molarbear

I'm not sure if you're aware of this but you have two pairs of glasses on you

sneezes in a row I'm convinced at this point that my body assumes that oxygen is some kind of allergen and declaring war against it

I had my fingers crossed

I told you not to try fucking it

What do you think Daniel Tosh's favorite type of sandwich is?

You had a massive pimple in that photo and I was trying to not embarrass you Also when did you marry my friend?

Yes

It's a great song to brush your teeth to in the morning

I am, I think that joke went over your head

I have no fucking idea I just call her "pupper" most the time

This thread subject is so wholesome but I find myself wanting to make a "Lennie" joke here

She's my Brother's Girlfriend's Pupper, she gnaws on people but doesn't actually bite you basically she's does a 60 year old gummer on yo hand but she has teeth I present to everyone, and beseech the members of the 3am Society! To accept Pupper number 3 in my life. Her Name is Arayu, and I'm pretty sure I'm in love with this Dog

YOU FUCKING HO! I thought this was a Monogamous relationship..... I want the $2 and pocket lint I paid you for guaranteed toilet bowl crown back

I hope you get to feeling better Hope they gave you your own room, it makes staying overnight not as terrible

He's got a fancy mustache

I only poop when I tweet

12/10 would pet

Their bullpen is trash -fin 10 games above .500 and were in first place two days ago Got swept by the Phillies

Not the Fucking Cubs who's bullpen blew a 5-1 lead in the bottom of the 9th tonight

I got the night shift covered

Improve them fool! Boast about stupid shit no one gives a fuck about, then lace them with some kind of fuel, bait people in. Complain about getting fired/laid off for the upteenth time in like 4 days while you get a promotion 3 days later These are Algorithms. Meet the needs of the Demanding, not the few

As someone who has taken some Engineering classes previously, I can confirm that there are some people out there who think they're the cock of the walk because they can do slightly advanced math If you're ok at math you'll be fine as long as you put the work in

That's pretty badass