EmpressAngel

Tonight's theme is Fathers Having A Bad Time. Zombies- I hope his parents aren't dead. Your friend's gonna fuck your parents. Here's hoping nobody steals your trailer. Look out its' a feral hog! God I love this weeb. I've known this man for 30 seconds and I would die to protect him. Fuck it let's build a tree house. What are the odds we see the Zombie Lorax next? His son's definitely dead. Oh now this got depressing. Someone hug this old man right now. Okay that is a really sweet tree house. Somehow they found a way for my boyfriend to get naked. Happy Father's Day, y'all. Your family is safe by virtue of being an absolute pain in the ass to visit. Oh I got a real bad feeling about this. What. Oh thank god they're okay. Way to ruin a moment, asshole. Bea's having a great time here. Akira is a good boy. Oh fuck his dad's dying. Who's this douchebag? Oh no what the fuck are you doing. Yeah we get it being a grownup sucks. Oh this is the evil version of the gang. I hate this boy so much. One Piece- God Zoro's so cool. You've left him on his own, he will never be found again. The floor might not be lava but it is an ugly man's punchable face. This episode is brought to you by the letter G. Speaking of Father's Day, Soldier is not having a good one. Oh hey look, it's a factory. You loeave my adorable fairy friends alone. This makes me sad. I need to kill that man with my bare hands. Thank god Robin's here with the brain cells. Trebol is one of the most viscerally disgusting characters I've ever seen in a show. For fuck's sake Usopp grow a pair and help those adorable little bastards. In case you needed the reminder, kids suck. Alright guys Plan B just jam it down her gullet. Oh my god they're so dumb. Well, at least they're adorable toys. Well this plan went right the hell off the rails. Robin, out! Fuck this swan boat in particular.

I welcome our new Big Titty German Weeb Queen. Zombies- I just pulled a muscle watching that yoga. I love this dumbass and his stupid suit. Player 2 has entered teh game. WEEB. She gives me the same vibes as that one guy from that episode of Champloo. Dang look at the cans on that weeb. Don't kid yourself her reason has to be way dumber than that. Y'know what I can respect her dream for unlimited food. If our sushi chef is dead I'm gonna cry. Oh my god there's two of them. Please tell me he-yes thank god they found a way to make him naked. This may be my perfect man. Whelp, we're boned. I would die for these idiots. Did we always have a drone? Thank god Shizuka's carrying the team's only brain cells. Good job gang you've earned this. I'm happy for her. Awwww this chef is so sweet. I love this weeb so much. I'd be rooting for my boyfriend to get laid but i don't want him to kill this one too. Oh right, for a minute there I forgot that Shizuka's personality sucks. They're so fucking stupid. We don't deserve this big titty weeb. Stupid cockblocking zombies. You're in an ongoing apocalypse stop playing hard to get. Aww this is a genuinely nice moment between these two. Cockblock part 2 but at least this time it's funny. One Piece- Doflamingo must really hate that kid if he stuck her on a team with Trebol. Usopp is not having a good time here. Leo is a good boy and I love him. Meanwhile, fuck you Jesus. That's a lot of fish. Not today, fish! Great job Rebecca you tried and immediately failed. Beat his ass, replacement boyfriend! Goddamn he's cool. Barto is an eternal mood. I like that somebody's just how realizing hey that's not Luffy. I wish I liked Rebecca more but I also wish she didn't suck so bad. Meanwhile, fingers crossed that Toy Soldier turns into a hot dilf soon. Look out, grandpa's off his meds again. What. Meanwhile meanwhile we join our fight with a sentient wall already in progress. Oh right, Kinemon ran off too. Wicca's not having a great time today. Oh my god please tell me he's dressed like Doflamingo. Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile, Franky is actually having a pretty good time here. Senior Pink says fuck the police. "He's all strength and no pants" might be my favorite line of this arc. God Zoro's so cool.

Every once in a blue moon I look at a character and pat myself on the back for having the bare minimum level of standards. Good job, me. Zombies- Puppy! Wow, a dad so garbage even I won't fuck him. This guy's asking very important questions here in the apocalypse, can you fuck the zombies? I'm gonna enjoy seeing this douche get murdered by zombies. You're not my boss! I am deeply uncomfortable. Oh this girl was fucked up from birth. I am extremely concerned for the adorable puppy. PUPPY NO! Somebody please kill him. My inner rage is screeching like a rabid howler monkey. Meanwhile is my dipshit boyfriend okay? These random baseball boys are about to get everyone killed. My dipshit's back! Goddammit Akira grow a pair and get out of there! Our boy's got some serious battered wife syndrome. Hey, she's finally kinda likeable. Now get yourself a puppy. I'm proud of you, buddy. Genuinely surprised this jackass didn't immediately hit him with a bat. And now everyone gets murdered by zombies. Everybody get in the van. My boyfriend gets every woman he touches killed so maybe he'll cancel out my own curse. Please just let him die. Maybe get off the truck before you blow it up. Fuck off and die, douche. One Piece- Can you really call it a stupid disguse when it fooled you too? Wicca no! Good news you won't keep getting lost but bad news you don't get to ride in Zoro's tits anymore. Genuinely surprised Zoro managed to follow a single direction. I'm sure this is normal. Uh hey I think your wall's got a tumor you might wanna get that checked out. Wall dude, go! Quit lookin' at me with them big ol' eyes. Let's try an experiment, can you punch a pile of bricks right in the nuts? It'll be fine, rubber's immune to blunt force trama. Meanwhile, the pantsless fight continues. I'd tell these hoes to have some standards but we all know I don't have the kind of track record to back that up. Play Freebird! Franky's GUN HAIR constantly cracks me up. Stop drop and roll, Franky! Oh no his hair's ruined. I like that they actually give him time to do his hair. Meanwhile meanwhile, Usopp is trying his best. Harry Styles is not having a good time here. Ah fuck Trebol's here. That sound you hear is my entire body cringing in visible disgust. Surprise, you're a toy now. Having everyone forget about him is a special level of hell for Cabbage in particular. New plan, poison this child. As someone with the spice tolerance of a six-month old baby, that grape would absolutely kill me.

