EmpressAngel

I don't know why Caesar's dressed like a hooker, but I can get behind it.

I'm jacking it to hentai right now.

Sister got me to finally marathon Stranger Things. Spoiler alert I'm gonna fuck Hopper. <3

Y'all, Smokey explained it outright a couple episodes ago. "Granny Erina lost her husband in an accident at sea. She was pregnant with a son at the time. When he grew up, he married a girl who had also survived the wreck. They were Jojo's parents." There ya go. Jojo 1.5 was Jojo 1's biological child, and the baby Erina saved was a girl who eventually married into the family. I just figured Erina returned the kid to any surviving family after they escaped, or let her be adopted by someone else since being a grieving widow plus a disaster survivor plus pregnant plus dealing with a random infant was probably too much to deal with at once.

Because I'm not allowed to have nice things, and damn right I am.

I like my posts. I don't want them getting deleted because some pissbaby throws a tantrum and wipes every disagreement from his thread. Ignoring that person in the future wouldn't bring back the posts he trashes. I'm guessing a lot of people who dislike the idea feel a similar way.

Jojo- Squid pasta sounds gross. Just keep slurpin, baby. Oh lord what the hell. I'm with Jojo this is cheesy as fuck. Well that did not go as planned. Wait what is that sandwich guy's grandkid or something? Speedwagon is just a gift to mankind. I don't like that snake's odds. Aw fuck he's still not dead. Aw shit there's four of them that's a problem. I'm with Jojo and his pigeon friends. I was expecting to hate him on basis of being Papenbook but with that accent I could still totally get on board here. How dare you Jojo is amazing and you're hurting Speedwagon's feelings. KICK HIS ASS BABY. You could thrash me, baby. That's okay I still love you. Jesus what a dick. Your power is bubbles that's nothing to be proud of. Oh he's dirty alright. PIGEON ATTACK. Oh my god that is the best attack. I do like his fancy bandana. Don't fight you're both cheaters. I like his sexy belly shirt. Too many goddamn Germans. Ohhhh that cannot be good. Just fuck already, you two. Caesar's gonna fuck your girfriend. Oh no that random guy is definitely gonna die. MAMA MIA. Yes I'm his girlfriend and I want to date him. Yeah great idea just put your face right up in there. AW SHIT. This is not gonna be a good thing. He's so graceful. And then everyone died. Jesus christ what the fuck. Awwww fuck it's all three of them at once. No you're wrong you really should have killed them all when you had the chance. GODDAMN ZUBATS. Oh no I wish it was goddamn zubats. Wow what a shock that guy died. Sooo then, your girlfriend's single now. Everyone remember, the first priority is to protect Speedwagon at all costs. Ass. I don't like this plan at all. Master ACDC? Aw hell are they looking for the Philosopher's Stone. Well that's a nifty power. FIGHTING SPIRIT. At least this guy seems decent for a 2000-year old humanoid abomination. Whelp things sure suck for Mark. At least he gets to die nestled in Caesar's cleavage. Oh don't worry, he was gonna nail your girlfriend regardless of how this mission went. This is gonna be fun. The good news is despite Papenbook, I like Caesar; the bad news is that I know my track record and that means he's going to die. Gundam- I still don't know what the plastic box is. I still don't like these kids. Surprise, the pilot's an unconscious kid. Yay BB-8's here. No it doesn't