EmpressAngel

But what will you whine about nonstop now?

Plot twist that's why he hit on so many women, because deep down he knew his family never survives hanging out with the Joestars. That last day before Jojo showed up was just a marathon of him banging cute tourist girls. I mean he's not as hot as Joseph but I'd plow that like a fall harvest.

Jojo is so buff My boyfriend curse bounced off him And took out Caesar

WHY CAN'T I HAVE NICE THINGS, SHOW Jack- I feel like a kid again only this time I have an amazing rack. Oh this is depressing. Who's this guy is that Jack. I do enjoy seeing those bugbots get destroyed. IT'S JACK AND HE'S GOT A COOL BEARD. Poor Jack come here let me hug you. Well this is an uncomfortable maternity ward. Aku's broodmare seems like a pretty rough career path, lady. I'm digging that Mad Max look he's got going on. Oh that's a punch right to the gut. And then nightmares forever. Mmmm, fried rat. For the love of god somebody hug Jack. Poor kids this cult seems like a bad idea. Run away, little girl! Fuck you lady, I'm that kid's mother now. Leave my daughter alone she's doing her best. So did Aku fuck that lady or what. Robot ninja! Oh god he sounds like Snagglepuss. Okay I like this robot guy. WHIP IT OUT! Ohhhh that is not a good thing. Sweet flute, bro. Kick his ass, Jack! Jack might need some therapy. RIP flute. Oh my god I'm cracking up. I want him to fight Brook. Don't fuck with Jack. Look at my girl go I'm so proud of her. I can't stop smiling. Jojo- I will be absolutely floored if Caesar makes it out of this tragic backstory episode alive. Dang Caesar's dad was hot. Wow that's depressing as shit. I love how dudes in this show rip their clothes off when they get mad. WRENCH FIGHT. Oh shit it's the pillar men. So then, all of this was Caesar's fault. Okay so what happened to his siblings? Well I was already comforting Joseph after last week but shit, you can put your face in my boobs too. Someone give that boy a hug. Awwww they're friends. Oh this can't be good. What the fuck is that. I love this narrator. Fuck you, Wammu. Whelp so much for that guy. Wow what a shock this was a trap. Jojo's staying the hell out of this, in the smartest move he's ever made. Yeah sure that sounds like science. Good luck, buddy. FUCK YEAH, CAESAR. This is going surprisingly well-aww fuck I spoke too soon. HEY KOOL-AID MAN. Ohhhh you are walking right into a fucking trap, my dude. Oh hey that guy's not dead. Hey look, an arm. I got a real bad feeling about this. Yeah sure this sounds like more science. DISCO MUSCLE BUBBLES. Oh goddammit Caesar you're fucked. I make a couple jokes about banging a dude and the grim reaper strolls in to fuck up the day, it's like clockwork. Caesarino you should really get out of there. STAIRS. Caesar no, just run. Aww he grabbed the ring for Jojo. Aaaaaand I'm crying. Hey guys maybe you could do something instead of standing outside. Eww blood bubble. DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT BUBBLE, YOU FUCKER. I hope your life is only like two more days you piece of shit. Congratulations Jojo I'm pretty sure in some cultures this means you're married. Poor baby come here put your face in my boobs and we'll cry together. Meanwhile nobody gives a shit about that other guy who died. Come here Lisa Lisa let me hug you and we'll cry together. Ohhh fuck you, show. Joseph's so buff my curse bounced right off those pecs and took out the next hottest thing. Hold me in those incredible goddamn arms while I weep, Jojo. :( Gundam- Yeah I was too busy crying to pay much attention to the first half of this. I don't like this blond kid's odds. Every week I think that lady died and I keep being proven wrong. This was a real bad week to throw an episode with like 80% conversations at me. Meanwhile, Benedryl sucks and fails. Hunter- Aw crap they took out that explanation intro and I'm too dumb to remember it. Spend all your money! I use my phone almost entirely for crappy games and porn. Hiiii hot idiot! I'll taste you, baby. Youuuu beautiful moron. Ask the idiot to whore himself out for your money. Haaa the Google knockoff. Meanwhile, weeb time. Oh is it their sexy dad again? FUCK THE AUCTIONEER, HOT MAN. I'm pretty sure Boobs won't have any trouble making friends. Gon is so cute I love him. I'm surprised Gon didn't break the damn table. I'm sure Gon could do a couple hundred thousand rounds. This girl's gonna kick his ass. That went surprisingly well. My left hand is also incredibly strong from jerkin' it to Jojo. Go away Hisoka nobody likes you. Mole girl is nice I like her. PLAY FREEBIRD. I'm already cursed lemme hear it. Wow that was a rough day. Hug that mole girl. Naruto- Man, it really doesn't end well whenever Caesar's family hangs out with the Joestars. One Piece- Nope, not even its imminent retirement could get me to watch Foxy filler.

Hold me in those incredible goddamn arms while I sob, Jojo. :(

"Only"

NICE

Dude I sleep with an Ace body pillow at night. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Here's Nami's boobs. Whelp, time to skip ahead to the next time Ace shows up and try to masturbate around the brutal fights.