I don't care how sparse the block gets you're never gonna make me care about Superman. One Piece- After half a month off this recap is genuinely helpful. God I hope Sabo is hot under that helmet. I like that nobody notices Lucy's wearing a whole new outfit and his giant chest scar has been hastily drawn on with a sharpie. This announcer's having the best day. Fuck you, Steven Tyler. One of you could just knock him into the water while he's doing his stupid little dance here. In a surprise twist, Block D will never goddamn end. That's a stupid power. CHUNGUS FISH. Okay so we gotta kill this one particular fish. I'm gonna just preemptively declare Sabo as my replacement boyfriend. Those fish could feed a normal crew for a week and Luffy for approximately six minutes on a good day. Meanwhile, I give it 40 seconds before we lose Zoro again. Yeah they're looking super inconspicuous in their giant furry mascot outfits. People really need to sop expecting Luffy to not bulldoze his way through in the most violet and destructive way possible. Our boy absolutely nailed this stealth mission. Doflamingo, also not noticing how Lucy grew six inches and suddenly turned blond. Oh hey, my wife! Good, we've freed Zoro's tits. I miss my dipshit naked boyfriend and his zombie-related shenanigans.

Toonami, wishing us all a Happy Mother's day with the show focused on the gruesome murder of a mother within the first 15 minutes.

Ninja- This is why you don't give nuclear reactors to techbro douchebags. We shall bring peace to the world by violently murdering a whole bunch of people. Meanwhile, 30-50 feral hogs. I hope he's trampled and eaten by pigs. Okay props to Oiffer Retirement for just t-boning a plane. The world's most exciting chase sequence between an insufferable nerd and an old man about to collect socail security. Eat shit, techbro. Officer I Wish He Was My Dad has zero competion for MVP of this show. BEAT HIS ASS. Thank you, finally! He's only got one eye just go for his blind spot. Oh right, that guy's still here. I could have sworn they said everybody only has one Secret Art but also that everybody seems to whip out a new one every other week. Open up, it's time for another dose of extensive PTSD. Surprising non one, Third Wheel is slighly less of a jackass than previously depicted. He abandoned the ninja cause to get laid, what more of an explanation do you need. Don't take her ninja advice, if she was better at her job your kid wouldn't have died. I'd suggest a Secret Art drinking game for next week but I can't afford the alcohol poisoning. Their suits really make me want to watch Gurren Lagann. "I may have lost but there will be other ninjas in Ninja Kamui season 2." Why the FUCK is techbro still alive. I'm glad Officer Three Days Til Retirement managed to survive the series. So you might wanna get Third Wheel here some actual medical attention. The fuck is he gonna do now, he's got one arm and no non-murder skills. Zombies- Now that is some fancy Rich People Shit. We're gonna have to go outside if you wanna find food and/or girls. Ah dang I hope his parents aren't dead. Babe you don't need underpants we all know you're gonna have your dong out within 20 minutes. Oh shit we're getting an RV. The hell are you doing here? God I hate her. Don't bring her she sucks. Oh my god take the tank one. I overestimated how long it would take him to whip his dong out. Get the cool one you joyless dork. I hope y'all had enough sense to bring some gas. Covid caused the zombies, got it. FUCK, WHEELS. Is my dipshit boyfriend okay? Who the fuck are you guys? Are you fucking kidding me! How the hell are you still alive. What's the catch you fucking creep? Honestly I'd rather just die. Get that shit in writing first, buddy. His dick's probably got road rash. BEER. Oh my god you sweet dumb baby he's gonna murder you. My brain is shaking in violent terror right now. Ethics aside, using zombies as packmules is a pretty good idea. Surprise, everyone is traumatized. One Piece- I can't believe this match is still going. What the fuck happened here. Calm down guys I don't think Rebecca did all that. Was...was it Jack the Ripper? Surprise, Harry Styles has a superpowered evil side. Oh, so he's like if Zenitsu didn't suck ass in every conceivable way. Where the fuck do you think she's hiding a pistol in that outfit, up her ass? Meanwhile, the pantsless fight. I love Franky he's so fun. Ladies have some standards. No shit the pacifier's not to attract women. Kinda want these two to be best friends after the fight. Meanwhile meanwhile, everyone hates Doflamingo. Law, having the worst fucking day. Oh yeah I'm sure none of the other Straw Hats are doing anything important right now. What factory? Wicca honey you should know better by now that you can't give Zoro directions. They will be making a huge scene within the next 30 seconds. Quick, hide yourself in Zoro's tits! Back by apparently popular demand, Steven Tyler. I don't think that's the same Lucy. I like the scar drawn on his tits. Show I need to know if he's pretty or not. Lady there is not one word of that explanation that will stop Luffy from busting in like a Koolaid man. Meanwhile Franky's having a great time. Incoming, FAT. Genuinely surprised he didn't find a way to turn his hair into an actual functioning cannon. Weird oversized baby man goes surprisingly hard. Gotta admit, he's starting to grow on me. Why does the fat guy have a giant beaver tail? Ah shit now the cops are here. Somebody please get Law a bandaid. Fujitora, one of like five actually good marines. Beat his ass, grandpa! Hey you can beat up the flamingo all you want but leave my wife Hancock out of this. Props for that blindness pun, old man. Sweet, secret door. I still need to know if Rebecca's dad is hot. There he go. I'm glad Koala grew up to do cool shit. I like that no one notices Lucy suddenly got like six inches taller and a completely different outfit. Show me his face you cowards.