count, none of your lives mean anything. Nepotism is always an easy explanation. Why does the hospital waiting room look like a strip club? Oh this guy is definitely gonna die. This show is a lot harder to pay attention to when there's not shirtless jailbait running around. Howdy, princess. I still cannot keep track of a single fight in this franchise. Hunter- STILL DIDN'T NEED TO SEE THAT, SHOW. Kick his ass Gon! Who's this weirdo. Oh no I'm afraid for him. Ohhh right that was a thing. He's sooooo creepy. I need an adult. Okay you should probably just forfeit now before he kills you. I don't like watching the adorable children get hurt in this show. I NEED AN ADULT. What power do you use to call the cops on the obvious pedophile. Gon might be dead. I am very uncomfortable with this fight. Hisoka is just the fucking worse. I cannot cringe any harder than I am right now. I NEED AN ADULT RIGHT NOW. No seriously, what the fucking fuck show. NO MEANS NO, CLOWN. Please god just end this fight now. This ref is bullshit. Whelp, that was a thing. I hope they made him take that gum off him. Don't worry, one day you'll age out of his fetish. Surprisingly responsible referee. I learned nothing from that fight except that Hisoka is soooo much creepier than I thought. Bye Zushi! Oh good something not ungodly creepy. Naruto- Use the annoying girl as a human shield. You can go ahead and kill 3/4 of them, rap man. Fuck you Sasuke. That's more swords than Zoro. Oh what the hell they are just going out of their way to not let Travis talk. Huh, that was like three minutes where the show wasn't goddamn terrible. I hate that girl so, so much. Sasuke also makes me need to drink, buddy. Giant boyfriend, being the only fucking competent one here. I think his location is right in front of you. I do love seeing Sasuke get punched. Quick, just put him out of his misery. Oh hey, he actually gets to do something for once. Gaaaaaay. That sure is a thing alright. Oh what the hell show I can't use this I'm not Hisoka. Oh right that guy can do water stuff. Throw Sasuke's corpse at him and run. How did nobody notice this fight going on before now? Sasuke is the fucking worst. I feel like you dumb shits could have saved a lot of trouble by just doing that earlier. Yes, leave her to die! This is the worst team. Thanks for any kind of help, guards. I can't really call an episode of Naruto good, but this was definitely less terrible than usual until Sasuke pulled a win out of his ass. One Piece- Eat a dick, Kuma. Thriller Bark might be dead. Well that's unsettling. Hey, y'all okay? Please don't hurt Luffy. Oh hey Zoro's alright. That's not a normal arm. Ohh that's probably bad news. Zoro's having a rough day. Yeah that's all you have in common, Franky's a good person. That sure is an ironic name for a giant murder cyborg. That guy sounds smart. Take your compromise and shove it up your ass. Awwww Zoro come here let me hug you. Oh hey Sanji's alive too. Awwww Sanji come here let me hug you. This is downright heartwarming, you guys. Don't fight you can both selflessly sacrifice yourselves for your crew. Or Zoro could just knock him the fuck out. I'm surprised he has that much honor. Oh no I don't like the sound of that. Ohhhhh nooooooo I really don't like the sound of that. It hurts just watching that. This miiiiight have been a bad idea. What the hell is this music. And that's how Zoro died. Oh hey, everybody lived. Well hey, technically you won. Uhhhh guys where's Zoro. Oh fuck that looks painful.

