SwimModSponges

Is this where I apply for modhood? Because I'd like mod powers.

I'm very sleepy. I think I may be coming down with something.

"Oh god, morning again. better shamble to the closet and get dressed." *gets dressed* "Oh shit, did I shower yet?" *touches hair* "I did not. Ah fuck it, I'm clean enough. I need to get me some cereal."

I highly recommend spending all day jacking off to porn.

Grandma on my dad's side went crazy and died about 5-10 years back now. Grandpa on dad's side is still alive to the best of my knowledge. Grandma on my mom's side is still alive, still working a shit job at the birdseed factory, and still smoking like a chimney. Not sure on the status of my grandpa on my moms side, never really have been. From what i understand, he's all about horses and being a Jehovah's whiteness, and was, back in the day, a terrible person.

He says "Your sandwiches are delicious, but you always over-fill them. Would it be possible to get a sandwich with less filling?" The person behind the counter says "No, infortunately it's company policy to make the sandwiches to these exact specifications." Well the man looks him right in the eye and pleads; "Come on man, meat me half way."

i have boxers from 2006-2007. theyre pretty tight.

Devouring the world at a more efficient pace.

BattleZone II, Combat Commander. Game was equal parts fps, rts, and scifi fun. It was wonderful.

River dolphins are in the rivers in the jungle. They're still underwater, they're still living in an aquatic biome.

no, well i mean if the situation is applicable, maybe? To be a dolphin in the jungle is to be an intelligent and self-aware being, perfectly suited towards the environment in which you evolved; placed into an entirely seperate environment in which your adaptations, though impressive, are theoretically useless in the new context. Echolocation and a sleek body for cutting through the water do you no good when theres nothing around you but trees and leopards. you ever feel like that?

I could sure go for a dolphin in the jungle right about now.

People who say there are only two genders are idiots. Some folks are born with both sets of genitals, some folks arent born with any working genitals. some folks are born without the ability to critically examine the positions on an issue and just spout out memes theyce heard as if theyre orifinal thoughts. The point is we shouldn't judge folks.

Beer is good, but Budweiser is hardly beer.

It's actually a lot worse than that. A lot worse.

One of my coworkers has read two of them, and another two started but stopped when they got to the dinosaur rape.

No but my voice did crack slightly. Stronger than tears.

Oh you know, my standard schtick about getting hit by a semi, spending a week in a coma, and learning to walk again. It tugs at the heart strings.

Goddamn right I got skills, because I got the promotion today. Hooray me!

Dan Aykroyd's Cobra

The other day I got out of the shower and realized I forgot to grab a bath towel. Used a hand towel instead. Worked well.

Meth. For real though, I can cook most things. I don't enjoy it, but I'mm fairly adept at it.