molarbear

your link is broken buddy

nah I just live in the Bible Belt and they built a mega church like a mile away that is one of those "progressive" churches that blast life music so every Sunday and Wednesday the bass is so loud it rattles my house. On the plus side sometimes when they start up I can sleep through it and I have dreams that I'm in a Mad Max scenario and they're the war drums playing

Cake delivery failed on a Cosmic level The World needs a 911 esque number for Neil deGrasse Tyson for situations like this. like "yo dude! tell us how to send cake through a computer NOOOOOWWWW!" It's a white lie for comedic purposes, kind of like in the Dodgeball thread where I said my throw was like psionic laser blast

I need you to read this very closely and pay attention... you need to take a piece of said chocolate cake and jab it into the ethernet cable... it's probably not going to work but if it somehow sends me the cake that would be awesome! The couch wasn't set on fire, it's 100% safe and still as fluffy and as ever.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!! I had a steak, a potato, and a cabbage roll and then I set a church on fire started drinking >.>

Puppers definitely. I'd like to think squirrels too. I always go out of my way to not hit them when they run in front of my car and I like to think that's going to pay off someday. I like to picture myself in a pickle, most likely being held at gun point and right before the bad guy pulls the trigger this giant army of squirrels show up and maul all the bad guys and then the icing on the cake one squirrel runs up and chirps at me while sticking his little paw out.... and then I fist bump a fucking squirrel

I played baseball most my life so I was pretty ok at dodgeball They use to separate the boys from the girls when we played dodgeball except for one time and I got pegged in the nuts so I was pretty angry so when I got a ball again I got a 6 foot crow hop and launched a god damn psionic laser blast at the head of the kid that did it. The only problem was this girl that got hit and was making her way out of the game walked directly into the path of said flaming hurricane of death and her head exploded. ok... so I made the head exploding part up but her glasses flew off and she started crying and I felt really bad

I've said for years that Dance fighting is no joke

I read "Cat" as "Car" when I initially clicked on this thread I was really looking forward to figuring out how car beds worked......

DILLY DILLY!

I always use the enlarged Eagles to escape shit.

Thank you all for confirming i'm not losing my mind. I seriously thought I was losing my shit when I saw this Dog and thought "This looks like Winston Churchill!" kinda like this

I got your back. I'm very good at getting heavily intoxicated and avoiding captivity. Just ask Bigfoot........ you can't because Bigfoots are naturally blurry and elusive AF, all thanks to my guidance.

That stuff is good

You should buy a 12 gauge and some bird shot. Then when he asks what you bought it for say it's for the dick of the next person that causes your Mother to fall into a door frame.

That's the yellow stuff that looks like jello but is nothing like it at all, right?

EXACTLY! I mean lighting, explosions and all. You're probably going to have to hire people to carry all that stuff around for you.

If they ask what kind of history you should totally drop "history of your mom brah "

or does this Dog look like Winston Churchill? For the record this is from Imgur and the Doggo was adopted.

It's either that or some strange fungal colony that has manifested from all the mystic tan on him that he just claims is hair.

I have a few theories on the subject. The strongest one is that he actually only has 8 really, really long hairs that he then spends hours each morning crafting into place