If Ace's pants don't burn off every time he uses his powers, Kuma can probably shrug off his own attacks without a problem.

Jojo- I'd definitely just let the dude eat all the Nazis. Damn those sweet buff guns. Oh my god I love him so much. I'll make love to you, baby. He's got a point, somebody who kills a bunch of Nazis can't be all bad. Well that didn't work. Aw fuck he's got a gun. Use the Nazi as bait and escape with Speedwagon! Ohhhh that is not how ribs are supposed to work. FIGHTIN' RIBS. Sounds like somebody's got a crush. DON'T TOUCH SPEEDWAGON YOU BASTARD. He talks like William Shatner. Okay this fight definitely could be going better. Aw shit I hope that wasn't his jackoff arm. False alarm! Oh my god you giant dork. I'll blow your fish, baby. Seriously though, use the Nazi as a meatshield and run. Aim for his dick! Why does everything I love die. FUCK YEAH, JOJO. There's a joke about him being deep in another man here, but it feels almost too easy. Well that sounds horrifying. Do something to help, you Nazi bastard. Oh please don't tell me it's night time. Ohh this is not good. Oh god these attacks are beautiful. Nazi to the rescue, I guess? Whelp this guy was completely useless. I would definitely chop off a Nazi's leg, no questions asked. This fucking show. Oh thank god it's daylight. EAT SUN, DOUCHE. Oh what the hell now. Aw fuck. This is the weirdest gay porn. I am completely okay with the Nazi blowing himself up. Aw hell the other pillar is Dio isn't it. Who does Speedwagon know is it the little kid from back in the day? DO IT, NAZI FUCKER. Punch him in the dick! Aw good, a happy ending. I am 100% sure that Dio is still around and just waiting behind a corner to fuck everything up when I least expect it. Gundam- I'm actually grateful for this recap because I can't be assed to remember anything. I have no interest in these kids or their problems. Sorry Hermione but your friends are dead. I only care about BB-8 here. And then Benedryl stumbled ass-first into a mecha of his own. TO PROTECT THE WORLD FROM DEVESTATION-wait wrong show. Surprise, it's your dad! Surprise, your dad's dead. Get in the robot, Shinji. I like the Metapod airbag. I can never keep track of any of the fights in this franchise. Does every show in this franchise have a blond dude in a shitty mask? At least he got to have a cool eyepatch back then. Hunter- Gon you really don't wanna be alone with Hisoka. It's been four seconds and I've already forgotten these categories. What you're saying is he sucked and failed. I hope that glass is full of vodka because I'm gonna need it for the next show. Killua's gonna destroy the whole damn glass isn't he. You turned it into vodka! Congratulations you're an alchemist. Of all the bare asses I would have liked to see tonight, Hisoka was definitely not one of them. Killua's gonna make me a cocktail. Careful kiddo don't burst a blood vessel. MY TABLE. Zushi you're like seven you've got plenty of time. Oh right there was a second part of the exam. Oh hey it's the old guy. Just try not to kill anybody next time. Where is the hot idiot. Hiii hot idiot. "Eat shit, Zushi." This is straight out of a WWE match. He's so goddamnn creepy. I really didn't need to see that, show. Punch him in his creepy clown dick! Jesus he's like a monkey on crack. Damn, I'm impressed. FUCK YEAH PUNCH HIS STUPID FACE. Naruto- Still don't care, show. Fuck off, Sasuke. Fuck off, orange boy. Oh hey he's got a face. Finally, the one guy I can jack it to. The answer is to just kill everyone. More Travis, I can get behind this. I'm surprised they had a robe big enough to fit my giant boyfriend. God that girl is just embarrassing. I'll control you, baby. Oh who the fuck is this. This sure is a thing alright. Good job boyfriend you tried. This guy is like Champloo but with a severe head injury. One Piece- Good luck, Zoro. Okay that is a really dorky name for a freaky power. Man, y'all can't catch a break. Aim for his bible, that's his weak spot! Haaa you dorks. Quiet Usopp, bones are for the weak. You never wanna get fisted by a Jahova's Witness. Well this could be going better. Robin that's adorable. Okay don't insult the kitten hands, advice noted. Ohhh this can't be good. Zoro's got some sweetass dance movies. Zoro's kinda having a rough day. Sanji to the rescue! Orrr, Sanji breaking his goddamn femur. You must be confused, that's not Sniper King. New plan, hit him as hard as you can in the dick and run like hell. I don't know science but that's probably a bad thing. Oh you piece of shit. You're all good people. I like that Robin's reaction looks like she just heard a mildly disappointing weather report. And then they all died.

You know how whenever someone makes a shitty joke about Kubo's health, you point out that it's rude and inappropriate? I guess you only apply that for the authors you personally enjoy.

I'm sure Oda cares very much, as he nails his hot wife on a bed made out of several million dollars.

I like a woman who can kick my ass.

Speak for yourself I will absolutely still hit that, dress and all.

So what you're saying is that people enjoy Bleach more when Kubo doesn't write it.