As far as titles go I don't think there's any topping "Ace Dies!" for spoilers. Ninja- Of course the answer is murder, the fuck else you think he was gonna do? Congratulations show you finally remembered what I'm here for, violent man fights. Ah hell it's a sharingan. I gotta admit, a ripped unkillable man is right up my alley. Alright yeah that's fair to be murderously pissed at him for getting your face the Todoroki treatment. In his defense, he defected to get laid. My dude I'm pretty sure he's been in love with you this whole time. Lady it's thinking like this that probably got your son murdered by ninjas. I like that Officer Retirement keeps calling him Ducky. I hate Techbro Douchebag so fucking much. Oh yeah I'm sure your minions are gonna kill the head ninja with no problem. I mean if the two asshole squads just kill each other off then that takes care of like a solid 65% of our problems. Wow I can't imagine how the feds managed to track down the fuckin' Titty Truck so fast. You dumb motherfucker you shot your own hot lady bodyguard. Ma'am throw me over your shoulder and carry me like a dipshit sack of potatoes next please. Well at least somebody in this show is having a good day. Lady don't throw your life away for this douchebag. GODDAMMIT. Maybe if Mari wasn't such a shitty nina her kid would still be alive. Zombies- Is he just gonna stay naked for the entire series because this is gonna get distracting. Meanwhile, constantly farting zombies. I love their friendship. Shit's on fire, yo. The zombie firefighter trying his best got me. The dog also being a zombie makes me sad. Ah crap, subway zombies. Hey look, found yoursel a girlfriend. This checks off like four boxes. Oh my god they're flight attendants! This is fantastic. Oh right, the cannibalistic undead hoard outside. I like this angry dunk one. Get it, himbo. NO NOT THE TEQUILA. Date me you weird naked man. If i learned anything from Chainsaw Man, it's that you shouldn't make out with somebody drunk enough to barf. Ah fuck that guy's gonna ruin it all. Please don't kill my drunk bitch wife. Damn our himbo didn't waste any time. Aw dangit she has a boyfriend. Whelp, hot drunk one's dead. "Too deep in a post-dick stupor to dodge a zombie" is how I want to die. The service industry is dogshit indeed. Son of a bitch all the girls are dead. Yeah you're gonna wanna get out of there before she zombies out. This show strikes a fantastic balance between hilarious and depressing as fuck and I'm here for it. You gotta become a flight attendant to honor her memory. FUCK YEAH, FREE TV. I have no interest in being a flight attendant and will laugh at anything, date me. One Piece- Law's day, somehow getting worse every 20 minutes. Nothing to see here, regular folks. Momo sucks you can go ahead and take him. Oh hey, Fujitora. There is exactly one functional eye in this fight. I like that Fujitora cares enough to evacuate the citizens. Meanwhile Law, bleeding out on the pavement. Bye, Law. Well Kinemon he just got his ass beat and shot so probably not doing well here. Wow, shocking that the bad mustache didn't fool anyone with upwards of three braincells. Everything's going straight to hell. What the hell is that?! All aboard the SS Diabetes. Wait why does the boat talk what kind of fever dream is this. Fancy Eggman is somehow the weirdest guy in this show. You should just let them have Caesar. Oh they want to kill him, definitely let them have Caesar. Cheese it, gang! Franky's gonna be so pissed if the Sunny explodes. You can just let them have Momo and Caesar. Now get out of here. Sanji you got like half your bones broken approximately 20 minutes ago the hell you think you're gonna do? Everyone hates Doflamingo. Meanwhile, oh my god this tournament match is still going. Oooh who's this new guy? Oh that title makes me think I'm gonna be crying by the end of this. Everybody fucking hates you, Bellamy. I'm sure we're not supposed to like this wacky little twink but I appreciate him kicking the shit out of someone I hate. Barto no just let him get kicked to death. Not now. Steven Tyler! Barto you're a good boy but just let him get murdered. I enjoy watching Bellamy suffer. Maybe sempai would notice you if you didn't suck absolute shit. Toy Soldier is a good dude and I hope his real form is hot. What factory. Man, everybody suddenly getting a decade of secret memories back is gonna fuck up this place somethin' fierce. Now, beat the shit out of this child. Oh god not that nasty creep. She's like eight, just punch her in the skull. Usopp, heroically volunteering to fight a child. I love Franky's hair. Luffy my dude just punch a hole in the wall. On second thought, pairing Bellamy up with Luffy's biggest fanboy is probably the worst thing he could imagine. Barto is my spirit animal. You're barking up the wrong tree, Bellamy doesn't know what it's like to have friends. I would trust Bartolomeo with my life. Hello guy are you hot. Is this Luffy's secret second brother who never shows up? Man I hope he's hot because my thirst is contractually obligated to transfer with that fruit. SHOW ME HIS FACE GODDAMMIT. What are they wearing. And then they were furries. Oooh who's this. OH MY GOD KOALA'S BACK! Hey look, I'm crying.

Economically, the best value is pirating. There's no shortage of sites that upload both dubbed and subbed episodes within a day of their release. And if you're wanting to watch live, it's not too hard to find a stream for it. Alternatively, call the cable company and tell them you want to cancel. They'll send you to the Retention Wizard who can give you a steep discount for the next 1-2 years. Proceed accordingly depending on the wizard's offer.

