EmpressAngel

Juuust gonna go ahead and post this every week for the rest of the show.

Man, I wish I had so little to worry about in my life that I can spend weeks on a third-rate message board focusing on a cartoon that comes on at two in the fucking morning not airing anymore. I'm genuinely happy for you, buddy.

Wait what? I haven't heard anything about part 3 since they dubbed the first couple episodes a few years ago.

Jack- I'm cool with this replacing Aku's old intro but I miss the song at the start. That's also how I feel every morning, Aku. Oh lord his eyebrows. Things ain't gonna end well for the mud people. You feeling okay, buddy? Okay therapist Aku is amazing. DIIIIIIIIIIIE. Dude you've been sending out people to work on that problem for 50 years now. Hi doggie! Hi tigers! Time to spear some shit. Great job science dudes, you made it a bigger and easier target for him. Nooo not the bike. Noooo not the beard. I'm glad they're continuing the proud tradition of Jack getting his clothes damaged off. Oh no doggie's hurt. Someone give Jack a hug. Where's the Scotsman to give him a pep talk when he needs it. Don't trust that demon guy on the horse. Surprise it's not a robot it's a gang of love-starved teenage girls that I'm adopting. Girls just leave Jack alone he's had a rough day. Oh no don't follow that bug. GODDAMIT KIDS ALL OF YOU ARE GROUNDED. Well this looks ominous. I just want Jack to be happy, show. I will accept more clothing damage for the moment. Punch her in the tits! Jesus christ, Genndy is not fucking around here. Jojo- Joseph's muscles are so big that my boyfriend curse bounced right off of those amazing goddamn abs and hit the next buffest thing. KICK THEIR SHIT. Oh god the clackers are back. What in the shit. Nooo the clackers. No seriously, what the fuck is this. Beat his ass, Lisa Lisa. Holding her would be worth the painful death. God I love my wife. No baby that's stupid drink it now. Awww they really did love each other. Fuck you, Wammu. Fight me I'd be amazing at Hamon, under my massive boobs are a set of lungs as big as my massive boobs. Well that's super goddamn creepy. FIGHT ME, KARS. I'm pretty sure Lisa Lisa could take them all out with a sneeze. I'm always in the mood for you, baby. Oh my god you giant dork I'm gonna fuck you. I'm going to marry her. Really should have just set the whole building on fire. That sounds romantic, Jojo should blow it off and go out with me instead. Okay don't blow it off, save my wife. Oh right there's that other guy I forgot about him. And I just want you to destroy my fucking pelvis, Joseph. Just take me now, you beautiful goddamn pervert. Wait what. Ohhh shit she's his mom. Oh gross, he was looking at his mom naked. Thank god he's pretty. Well Straitzo was a douchewad who attacked Speedwagon and tried to kill your only child so it's not really that complicated. DEMON HORSES. Please tell me Joseph has to wear that outfit too. Good horsepires. STRIP FOR ME, BABY. Somehow he just