Jojo- I love this Jojo so much. Well that's a nifty power. Aw fuck it's a magic Nazi. Why is that guy's face so weird. Owww don't punch a cactus. OWWWWW. That Nazi was surprisingly forthcoming with the information. SAVE GRAMPY SPEEDWAGON AT ALL COSTS. Ohhh that can't be a good thing. Leave Speedwagon alone he doesn't deserve this. If you call something impenetrable it's definitely getting penetrated within the hour. Oh nooooo that is definitely not a good thing. Y'all should probably run now. Well good at least it's too clumsy to chase you down. Yes insult him that'll work out great for you. This is some weird gay porn. Well that's different. He's totally about to break out of that chamber and hurt you. Oh yeah this is definitely going just great. Pillar guy is weirdly hot what's he packin' in those underoos. YES JOJO SAVE SPEEDWAGON. Nazis are dicks. Holy shit Jojo I love you. Never call him a sissy. Fuck your coffee! Aw fuck he escaped didn't he. Dude he survived centuries as a giant rock I don't think oxygen's much of a problem. What in the hell. Sooo I'm guessing he's not packing much in the wang department then. Whelp y'all are gonna die. Wow that looks painful. The moral of the story is that Nazis ruin everything. YES IT'S JOJO SAVE SPEEDWAGON. I'd just leave and let all the Nazis die. I love him so much. Is he gonna strip again because I'm all for that. Gundam- i like that BB-8 gets his own seatbelt in the mecha. If he's calling it a rumor obviously he hasn't been there, dumbass. I want a hotdog now. Great job on the whole escaping thing. Is somebody named Full Frontal? BB-8 to the rescue. And here's some grown men getting their shit kicked by an eighth grader. BB-8 is the best character. Why is there a mansion out there anyway? The lack of giant mecha unicorns still disappoints me. These sure are words you all are saying. Just leave BB-8 with her, she'll be in fine hands. Calm down there, Renton. So she's pretty much Kudelia only with less stupid hair. Who is Full Frontal are they hot. Obvioiusly, the box contains an embarrassing photo of Spongebob at last year's Christmas party. It must be Gundam tradition that I don't know what's going on in mecha fights. Beard man looks as bored and unimpressed as I am. Is the secret weapon graphic nudity? Hunter- I enjoy Killua immensely. Gon is a precious baby who deserves to win. Do they not know who Killua is? Okay I feel like the Hunter Exam is easier and gives better rewards. Jesus, Killua really does not fuck around. Yaaay Gon won. Try not to break your limbs this time, kiddo. Hit him in the dick with the fishing pole! FUCK YOUR TOPS, ASSHOLE. Kick his ass, Gon! Don't fuck with Gon. GET WRECKED. I'm adopting all these kids they're so sweet. Meanwhile, Hisoka being creepy. Kick his ass, Killua! Man, you guys are gonna piss yourselves when you figure out who his family his. Snaaaaakes. At least Killua's having fun. Noooo leave my baby alone. Dude I'm pretty sure he got worse than that before breakfast every day. RIDE THE LIGHTNING, FUCKER. i'm so proud of my adorable children today. GODDAMMIT HISOKA GET OUT OF HERE. At least Gon's having fun. RIDE THE LIGHTING AGAIN, FUCKER. I think you broke him. Is there anything creepier than an evil clown hiding in a dark hallway? I need an adult. Naruto- I still don't give a shit, show. Whatever anguish Itachi experienced, it's nothing compared to the anguish I feel every week watching this show. So, Itachi was good all along and just lied the whole time so Sasuke wouldn't wuss out of killling him? Was his lover just a dozen anonymous dicks at once. I DON'T CARE, SHOW. Oh hey, can my boyfriend be in the show again? One Piece- I'm sad that they cut Ace out of the OP. Well that sucks. Meanwhile, everybody else gets their shadows back. At least these complete strangers are having a good day. Awww it's Cindry's shadow. Oh hey she's really cute. She is gonna bang her boss. Yaaaaay they're not dead! YOHOHOHO. I'm so happy for Brook. Sure that sounds like it makes sense. Aw goddammit both of them are still alive. Eh he'll be fine he can bounce back. I forgot about the old guy with serious injuries. Lola is the best and I love her so much. And then Nami killed Zoro. Oh yeah, we're still in mortal peril. Do you have a minute to talk abou the Lord? They are having a bad day. And then everyone died. Kick his ass, Zoro! I wonder where Perona went. Ace better be okay or I'm gonna be pissed. RUN LIKE HELL. Aim for his junk! Ohhh this can't be good.