Ninja- Show I don't care about the third wheel's tragic backstory. Oh I am extremely uncomfortable with some of the implications here. Look buddy some of us need an unsafe amount of radioactive liquid waste to start the day. Wait if ninjas don't have graves then what the hell did you do with your wife and kid's corpses? It's encrypted with the stupid karaoke song isn't it. Someone please punch this douchebag's skull in half. Don't you start bringing offbrand Tiktok into this. Why does Mari always sound like she's reading her lines right before her lunch break and just wants to clock out in the next five minutes? It is way too late in the game for me to drum up any interest for this guy that I can only describe as having vaguely Sasuke-ish vibes. Okay, "raised by crows in the mountains" is admittedly a new one. Yes yes you were all good friends until the other two started fucking like rabbits and abandoned you. Nerd what are you even doing here, just go sit in a corner and work on the computer.Officer Three Days Until Retirement did not pick the smartest move here. Is the discount Linkin Park soundtrack the best soundtrack choice here? Oh lord now the robots are Naruto running. I agree, you really should have just killed that guy years ago. Zombie- Thanks, suspiciously nice club owner helping this traumatized child. Okay yeah I can fuck with this. Meanwhile our business boy continues to live his best life. Honey no don't do the sharpie beard. Oh thank god the internet's back. Meanwhile, he's having the worst time in the club. Dude just kill the zombie. The fuck you mean there's nothing in the bondage room you can use to fight your way out? I love how totally unconcerned he is with goddamn everything. You should have listened to your cute friend and quit years ago. Sorry your dramatic final stand is interrupted by the world's most obnoxious car horn. The grownzombie man in a slutty sailor girl outfit made me laugh. Good job, business boy. Friend surprise! Hug it out, idiots. Oh right, the zombies. This man is too hungover for this shit. I'd die for you, business boy. You're living through a zombie apocalypse, you'd might as well stop giving a shit about dying. Nut up, man. Amigo now is not the time for your heartfelt moment! Fucking run, dumbass. YEET. Oh, I love him. You're gonna be picking gravel out of your dong. "I SCRAPED MY BAAAALLS" has me fucking crying. Naked bro bonding time. I'd like to apologize in advance for whatever happens to this hot, stupid man. Licorice- Show you can go ahead and kill the douchebag lesbians. Chisato has run out of shits to give. Oh what the hell are you doing now. ANOTHER bomb?! Honey just use the real bullets this time. The worst lesbian, letting her partner bleed out on the floor and die. Go save your girlfriend! Oh right, she's dying. Time out, soda break! Men will literally destroy an entire building instead of going to therapy. Dude what the fuck are you talking about. It's time to kill your shitty ex, Mika. Goddamn he's cool. Joke's on you his leg's been fine this whole time. He's gonna need a hug later. Sweet, free robot heart. I hope by help you mean throwing him off a building. Too many fucking stairs. Girlfriend powers, activate! Oh nice, throwing him to his doom is what they meant by help. Now kiss you wholesome idiots. Props to this lady for taking the fall on the fake story. Oh hey, the one girl survived. That's a lot of guns. How the fuck is that guy still alive?! For the love of god somebody fuck Tits McGee. This better end with these girls making out. Shooting at each other counts as foreplay. So who's gonna tell her they ripped that guy's heart out of his chest and jammed it in her ribcage. Your ex, still the biggest asshole even after death. I love our lesbians. I'm sure that English joke is funnier in Japanese. One Piece- You're all doing so great at the whole stealth thing. I forgot fucking Bellamy is still here. And now, a wild homo appears. Okay everybody fucking with Bellamy and laughing behind his back this whole time is a pretty funny joke. Meanwhile Law, still having the worst day. Uh hey Law I don't think this is going well for you. Which one of you didn't silce your shell phone? Not now, Steven Tyler! Look if Violet's cans are gonna be that fat she can do whatever she wants. What factory. I'm sure this Kaido guy won't be important later. New priority, save Law's ass. Zoro's just salty he didn't get to play in the tournament. I keep forgetting that people forget about people when they turn into toys. I love that most of our gang is dumb as all fuck. The tontotta are so adorable and I would die for them. You buy Luffy a happy meal and he will disassemble your local government with zero questions asked. You're a good dude, Franky. New plan: fuck the government. Well this is new...false alarm, it's just Law getting his ass beat. It's fine we can call a doctor-wait, shit, Law was the doctor. Do I sense a tragic backstory on the horizon?

Ninja- Offer Retirement has had enough of this shit. Hey, respect your work dad. I really need someone to kill this techbro. You heard the lady, you're gonna have to fuck that robot. Go into hiding and for the love of god get a better haircut. Well you see senator, our office was attacked by ninjas. Okay it's really funny that he schedules time off every day for his hair. I'm pretty sure this qualifies as some kind of sexual harassment. Above all else I am rooting for this guy to live and keep his daily barber appointment. Y'all literally drive a semi truck with a massive pair of titties on it and you're surprised the enemies keep finding you. Why do I feel like this nerd is going to ruin everything. Officer Retirement is having a rough day. It'll be a much bigger surprise if he survives this whole show. This counts as a sweet surrogate father/daughter bonding moment. Well damn that was a quick fight. Higan is getting progressively less hot as his survival odds increase. I can't believe they turned that guy into a pipe bomb. If nothing else, girl took that bomb to the face like a champ. Wait is the guy modeled after Jason Demarco in the show created by Jason Demarco actually named Jason and I'm just now noticing? Well that sucks. Note to self, hug my dad tomorrow. Zom- Show I already told you to stop holding up this uncomfortable mirror to my own career. I'm really happy for him to getting his life together. Sometimes day drinking is the best form of self care. OH NO WE'RE OUT OF BEER. Him ruining this couple's dramatic emotional breakdown is great. A desperate need for toilet paper is a universal constant for world-shaking events. God I would die for this boy. Oh hey, you found a girlfriend. Girl you think beer's not essential? Oh dang she's cool. Truck-kun strikes again! MY BIKE. I hope there's another bike around here. Sweet, free scooter! Sweeter, free motorcycle! Oh no they're zombies now aren't they. I forgot the zombies are an actual problem here. Get out there and live your dreams, you weird little nerd. Tonight's theme is apparently that I need to hug my dad, stop beating me over the head with it! Oh this girl is way too high-maintenance to fuck. Girl how do you not know how zombies work in movies. Honey you're in an apocalypse just get the damn snacks. I sure hope I end up liking this girl more. Lady your life has obviously not been shitty enough if you're questioning why someone would want beer in an apocalypse. Licorice- Let's go, lesbians! Chisato honey I think it's time to go ahead and bring out the real bullets. Oh for fuck's sake don't split up. Ah hell they're gonna put down all the lesbians like Ol' Yeller. I keep forgetting this guy isn't Yoshikage from Jojo. Man what a dick. Dude what the fuck. Chisato honey he literally wants to kill you. I absolutely approve of shooting him. Takina is the girlfriend we all deserve in life. THIS BITCH AGAIN. Stop fucking shooting at the lesbians! Now steal his organs while they're still warm. Your girlfriend's gonna fucking kill them. Furry loli has become such an unexpected MVP of this show. I can't believe the final villain if this show is the damn genderswap boy version of the squad. You can go ahead and kill this particular bitch lesbian. I hope Tits McGee finally gets laid at the end of all this. Damn can't a hideously ugly lady take a shit in peace? Oh hey, Chisato's here. You probably could have used literally any other color for the non-lethal bullets so it doesn't look like you're murdering people. The Pac Man simulator cracked me up. Eat shit, robot douche. One last gag about his door. What on earth? Okay that's actually brilliant. And a happy ending for all-wait what do you mean the show's not over. Oh what the fuck now!? One Piece- Riku's having a real hard night. Oh no, not Vergo. Wait is that Violet? Oh hey, pre-harpy Monet. I forget, did we know Violet was the princess? Man this is a weird gang. The guy in the LET'S BABY shirt makes me uncomfortable. Well this is depressing as shit. Look I know they're all traumatized but I refuse to believe anyone would look at that slimy bastard and believe he's a good guy. I hope that horse at least had an alright time. Guys he's literally doing an evil cackle at your horiffic experience, do y'all not see that? Meanwhile, this fight is still going on? Franky is a gift and we don't deserve him. Gee I wonder who's secretly been Riku this whole time. That slinky dog getting cucked by his wife's new boyfriend is unreasonably funny to me. Time for a full on revolution! Great job guys, you fucked up this country. And then everyone was toys. Bartolomeo tried his best. Great job at the stealth thing, Luffy.

