you The Nurses help him back onto his bed at which point he hits a green button (Jurassic Park style) too weak to do the eyebrow raise and having planned for it, a robotic arm comes out of the bed and tapes one of his eyebrows up, the bed then shoots out the window while fireworks begin shooting out from it in mass display of awesome. The Rock planned to splat into the building next door, and he dies on impact, but he doesn't splat, no. He's still so massive he's shoots through the cheaply contracted wall, and through at least 2-3 more floors before finally coming to a rest on the new interns desk I'm going to be honest, I lost my train of thought after the first sentence