leveled up and got even hotter. Aww, I was hoping they'd keep Caesar in the Roundabout. Gundam- Recap all you want, I still can't pay attention to this franchise when there's not shirtless jailbait running around. Just leave this kid in the desert to die. I also don't gve a shit what's in the box. Cry harder, you whiny brat. I am still eternally disappointed about Full Frontal's name. These seem like impractical places to stash robots. Oh hey, blond kid's still alive. And then my stream crashed, because not even my video player cares enough to pay attention. Hunter- Daaaamn, Boobs is looking good in that dress. Yeah this seems like a good idea. Literal finger guns. Protect those boobs at all costs! Whelp so much for those guys. Quick, make out with that girl. THIS IS BULLSHIT BOOBS JUST GOT HERE. I had to watch Pig Fucker shit up the screen for months at a time, but the great rack is dead after like three episodes. That thing looks like the vacuum from Teletubbies. Nice job being stealthy, dude. Just blame Hisoka, always blame Hisoka. How does nobody notice the giant goddamn hot air balloon above them. JUST BLAME HISOKA, ALWAYS BLAME HISOKA. God you're edgy, dude. Probably should have beefed up security for the super mob auction regardless if you expected a rumble or not. This fight is not gonna end well. Never fight Patrick Seitz you cannot win. Ouuuuch. WEREWOLF ATTACK. Okay that rock throw was seriously impressive. Good job, you're all going to die. Uhh that one guy can literally rewrite reality, just have him haiku up a weakness. We belong to whichever family is gonna keep you from killing us. Jesus they're like the monsters from Hellraiser. Naruto- I know eventually this filler's gonna end and I won't be able to spend this time rewatching Jojo and fawning over those ridiculous gorgeous muscles, so I'm just gonna enjoy it as long as it lasts. One Piece- At least the final episode isn't Foxy. I love Brook so much. I hope that journal says a lot about Luffy's hot brother. I LOVE BROOK SO MUCH. I'm gonna hug that skeleton he's so precious. Dude you're gonna learn to enjoy any peace and quiet you get on this ship. Oh noooo the dishes. I like how their fridge has a lock because of Luffy. Brook and Jojo would be good friends. Daaaang Nami is rocking those glasses. OH NOOOO THE MAP. Poor Brook come here let me hug you. Chopper's workin' on some dank weed. This is not gonna end well. Oh nooo the weapon. Maybe you shouldn't keep the soy sauce right next to the soda. At least Luffy is happy. Meanwhile, Zoro works out. Nah bro let's just sit here and admire Zoro for awhile. Brook you don't have a dick how does that even work. Robin is the best and I love her. SKULLBRO IS SO SWEET I'M CRYING. Okay group hug, both of you. Awwwww Luffy. I love them all so much. Stop showing me the sad backstory, goddammit! This is the best crew. Just when I thought we were done with this song. Sing along, you all know the words by now! This was a good episode to end on.

