nameraka

6/10.

only the most dangerous game.

like 3 or 4.

age of consent. just because.

i'm a big joy division fan, but if i'm being honest with myself i just find new order more enjoyable to listen to...

i will now forever picture your asshole as dennis leary.

you bastard. i didn't get it until highschool. by then i was so sexually frustrated i was actually asking out real girls.

did i say greatest of all time? i meant greatest martial arts movie of the 1980's to prominently feature breakdancing and a former prince protege. honest mistake...

if netflix did porn, they would want to make their own and it would likely be terrible.

i don't doubt it. it was a sleazy kind of gas station. and who puts fog machines and black lights under the slushy machine?

https://kutv.com/news/nation-world/teen-girl-dressed-as-clown-stabbed-lover-five-times-during-sex

sho nuff...

no. italian club. i'm not sure what they meant by club.

you don't want mine. it was bad. gas station bad...

thank god...

sadly, i was eating in my car. will make mental note to keep hot sauce in car.

well just plagiarize this one, then. “I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook 30-minute brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello. I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I’m bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don’t perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life, but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis. But, I have not yet gone to college.”

hey, you were lucky all i had was the goddamn sears catalog

why bother? everyone just plagiarizes once they get there anyway...

mine too i blame you give me some of your whiskey

maybe santa will bring you a new job this year?

booze, making the holidays tolerable since forever...

what the fuck are you thankful for this goddamn year? like anyone fucking cares...

It's not good. Don't ask.

yeah. same problem...