It's me, falling deeper into the madness of cartoon dick thirst.

God exists, and he truly hates me in particular.

This is some bullshit.

What happens is my character bangs Jojo. *slides you $20 and some cookies*

The first anime covers the first two Jojos. The second anime is part 3, then part 4. I blame these people every day, my life was perfectly fine until Joseph fucking Joestar appeared out of nowhere with his amazing goddamn biceps like the second coming of Ace.

Jojo lured me in with a false sense of security and then the second part started and those ridiculous goddamn buff muscles ruined my fucking life. Definitely recommend it. 10/10 would watch again. Also hi BFF I missed you <3

He's almost too hot Stupid buff arms ruined me This is my life now

I have this weird curse My anime boyfriends die Please god not Jojo

Thirsty for Jojo Not my fault, look at those pecs Send help I can't stop

Stroheim ain't got a dick. Everybody point and laugh.

The pussy jokes are so easy my brain short-circuited. Jojo- DOUBLE SHOCK. I love how it's been hours and he just now figured out it was the Nazi. Goddamn Germans and their automail. Good you can chop off his leg again. And after this, have a seat on the sofa and watch me work too. Fight me Kars, my lungs are protected by inches of boobs and uncontrollable thirst is the strongest motivation of all. This isn't even the weirdest posing in this show. Are we really supposed to root for the Nazi here? GUN GUT. This entire show really must have been insanely fun to dub. Is it too much to hope that they kill each other? SECRET CHAINSAW. Whelp so much for the Nazi. Block it with your big ol' dick, baby. I'm sorry Jojo you have to suffer because I love you. I really hope that's a fake stone. That is one resiliant Nazi. Hey honey maybe stop narrating and pick it up. Oh hey guys nice of you to stand there doing absolutely nothing. You could say it was a Kars accident. If you get that stone I'll suck your dick. I'm so proud of you take off your pants. NO WHY DOES EVERYTHING I LOVE DIE. Jojo's having a bad day. Thanks, narrator. Stop killing my boyfriend you son of a bitch. Do literally anything at all to help him, you assholes. Oh hey Caesar nice of you to join us. You're both idiots and I love you. CAESARINO. This is going too well. At least he didn't hurt the flowers. I am uncomfortable with that laugh. Now you should probably get that other ring out of your chest. Hi kitty! Ohhhh my god, fuck me. Come here baby put your face in my boobs you'll feel better. Blow up that building! Boyfriend is surprisingly smart right now. Boys don't fight you're both pretty just make out. Oh no, he's fully cocked here. And then Caesar was on fire. Now rip each other's clothes off. Okay so Caesar's definitely about to fucking die. Oh boy we've unlocked his tragic backstory! Gundam- This recap takes up like half the episode and yet I still can't keep track of this show every week. As long as we're talking about boxes, my other group of thirsty Jojo hoes agreed that Joseph is by far the most likely to ruin Christmas with an ill-planned dick in a box. I was pretty sure that lady died last week but I guess I stand corrected. Full Frontal is by far the most disappointing name every week. I still can't follow the mecha fights in this show but I think it's going well? Or not? Kid you sure are getting a lot of people killed for somebody who doesn't want to be a soldier or fight. Okay I have no idea what the hell is going on now. Is that the end of the show? Hunter- Show me more of the boob lady and her magic sexy powers. I'm sure that hunter site is full of Hisoka's nudes. I like the old wild west saloon theme. Oh man imagine how fun the porn is in this universe. IF YOU DIE IN THE GAME YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE. You guys are seriously stuck in a mediocre creepypasta. Gon, your dad's a dick. Time to hit up eBay. You kids got scammed. Oh I hope nobody got the eyes. Well this seems simple enough. He is way smarter than me. It's easier to protect your boss if you have some idea of who's gonna attack, douchewad. I'm pretty sure that's one of the zombie paintings from Thriller Bark. Aww she's cute I like her stuffed animals. I mean she collects human body parts like Beanie Babies so you should probably still keep your distance. I automatically don't trust these people. Nice rack. Oh she's a fortune teller that's cool. I want her and Perona to be friends. Oh hey it's that one girl with the arms. I don't like Hisoka either, guy. Does that fortune say somebody's gonna fuck their brother? I like her she's so much fun. GO AWAY, HISOKA. That's a nice face tattoo you got there. This dude's got a rage boner going. Ewwww who's selling an old tissue. Ohhh that is an unfortunate request, again. Naruto- So I've been marathoning Samurai Jack before it starts back up next week (I'm calling it my Jack-Off because I'm a mature adult) and I definitely feel like I was way too stupid and inattentive to appreciate this show back when I was a kid. One Piece- NOOOOOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE I'd rather slam my tits into a brick wall than watch more Foxy.

Me: Get that stone and I'll suck your dick! Also me, five seconds later: WHY DOES EVERYTHING I LOVE DIE

So what, we each get him to ourselves for two days and then group date on Sunday because I can roll with that. The kiddie pool is full of tequila.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- Wait what holy shit.

Sweet jesus that does things for me.

Good god he's attractive