I deadass forgot we were getting a new show tonight so that was an actual fun surprise. Ninja- Techbro Douche here might have the most puncable face I've ever seen in an anime. Pay no attention to this truck with the big honkers painted all over it. Fuck off lady I'll be as angry as I want. Your identity has been thoroughly compromised at this point, you can get a less terrible haircut. "Ninjas can be very threatening," she says as I point-blank ignore whatever horrible bullshit is going on in Naruto right now. I like how that guy's mecha also gets giant hair. On the flip side those giant centipede things need to stay at least 400 feet away from me at all times. The dude does his own fight sound effects, kinda rooting for him here. Quick, shove one of those batteries up his ass! I respect this dude and his vibes. Look if that lady wanted her dream respected then she shouldn't have been such a shitty ninja. Girl you be nice to your work dad. Kinda wish he was my dad. Hey look, you know that guy! This is going way too well for them now. Zombie- Okay so the zombies regenerate when they eat prople, that's not a good thing. Oh false alarm it's just some nerd watching movies. I feel personally attacked by this opening scene. This girl is really cute, it's not gonna go well. Grown up jobs sure are depressing. This is deeply triggering. At least the cute girl is still here. Oh, that's gross. Why does this make me want to put a gun in my mouth? Show I'm really not a fan of this mirror you're hlding up to my own mental health here. Oh right, the show's about zombies. There's a door there, son. Hey, this means you don't have to go to work! Our boy's out here living his best life now. Now go find that cute girl and rail her! I am 100% on board with whatever this show wants to throw at me. Meanwhile, Truck-kun claims another victim. Ohhhh I really hope she's not a zombie. We stan a nerd king. AW FUCK. Hey why am I crying. Fingers crossed Woody Harrelson pulls up in a truck full of guns next. Licorice- Step aside, doucheag lesbians. Fuck you, robot. I love you, Tits McGee. Quick, go save your girlfriend! Meanwhile, furry loli casually solving the entire damn puzzle. Furry loli strikes again. Tits McGee is never getting laid. Where the fuck did this kid get a helicopter. God forbid you give these girls pants for their super elite secret mission. Oh I got a real bad feeling about this. Fuck ooooooff, douchebag lesbians. GO SAVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! Definitely got a giggle out of the roombas trying to clean up the murder scene. Man, fuck this guy and his stupid robot sidekick. Ah shit now you're framed for murder. Whelp, you're fucked. THE ROOMAS BETRAYED US. Look I'm just saying if Chisato and Mika don't get a sweet little father-daughter reunion at the end I'm flipping a table. Look at her go. Oh this is such a fucking trap. SHOOT HIM IN THE DICK. Honey I know you're a pacifist but just use him as a meat shield. I haaaaate this guy. What is this echolocation bat horseshit. She's not gonna fuck you, bro. LESBIAN POWERS, ACTIVATE. One Piece- What factory? God I love Bartolomeo so much. Oh right, the tournament is still going. Toy Soldier is best dad. Usopp asking the real questions here. Not that fucking bird bitch again! King Riku sounds like a chill dude, what the hell happened. Yeah yeah sure grandpa, kid's still hungry. And then the flamingo nation attacked. This is why everybody fucking hates you, Doflamingo. Oh yeah I'm sure he'll really let you buy it off of him. Okay so from everyone's point of view the king just went bonkers and started robbing them blind, I can see why they hate him. Oh yeah, people hate it when you fuck with their money. King's a good dude. Plan B: it's a pipe bomb! Wow these people are waaaaay more understanding that I would ever be. Oh this is going WAY too well. Fucking flamingo piece of shit bastard what did you do. Ah hell. Okay yeah, now I get why everybody turned on him. If I had a nickle every time I heard that in hentai, I'd be a millionare. Meanwhile, Doflamingo's definitely getting off on this. I forgot that slimy fucker existed and now my night is also ruined.

I swear I wasn't in jail I was just too lazy to watch anything til the last second. Ninja- I'm pretty sure this obvious lesbian was just in love with your wife, bro. Demon Slayer- Y'lknow what I'm not gonna question why Nezuko can magically cure poison now because she fixed my loud big titty boyfriend. Licorice- Just let the adorable lesbian and her tired gay dad be happy, show. One Piece- I need to know if Toy Soldier's human form is a dilf, this is extremely important.

[Commentary TBA because I discovered my fuckass sibling stole my credit card so now I gotta start dealing with this bullshit tonight]

Toriyama's death was announced on the 7th and Toonami released the marathon schedule four days later on the 11th. This was clearly a sudden thing they put together on extremely short notice to honor the man who made Toonami a household name. It's not like they had a contingency plan in place for what to do if the old but (as far as anyone knew) seemingly otherwise healthy man were to suddenly die with no warning. It would feel a lot weirder if they'd waited 2-3 weeks to cultivate a marathon of specific unrelated episodes before acknowledging his passing. Plus, we know from One Piece that they have direct contact with Toei, and that mourning Toriyama has impacted their current shows in production; the studio may have actually requested they do a marathon asap to celebrate one of their most significant creators while the news is still fresh.