How dare you make me remember Nazi Hughes. You should be ashamed.

How dare you remind me that movie exists.

Things I learned last night: Nyquil + Uchiha angst = me instantly passing out for 12 goddamn hours Jojo- I love new Jojo. Run now Smokey before you get killed. I'll make out with you. SHOOT HIM AGAIN. I don't know who this hot naked lady is in the OP but I like her. Dio, continuing to fuck things up from beyond the grave. LASER EYES. Yeah I'm sure that worked. How could he possibly be alive with that hole in his head? Okay he just used a tommy gun as a baseball bat I am officially in love. Well I guess that would have been too easy. Those bugs can fuck right off. And then he blew him right the fuck up. Oh this is some bullshit. RUN SMOKEY. Oh my god I'm cracking up. Oh lady you are gonna get murdered. Thanks, science narrator. We don't even know that lady go ahead and kill her! How dare you even speak Speedwagon's name you bastard. Stop with the finger thing it's creeping me out. Owwwww. I enjoy that he strips when angry. SUCK IT, DOUCHE. I don't even know how that works but okay. You know damn well Speedwagon is too pure for hell. Welcome to the Bizarre Adventure, buddy. This sounds like it's gonna be a bad time. Ah, to be young and constantly nude again. Fuck the Nazis. Nazi vampires sounds like a bad mix. Well this is creepy. SPEEDWAGON IS ALIVE I'M SO HAPPY. I like this girl she's feisty. Go kill some Nazis and rescue Speedwagon! I feel like bringing the statue was a bad idea. DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH SPEEDWAGON. That kid looks exactly like the one kid that old Jojo saved. And here's another creepy dude, licking a knife on a cactus. Gundam- I will be so disappointed if this show is not actually about a mecha unicorn. Oh hey a unicorn, there's half of my wish. I hope they visit the Neutral Planet. I automatically dont trust this guy. I don't think that was supposed to blow up. Space grandpa's bed looks comfy at least. Did I just see a SPACE TANK because that sounds stupid and awesome. I like the robot that's just a collection of Metapods. Oh hey she's cute maybe I can sit through this after all. I hate all these kids already. That's called puberty, kids. Meanwhile, more people I don't care about. Whoever makes up the names in this franchise should be fired immediately. Yeah I'm not really paying attention to any of this but that little green DANGERbot is cute. Hunter- This is fun and all but when does the hot idiot come back into the show. Gon is a precious child and would never break his promise. He's so talented! Oh hey that's a nifty little power. Hisoka's abilities come from his murderous clown powers. I am way too dumb to remember these names. Aww he's adorable. LOOK WITH YOUR SPECIAL EYES. Wing's pretty okay looking I guess. Aw fuck it's Hisoka isn't it. Not Hisoka but almost as creepy. Killua is having none of your shit. You leave my adorable children alone, you freaks. That flying pig background cracks me up. Oh no I got a bad feeling about this. NO DON'T GO DOWN THE DARK ALLEY. Oh nooooo. Oh thank god, kill them all. This is gettin' real molesty for an episode that doesn't even have Hisoka. Oh you dicks. Killua is taking no shit today. He figured it out I'm so proud. Don't let that kid out of your sight, people. HOLY SHIT KILLUA DOES NOT FUCK AROUND. Naruto- Oh my god show I cannot handle more Uchiha angst. Gee I can't imagine why he wouldn't trust you. So why did Itachi have those big lines on his face. Please gag Sasuke so he shuts the hell up. Dude you're putting a lot of faith in this masked man who ties up unconscious teenage boys. This was just an excuse for him to talk about how great he is. This is a history lesson I never gave a shit about, show. Meanwhile my suffering has been going on for 140 episodes. One Piece- I forgot that Moria turned goddamn terrifying. Aim for his giant junk! At least Brook can live on for everyone. Aw shit it's dawn. I love Lola so much. Usopp is just frozen in fear. Nooo Lola's on fire. Pssh, 1000 vs 9 seems like almost a challenge. Moria wheezing sounds like how I feel right now. FUCKING BATS. Well at least Luffy's safe from the sunlight in there. He's made of rubber, crushing him does nothing you idiot. Good job douche you just made him angry. I sure hope your own shadow is the next one that gets spit out. It'll be fine there's plenty of people to carry him this time. Make him barf like how I've felt this entire week! You tell 'em, Lola! Okay I can understand Lola not wanting to fight the giant axe warthog, buy you two had your shadows in a couple of squirrels. That is looking gross. And then everyone was on fire. Whelp that was about ten seconds too late.

