nameraka

this is the only thing of value i own...

not happening. nope. sorry body, you gonna lose this one. *sneeezes*

i know...

i'll notice. but i'll probably disappear shortly thereafter. and no one will notice.

this is critical: what kind? and you better not say plain yellow...

condiments?

america now sucks ever so slightly less i suppose. https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2018/nov/16/billy-idol-white-wedding-rocker-granted-us-citizen/

where's pod 6?

holy shit! we have a locker? what the fuck else have i been keeping from me?

i'm a firm believer in people feeling completely comfortable before coming forward with their sexuality. i don't feel comfortable outing him like that. now seriously, where is he?

Heartburn

Waits patiently for you to ask questions

Holy shit! What the hell did we do with Steve then?

Are you sure? I always thought Steve was straight... Also that doesn't answer my question.

And what have you done with Steve?

married someone 4 years younger also the youngest i ever dated if i wasn't married... maybe ten years either direction? unless i was a vampire. then it wouldn't matter. also, i wouldn't pay taxes. because, fuck that. i'm a goddamn vampire.

i mean you can't just drink crystal pepsi without training you could die...

uh. because you all need the training?

uh well here's the crystal pepsi employee training video, so...

nothing. that's the problem.

it's not whether i win or lose...

i get choked up every time i watch this.

Do any of said reports include death? 'cause the flu can give you that...