Ninja- Could you take a break from speaking in cryptic riddles for like 20 seconds? Wait you mean you chose to make your hair look like that, lady? I really didn't ask for your life story here. Look I'm willing to watch him die as long as he takes out that horrible dwarf in the process. Cop guy is really going through it. Oh hey, did he survive past his retirement? I feel like you maybe should have figured out the power source thing before you burned the ninja bridge and went on the run. Sorry your wife was such a shitty ninja. Todoroki confirmed to be the best ninja. No that's not a secret hideout it's just our underground weed growing operation. I do respect this guy's commitment to the look. Hey, she said the thing! Well no shit he won't wake up if you stab him in the heart. I didn't remember that was a mystery but sure, guess it's solved now. I hate this fucking guy. You keep the name of dilfs out of your creepy mouth. It's only funny when I'm uncomfortably horny for dilfs and he's infringing on my brand. For fuck's sake somebody kill him already. I need an adult. I feel like this is what Mineta turns into in a very bad future. Whelp, she's dead. Oh dang, the world's shittiest ninja actually did a thing. Demon Slayer- Previously, I killed everything I love and those hoes are gonna beat my ass. Remember you can always use Zenitsu as a meat shield. Tanjiro you really kinda suck at this whole demon slayer thing. Oh hey, Nezuko gets to talk for a change. This is what, like the fourth innner mind pep talk he's gotten from his family this arc? If Zenitsu dies I'll go ahead and take the L on all the deaths. You can always bond over your weird sisters. OWWWWW. Sounds like somebody's projecting here. Cheese it! Maybe the rest of the hoes can come in and help instead of whatever the fuck they're currently doing. Good job, throw a satchel at him. My back is currently hurting like a motherfucker so I'd take that deal in a heartbeat. Headbutt! Good job kiddo you didn't fuck up for once. Oh come the fuck on with the inner mind pep talk moments. Sometimes a good beheading is the greatest gift of all. Oh good, Zenitsu is unfortunately still alive. I'm fine with him dying for the greater good. False alarm, Tanjiro still sucks at this. MY BOYFRIEND! His tits are too fat to die. He is getting so laid after this fight. Who needs two arms when your dick has its own gravitational pull. Tanjiro do literally anything helpful for a change. OWWWW, again. For the love of all fuck just die already. Ah hell he's going super saiyan. MY FERAL HOG SON! This weird little bastard really dislocated his goddamn heart. Jesus christ fucking finally. Thanks for showing up and doing nothing, hoes. And then everyone died anyways. Inosuke standing in for the boar genuinely made me laugh. Licorice- I don't like where this is going. Quick, save your girlfriend! Whelp, we're boned. No, go out there and kill that bitch. No more poop snacks for you. Look buddy if you tailgate me I'll kill us both. That's the best way to deal with road rage assholes. Fuck off lady she's literally dying. What are you gonna do, fire her? No not the douchebag lesbians. Give her a break, her girlfriend's dying. Loli just let the sad gay dad have a moment. Sorry your ex is such a festering bag of cocks. Poor kid's got one hell of a case of boneitis. I never noticed he had a fucked up leg. Are y'all gonna make out for me or not. Congratulations, you're a dad now. Tiny Chisato is goddamn adorable. Happy birthday, have a gun. Yeah y'know, one of those helpful guns. I hate this robot shitbag. Awwww she's taking her on a date. Kiss each other on the mouth. Hey why am I crying? DBZ- Thanks for everything, old man. Hope you're up there enjoying it.

Or it's a well-meaning tribute to the creator of the series that literally made Toonami a success all those years ago, you cynical bag of unused toilet paper.

Ninja- What a douchebag. Maybe you should treat that girl to a better haircut next time. Is that guy supposed to be Jason Demarco's anime self-insert character? I just wanna have a talk with whoever suggested the weird horny dwarf for this show. Honestly this just feels like how every Twitter meeting probably goes. Joe is hot and normally that would concerned, but I'm betting on him surviving so that they can use him for a sequel. Happy new year! Meanwhile I continue to be very sure that this cop two days before retirement is going to get murdered to all hell. No offense but the list of 60-something year old men who I'd trust with my life includes Joseph Joestar and Monkey D Garp and absolutely not this normal-ass cop dude or my own father. I like to watch him fight. What a shock, the zillion-dollar shady company is in fact corrupt as all fuck. You killed Pacman, you bastards! I'm gonna need y'all to stop cutting away from the hot ninja man slicing people apart. Maybe after this you can get some therapy for that PTSD. Look it's funny when I say weird horny shit but not when this creepy weirdo does it. Oh he's got a real death wish, he's never gonna get to die. Please kill the weird horny dwarf. He's not having a good time here. Honey just stay down and then crawl to a hospital later. Oh yeah I'm real sure that our main character is about to die less than halfway through the series. Surprise, he's a good guy! In all fairness to Demarco, if I were in his shoes I would absolutely pay a show to insert a better-looking anime version of myself into the story but that's because I'm fully aware and supportive of the fact that porn would generate itself into the universe immediately. Demon Slayer- Somehow this arc really ended up as Invincible Incel vs Ultimate Chad. Seriously do you want a backup wife because I am very much available. The hoes are out here in their nicest formal graveyard lingerie. Oh I'll give you a tongue lashing alright. They're all thirsty and I would fit in perfectly with them. So uh, try not to get stabbed with the blender arms. No not the least obnoxious wife! Oh no he's two days from retirement, his survival odds just dropped like a rock. Tanjiro I'm pretty sure 90% of your organs are ground beef right now, just sit down. And then our good boy died. Remember you can always use Zenitsu as a meat shield. For the love of fuck please do not let Zenitsu wake up at any point. I don't think necks are supposed to do that. The fuck was that? Aren't there two more hoes running around who could be doing something to help? Okay yeah this one is definitely my fault. Lady you're kind of a shitty demon slayer. Inosuke's wall-eyed hog gaze in what's supposed to be a serious moment is unreasonably funny to me. I would follow that feral hog into hell, zero questions asked. Surprise attack, manual chainsaw! Well thank god that's finished-wait what do you mean the arc's not over yet. How the fuck are you still alive? NO NOT MY PIG SON. NOOOO NOT MY HOT BOYFRIEND. Tanjiro you're kind of a really shitty demon slayer. Licorice- Shut up and go fuck your ex you shady creep. I keep forgetting this show has an actual plot. Bad news we're broke. Girl can't budget for shit. I need her to control my finances next. Fuck you pay me. MY LEG. Now that's how you settle disputes. Oh that looks like shit. Now your'e getting known as the poop dessert cafe. Exploit your furry loli refugee. This girl sure gets a lot of physicals. Just make out alrady. HALLOWEEN. People pay good money for the cute pumpkin witch. No, not the money! Oh sweet we get a dishwasher. That robot slave seems like a bad idea. STONKS. Oh you found out about the poop fetish. Okay I kinda love that robot. Oh right, the show's actual plot. Everyone loves Die Hard. Yippe ki-ya, motherfucker. Bro you think she remembers every douchebag loser with a guy she fights? Oh, that's kinda terrifying. Sweetie the club might not actually be out to save the world. Parkour! Mika needs a hug and a better boyfriend. You're basically married already. Insert obligatory doge meme here. I'm with her, needles are awful. Do not trust that lady. Ah hell. Ohhhh that can't be good. One Piece- What factory? God I love Barto. Huh, it makes sense that there's a hospital down there. Sorry dude, grandpa's dead. MOOCY! I got a bad feel about this, Scoob. Tonight's theme is fucked up medical exams. Welcome to the Island of Misfit Toys. Surprise, Doflamingo is a douchebag. This guy's really embraced the wrestling heel persona. Rebecca's a good kid and I like that she's got two dozen random fighter uncles here. Luffy does not have the attention span for flashbacks. This guy's fine, he doesn't need bones. NO CAPES. Whelp, she's dead. I'm uncomfortable with this. Thanks, lady whose name I forgot! I like this lady she's nice. Well, that lady's dead. Look girl sometimes pacifism just doesn't cut it. Why do you even want that fruit if you're so opposed to the idea of hurting anyone in a fight? Oh right, Cabbage is here. I like him running in place like a Scooby Doo character. Meanwhile, more Barto shenanigans. YESSSS.