That seems like it'll just end with people being babies and deleting posts they don't like.

I actually like Monopoly but no one will play with me because last time I got a single card from every set and refused to trade for anything. I arranged them all into a rainbow and just didn't want to break it up.

Jojo- He'll be fine who needs a body anyway. I'm sure this has nothing to do with Dio or anything. KILL THAT MASK, SPEEDWAGON. Awww they're getting married. I like his new hat. Aw fuck Dio's in that coffin. Speedwagon is just the best guy. Get some booty, Jojo. This is going way too well for them. Goddamn drunk priest is gonna ruin everything. Honey you're gonna learn how to slam down a bottle of wine. Oh fuck you guy, just let the man get laid. Whelp there goes the priest. At least Dio's just a head in a jar how much harm can he do. Okay a lot of harm apparently. If he still had a body, it would have a boner right now. Noooo go back to your room before you die. Oh I'm sure you'll take his body alright. Hey look, it's that guy who assaulted you back in the day. Well this could be going better. Lady you might wanna run away now. And then the zombies came. Wow, this is a really rough day for them. This is where Speedwagon barges in and saves everyone right? Ohhh this is not good. Jojo isn't that gonna kill your wife anyway? At least he gets to die nestled in that rack. Well that's a shitty way to end things. SOMEONE LEFT A BABY. Oh goddammit Dio. Everybody zombie night! This just keeps getting worse for Jojo. "My velvet boudoir" just sounds hilarious. Okay it's definitely time to get off the flaming boat of death now. At least he gets to die nestled in that rack. RIP Jojo. Oh thank god I thought Dio was gonna pop out of that coffin. We can take comfort in the fact that Jojo got to hit that. Jojo Again- Aww Grandpa Speedwagon. I'm glad Speedwagon has done well for himself. Oh god so many fucking masks. Hi, new guy. Well now I want soda. New guy is a douche. Well we're off to a great start already. Hi new Jojo! Do not fuck with new Jojo. New Jojo is doing things for me. Oh good things worked out for Erina. Just take a sledgehammer to that entire cave. You stay away from baby Jojo. Lil Jojo has some issues. Oh fuuuuck. You son of a bitch I trusted you! NOOOO SPEEDWAGON WHY DOES EVERYTHING I LOVE DIE. Dio continues to ruin things even from beyond the grave. Don't you touch Speedwagon! That sure looks painful. Oh god these accents are beautiful. Kick his ass, granny. I like Smokey I hope he doesn't die. Speedwagon fucked your grandpa. Oh hey I was about to ask what happened to that baby. Racist dickwad time. KICK HIS ASS, JOJO. I love Erina. I love new Jojo. No you're lying, Speedwagon gets better and continues being a perfect human being. New Jojo is just the best. Welcome to Starbucks. Jojo's boob question cracks me up. Oh fuck it's a vampire. Holy shit new Jojo does NOT fuck around. Aww he's crying. I'm glad we get to keep Roundabout. At least Speedwagon can finally reunite with his