Somehow he just leveled up and got even hotter.

He did have siblings, at least one of those Zeppeli kids is bound to procreate. Still with that track record it's probably best if they stay very far away from the Joestar group.

MRW I'm trying to control my desperate thirst out of respect for the dead guy.

The other day at work I was sorting through some books and pulled out two together titled "The Italian" and "Gone". I was not amused.

Here ya go, champ.

I am convinced this entire series is just a convoluted plot to seduce me. It's working.

I'll watch it alone Already know some spoilers Hi sexy grandpa <3

By far, the only fuckable one.

But what will you whine about nonstop now?

Plot twist that's why he hit on so many women, because deep down he knew his family never survives hanging out with the Joestars. That last day before Jojo showed up was just a marathon of him banging cute tourist girls. I mean he's not as hot as Joseph but I'd plow that like a fall harvest.

Jojo is so buff My boyfriend curse bounced off him And took out Caesar

WHY CAN'T I HAVE NICE THINGS, SHOW Jack- I feel like a kid again only this time I have an amazing rack. Oh this is depressing. Who's this guy is that Jack. I do enjoy seeing those bugbots get destroyed. IT'S JACK AND HE'S GOT A COOL BEARD. Poor Jack come here let me hug you. Well this is an uncomfortable maternity ward. Aku's broodmare seems like a pretty rough career path, lady. I'm digging that Mad Max look he's got going on. Oh that's a punch right to the gut. And then nightmares forever. Mmmm, fried rat. For the love of god somebody hug Jack. Poor kids this cult seems like a bad idea. Run away, little girl! Fuck you lady, I'm that kid's mother now. Leave my daughter alone she's doing her best. So did Aku fuck that lady or what. Robot ninja! Oh god he sounds like Snagglepuss. Okay I like this robot guy. WHIP IT OUT! Ohhhh that is not a good thing. Sweet flute, bro. Kick his ass, Jack! Jack might need some therapy. RIP flute. Oh my god I'm cracking up. I want him to fight Brook. Don't fuck with Jack. Look at my girl go I'm so proud of her. I can't stop smiling. Jojo- I will be absolutely floored if Caesar makes it out of this tragic backstory episode alive. Dang Caesar's dad was hot. Wow that's depressing as shit. I love how dudes in this show rip their clothes off when they get mad. WRENCH FIGHT. Oh shit it's the pillar men. So then, all of this was Caesar's fault. Okay so what happened to his siblings? Well I was already comforting Joseph after last week but shit, you can put your face in my boobs too. Someone give that boy a hug. Awwww they're friends. Oh this can't be good. What the fuck is that. I love this narrator. Fuck you, Wammu. Whelp so much for that guy. Wow what a shock this was a trap. Jojo's staying the hell out of this, in the smartest move he's ever made. Yeah sure that sounds like science. Good luck, buddy. FUCK YEAH, CAESAR. This is going surprisingly well-aww fuck I spoke too soon. HEY KOOL-AID MAN. Ohhhh you are walking right into a fucking trap, my dude. Oh hey that guy's not dead. Hey look, an arm. I got a real bad feeling about this. Yeah sure this sounds like more science. DISCO MUSCLE BUBBLES. Oh goddammit Caesar you're fucked. I make a couple jokes about banging a dude and the grim reaper strolls in to fuck up the day, it's like clockwork. Caesarino you should really get out of there. STAIRS. Caesar no, just run. Aww he grabbed the ring for Jojo. Aaaaaand I'm crying. Hey guys maybe you could do something instead of standing outside. Eww blood bubble. DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT BUBBLE, YOU FUCKER. I hope your life is only like two more days you piece of shit. Congratulations Jojo I'm pretty sure in some cultures this means you're married. Poor baby come here put your face in my boobs and we'll cry together. Meanwhile nobody gives a shit about that other guy who died. Come here Lisa Lisa let me hug you and we'll cry together. Ohhh fuck you, show. Joseph's so buff my curse bounced right off those pecs and took out the next hottest thing. Hold me in those incredible goddamn arms while I weep, Jojo. :( Gundam- Yeah I was too busy crying to pay much attention to the first half of this. I don't like this blond kid's odds. Every week I think that lady died and I keep being proven wrong. This was a real bad week to throw an episode with like 80% conversations at me. Meanwhile, Benedryl sucks and fails. Hunter- Aw crap they took out that explanation intro and I'm too dumb to remember it. Spend all your money! I use my phone almost entirely for crappy games and porn. Hiiii hot idiot! I'll taste you, baby. Youuuu beautiful moron. Ask the idiot to whore himself out for your money. Haaa the Google knockoff. Meanwhile, weeb time. Oh is it their sexy dad again? FUCK THE AUCTIONEER, HOT MAN. I'm pretty sure Boobs won't have any trouble making friends. Gon is so cute I love him. I'm surprised Gon didn't break the damn table. I'm sure Gon could do a couple hundred thousand rounds. This girl's gonna kick his ass. That went surprisingly well. My left hand is also incredibly strong from jerkin' it to Jojo. Go away Hisoka nobody likes you. Mole girl is nice I like her. PLAY FREEBIRD. I'm already cursed lemme hear it. Wow that was a rough day. Hug that mole girl. Naruto- Man, it really doesn't end well whenever Caesar's family hangs out with the Joestars. One Piece- Nope, not even its imminent retirement could get me to watch Foxy filler.

Hold me in those incredible goddamn arms while I sob, Jojo. :(

"Only"

NICE

Dude I sleep with an Ace body pillow at night. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Here's Nami's boobs. Whelp, time to skip ahead to the next time Ace shows up and try to masturbate around the brutal fights.

It's me, falling deeper into the madness of cartoon dick thirst.

God exists, and he truly hates me in particular.