Me yelling at my screen as I watch those two middle aged men get within mouth distance of each other.

Honestly I'm surprised they even let Naruto end at all and it hasn't continued as increasingly-irrelevant filler to this day. Ninja- Never trust a douchebag with a voice changer. The phrase "ninja poem" is unreasonably funny to me. Who ordered the tragic backstory? Well hey, these two can bond over the sad dead kids thing. Ah yes the Dark Web where every page is decorated with a huge DARK WEB banner at the top. This girl with terrible hair annoys me. No offense but it sounds like your wife was kind of a shitty ninja. Meanwhile at Facebook headquarters, whatever the fuck this is. I respect this dude doing his hair in the middle of the evil villain meeting. Someone please kill that weird horny man. No don't choke him, you're only making him harder. It's murderin' time. Really, she just kept the ninja name she got from the murder cult they escaped from? No wonder they got found out. I dunno guys, this sure seems like an emotional connection you're forming with each other. And then they fucked. Third wheel incoming. Oh, it's that one guy. This cop is absolutely getting the shit murdered out of him the day before retirement. Oh sure, five seconds is plenty of time to do shit. You're looking for the most generic white man I've ever seen. Parkour! Great job, you blew it. I'm sure this will be a happy reunion between friends. Demon Slayer- I wish Nezuko got to be in the show. Oh right, the incel demon is here. Goddamn he's hot. I miss my other boyfriend. Your brother looks like a douchebag. He took the radical move of not treating his wives like shit. Ah hell he's dying. It's weird how this bitch went from a massive threat to a pathetic whiny brat. HOG SON, GO. Remember to use Zenitsu as a meat shield. Tanjiro half your organs are ruined just sit this one out. Lady you're dying, you also sit this one out. Good job Tanjiro you can count to two. He can be as obnoxious as he wants when his biceps are bigger than my head. For the love of god nobody wake up Zenitsu. She does have a point there, he is ugly as all fuck. Big deal you've got a hideous third eye now, I'm shaking in my boots. Tanjiro honey you kind of suck at this. Just let me fuck him once before he's violently murdered defending the kids. Kiddo if you break another sword I'm pretty sure you're fired. This could be going better. Oh damn, lady showed up somethin' fierce today. Uh babe what was your plan with getting yourself stabbed. MY LEG. Tanjiro don't fuck this up. Licorice- I hate these other lesbians. As weeb-tastic as that drawing is, it's not wrong. So does furry loli not have parents and I completely forgot that part or what. But what kind of underpants are you wearing? I hope that man's out getting laid, leave him alone. Y'all can make out any time you want. Tits Mcgee here is a mood. Dude's absolutely sporting one hell of a fight boner right now. I'm fine with that hideous lady getting attacked. Maybe you should give your guard more than just a single bulletproof vest for protection. Oh great it's this bitch again. Now I just feel bad for that one girl who's stuck as her partner. I hope she gets hit by a car next. Her outfit is so pretty. We're just two teen lesbians on a fancy date, nothing weird about that. He looks good in the suit. Everybody in this show is gay. Goddammit girl you're ruining their date. Okay furry loli with the fake ID got me. I didn't know I wanted these two middle aged dudes to make out but for fuck's sake let these two dudes make out. Really should have shot your ex when you had the chance. Get it, Tits Mcgee! There has to be one straight man in this town who will plow Tits Mcgee into next week. Oh right, the plot. One Piece- I'm sure this Kaido guy won't be important at all later. Don't tease me with it just give me the tragic backstory already. Goddamn Law is hot. Eat fish, douchebag! RIP fish. Don't worry Chopper I'm sure Law will be totally fine in this fight. I love Brook so much. With Zoro's tits all over the place, sometimes I forget that Sanji is also really hot. You okay there, Momo? It's okay kiddo you're just suffering from a metric assload of PTSD here. Uhhh kid if Doflamingo caught him then I'm pretty sure your friend is dead. Aaaaand there goes Hot Mode Sanji. Violet says fuck this TV in particular. I wonder if this man-turned-horse that Violet's riding is enjoying it. Bartolomeo is having the best day of his life. This man is an absolute mood. That is also how I'd react if Zoro yelled at me. He's so happy. Meanwhile meanwhile, oh right there's a fight going on. We call him Rolling Logan because his name is Logan and he rolls people. Maybe if Rebecca wins this match they'll let her have some pants. I really need to know if Soldier's real form is hot. I think it's debatable that she's never wounded anyone when her primary method of fighting is forcing them into the moat where they'll be attacked my murder fish.