true love. Hunter- Hisoka doesn't give a fuck. Was this your card? I'm already confused. Math, the only thing more terrifying than a clown boner. What in the actual fuck. Well now how are you gonna jerk off. How the shit does that work? Dude you already lost as soon as you let him start monologuing. MAGIC FIST, GO. Never fight a clown to the death they have no fear and enjoy human suffering. Go put your arm back on. Why does that girl look exactly like Killua with different hair. Girl I don't know who you are but you're lucky he hasn't murdered you. That's a nifty power. The right arm is more expensive because it's his jackoff arm. That's also a nifty power. This girl is having none of his shit and I admire that. I am not really following this explanation at all. The only thing I'm getting from this is that Hisoka is goddamn terrifying. What she means is no jerking off until you heal. Well that sounds ominous. Meanwhile, adorable children being adorable. This is not a shower scene I wanted. Oh hey it's the spider thing. Well that's creepy. Naruto- Enough with the Uchiha angst get back to someone I don't hate. Or we could go back to the orange douche, because this show has a personal grudge against me. If you threw a bunch of bugs at me I'd just give up and cry forever. Dude you escaped having to work with the moron squad last time you should be thankful. As soon as Naruto speaks, everything goes to hell. Flytrap man continues to be the least terrible part of this thing. Flytrap guy knows eactly where he is I don't think you're gonna find him first. I finally get a rare triple Travis scene and it's in Naruto of all places, because the universe is just fucking with me at this point. Sasuke does not want to be your boyfriend just give it up. Thanks, creepy guy watching a teenage boy sleep. Oh fuck me it's story time with the orange douche. Dude your eye's getting funky. Uchihas, continuing to be dicks even after death. This sounds like it will be stupid and poorly explained. One Piece- Oh hey new OP. Oh hey new uncut OP. OH HEY NEW UNCUT OP WITH ACE. I enjoy seeing Moriah in pain. Luffy might be dead. Okay so somebody else go beat the shit out of him. Awww fuck. And then everyone died. Oh hey Zoro. Oh hey everybody. I love Brook so much. Oh god Luffy's got a plan we're all gonna die. Meanwhile, Franky builds a goddamn cannon. Those Robin legs are definitely someone's fetish. Ice to meet you, motherfucker! Just go with it Brook your concerns are meaningless. Straw Hat teamwork is the best. Oh fuck my body hurts just looking at that. Y'all might wanna move. Even the zombies are impressed. Oh hey Cindry. Oh hey other Lola. Uhh guys there's the sun you might wanna get your shadows back like right now. Well at least Brook gets to live. Oh man he is looking all kinds of batshit crazy. Alright Brook you're strong and have a shadow, you beat the shit out of him. Ohhh that cannot be a good thing. We get it you took all the shadows. Well now you're even uglier so who's the real winner here.

Because one day I jacked off six times in an hour and I got dizzy and couldn't move for awhile. Stay hydrated, kids.

Probably 3-4 times a day usually. Fun story if you jack it six times in an hour you'll get dizzy and can't move for awhile.

You're assuming I care waaaay more than I actually do. Jojo- Our heroes, standing around while a small child gets slapped around. No seriously Dio what the FUCK are those pets. Don't fuck Dio it won't end well. I like this girl I hope she doesn't die. Ohh this does not look good. Thank you Jojo. SNAKE FACE. Well that's different. Sandwich man just keeps on giving. This went surprisingly well, something terrible must be about to happen. KICK HIM IN THE DICK. You are a liar and a dick, Dio. Don't you dare insult sandwich man. Don't worry, DIRE STRAITS will take care of this. Speedwagon's commentary is the best thing. Whelp so much for that. Oh that is a bad end. Dio is weirdly attractive and I hate myself for it. Wait what FLOWER ATTACK. RIP Dire. PLUCK SWORD is best sword. That is a lot of zombies. Chandelier to the face, bitch! Thank you, Tom Petty. Protect Speedwagon at all costs. That was his jackin' arm, you dick! This is going too well. Oh goddammit. Okay the artery fingering was a bad thing to watch while eating. I don't understand half those words but I think he just said he's gonna fuck him. Eat shit, Dio. Aw fuck. I admire Jojo's resolve. Uh dude your hand's on fire. Oh hey, it worked. Oh what the hell now. LASER EYES. Is he dead this time? Oh yeah, let's remember the good times when Dio assaulted his girlfriend and set his dog on fire. Sing for me, Speedwagon. Gundam- Kick his ass already. Mika, continuing his proud tradition of giving zero shits. Seriously, nobody should trust Schneizel. We get it you stuck your dick in a robot, nobody cares. Geass boy broke. You beautiful douche. Never fear, the weird old dude is here. I sure hope Orga's not about to jump into a suicide mission. TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF, JAILBAIT. What a surprise, the gorgeous shady douchebag turned out to be a shady douchebag. At least the loli will get out unscathed. Bye Geass boy. I'm glad the cute wife I liked survived. Oh hey that other cute guy is still alive too. Stab him in the dick, Mika. Ohhh them's some fightin' words, robot boy. It took 24 episodes, but Mika finally gives a fuck about something. Fight them with your words or whatever. Orga why is your shirt still on. THE WIVES ARE ALIVE THIS IS A GOOD DAY. Orga never got to bang the cute lady. This is a bad night for arms on the block. Well this went surprisingly well I'm sure it all goes to hell two minutes into the next season. I still don't trust old guy. This all went just great for Schneizel. GODDAMMIT HITLER WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE. Aaaand we're back with the creepy loli engagement. YAY HAREM I'M SO HAPPY FOR THEM. Things turned out okay for Mika I guess? Oh boy, homework. I do like that Atra's really pushing for that mini-harem. We'll adopt more child mercenaries! Hunter- Yaaay he's better. These kids are too cute. Are those tickets to Star Wars? Even better, let's watch the clown fight! Punch him in the face, Gon. Hey you're not studying the magic stuff you're just watching a clown murder someone. It so does not count, guy! Nerd guy can't handle these kids. Gon is such a good kid I love him. I do not like your odds at all, guy whose name I already forgot. Even the snacks are deadly here. NINJA SPEED. Oh shit he knows your name. This guy seems like a good dude it's a shame the clown's gonna slaughter him. Sorry Gon you're gonna have to get in line for punching Hisoka. You know he's got a boner. This is going too well for that guy. Okay this is REALLY not a good night for arms on the block. Well that was unexpected. It's okay, that wasn't his jackin' arm. Clown is unconcerned. Sure that sounds accurate. He's going to murder-fuck both of you. Is there anything more terrifying than an evil clown boner? Naruto- I still don't care about Sasuke, show. Is it too much to hope that they both just kill each other? So hey does Two Face here have a multi-colored dong too? RIDE THE LIGHTNING, DOUCHE. Sasuke used THUNDERBOLT, it's super effective! I don't think I'm lucky enough for him to be dead. Is anything in this fucking fight actually real? Wow Sasuke looks dumber than ever. Sure bring out the giant skeleton demon or whatever it's not like it's gonna do anything. Oh hey snake Blum! And then he was a Hydra. Please just kill each other already I can't keep track of this fight anymore. And then the lubed-up naked man withdrew himself from the exhausted teenage boy. Well that sure was pointless. Snake has the right idea with getting the hell out of this show. LOOK WITH YOUR SPECIAL EYES. Oh what the hell now. You suck, Sasuke. Well that sure was anticlimactic. Hi snake. Is he actually fucking dead this time? Cut his head off to make sure. Oh man are they both dead it's the best Christmas gift of all. One Piece- Eat several dicks, Moriah. I hope Sniper King saves the day. Whelp there goes Zoro. You're right Usopp, it's not just size that counts! Poor Oars. Zoro might be dead. Oh man I hope that salt worked. SON OF A BIIIIIIIITCH. Where is Hulk Luffy? Moriah may have gone completely batshit crazy. There he is! KICK HIS ASS, LUFFY. Ooh he looks cool as shit. PUNCH, DENIED. Dude just got the full Saitama. Alright you got like five minutes make it count. Please save the crew. Lola is the best and I love her. Now punch Moriah right in his stupid face. Hey some guys can do a lot in 2-3 minutes. Meanwhile, Jehova's Witness waits to convert everyone. Don't fuck with Luffy. I enjoy seeing Moriah in pain. Aww I wanted Nightmare Luffy to stick around longer. Yaaaay they did it!