Yeah, I would absolutely be fooled by the Superman just puts on glasses trick. Ninja- And then these guys were murdered, crashed and exploded. I could go for some steak. This weirdo's got one hell of a murder-boner and I can respect that. He's got some real Hisoka-style horny violence vibe. Look I get that he's wearing a mask but the muffled voice thing does make it harder to understand. Man it's gonna suck when this old cop guy gets violently murdered 20 minutes before retirement. Meanwhile, PTSD's a hell of a drug. NO NOT THE DUCK. Ninjas, not even once. This isn't whiskey, this is stale, warm Red Bull. I am now emotionally attached to that duck and am rooting for its safety above all else. And now an interlude for a tacky romance movie. People who care constantly late, I need you to know that those of us who are on time hate you with every fiber of our beings. I'm sure this shady tech monopoly here is a fine and upstanding company. Fucking techbros. And then sword. Quit blowing holes in my car! Truck-kun strikes again. Maybe that guy can get isekai'd into a fantasy realm where good cops aren't killed right before retirement. I can't say the plot of this show is really grabbing me but damn if the fights don't make up for it. Oh you know the creep is gonna be jacking off to this video later. Demon Slayer- I'm glad Nezuko finally gets to do something but not happy that she had to turn into a thirst trap to do it. Nezuko can be a little unhinged, as a treat. Meanwhile, Tanjiro's really going through it today. You're doing amazing, sweetie. I support my berserker murder daughter with all my heart. Look if this lady is dumb enough to stand there bleeding right next to a demon fight then maybe she deserves to get eaten. Nezuko honey put on some clothes. Tanjiro let her go kill the hot murder bitch. Hey, new husband. My dude she's like 14. Oh damn that was quick. And now, Inosuke time. Oh good Zenitsu's still asleep, he'll be tolerable now. Sorry Tanjiro you're gonna have to go take your sister out back and give her the Ol Yeller special. I'll also have a mental breakdown if I think too hard about my dead mom. So why can't Nezuko talk? Put her back in her box, she's done enough. Stab her in the tits and go. Bitch why won't you die. Wait what. Well this got weird. Ah hell am I gonna get this one killed too. Oh don't let this guy know how many women you're railing in your free time. Tanjiro just stay back, let my feral hog son handle this. "I'm hot and get sucked off three times a day" is probably not the smartest thing to tell the incel demon. Hey you have four wives now, don't forget about me. Start carving up the tombstone for this one now. Licorice- I'm still not entirely convinced that hideous man is actually a woman. Will you two just kiss already. Wait, do they not just live at the cafe? Her pajamas are really cute. Oh y'all can rock paper Scissor alright. I could go for some watermelon. No one likes you, robot douche. And now, nerds. Oh that's nasty. Oh yeah breaking into the trained killer orphan hideout is going to go just great for you guys. My window! Y'know it never occurred to me that there might be a boy version of the super orphan task force too. Of course she's not interested in boys, this is the super teenage lesbian show. MY DOOR. Kill that douchebot and save yourself some trouble. Well you're all wearing the same uniform it's not that hard to spot you. They'll never recognize you dressed as a giant marshmallow peep. My door, again! This is all your faut. furry loli. Tonight's theme is getting hit by trucks. POCKET SAND GUN. Did she shoot his eyes out? This is not going well. I'm a simple woman, I hear someone yell out MY LEG like the fish from Spongebob and I laugh. Lesbian rescue, go! Boobs Mcgee is a good getaway driver. Drone to the face, motherfucker! We gotta turn furry loli into the cops now. Douchebot's door getting kicked in is a running joke I can get behind. Oh no, he's got a crush on her. Kiss each other on the mouth already. One Piece- No offense to Sanji but I have very little faith in him not getting his ass beat. And then he got his ass beat. Wel lbuddy the important thing is you tried. Can we just throw this lady off the boat already. Law used LOG, it's super effective! You can just throw Caesar overboard. Now cheese it! What factory? No don't take Caesar with you. I'm sure this Zou place won't be significant. Yes the loyalty is admirable but you should probably just run while you have the chance. Oh right, Fujitora's still here. Use Caesar and the fat lady as meat shields. Thanks Law. Fujitora is a good dude. I can't believe we were betrayed by clouds. Use her immense fat to protect yourself from attacks. Meanwhile, Barto's having the best day ever. Fanboy that's nice but we're kinda looking for actual answers here. The strongest force in this series is whatever double-sided tape Rebecca is using to keep that bikini in place. I'm here for the wholesome gladiator buddies. I'm not sure what she just did but good job. Guys you don't understand Usopp's committed some pretty serius identity theft and needs to flee immediately. Thank god Law has a hostage or else that man would be fucked. It's really sweet that he has so much faith in our idiot crew. Yeah I'm sure this alliance is ending soon and isn't gonna last another decade. Ooooh I sense a tragic flashback ahead.

I can't hate Cabbage, he's just as much of a hilarious dipshit as everyone else around Luffy. Ninja- They do everything for peace, says the gang of child-murdering ninjas. This show asks the deep philosophical question of whether a man still counts as a dilf if he's been rendered childless via violent ninja murder. Kitties! Oh no he used the forbidden jutsu. I'm always up for some good revenge fightin' so I'm cool with this. Stab him in the dick. This is some mid-2000's edgelord dialogue but he's hot so I'll allow it. Oh this guy's about to retire, he's definitely about to fucking die. This lady's haircut is so awful. Sir you take that baggy hoodie off right now before I lose interest. Oh boy, time to watch some small-town douchebag cops get their shit kicked in. Fuck it, I'll be your new wife. I find this cop lady deeply irritating. Well this omnipotent technology company sure doesn't sound shady and ominous as all fuck. Yeah so fun story about his face, buddy. Cop dude you are about to get murdered. Uh I don't think that's the Doordash guy. Surprise, he's hotter now. Fuck you and your extra arms, buddy. JOE used FLAMETHROWER, it's super effective! Oh that old restaurant guy is gonna be pissed. My stream shit out after the building exploded so I have no idea if anything happened after that. Demon Slayer- I would let this bitch kill me. Try not to chuck your sword uselessly at the demon, kiddo. This is also how I react when I hope a hot man's about to show up. Sorry random schmuck, you're gonna die. Well Tanjiro you may have sucked and failed but the important thing is you tried. What inside, there's no walls left. Hey, garbage dilf! I could fix him. Tanjiro may be bad at his job but he's a sweet boy. Was his dad a hashira, did we know that? I want Inosuke to befriend the muscle mice. I'll get on my knees for you, baby. The women have spoken, go to work. Being a demon is great, you eat for free and don't have to wear pants. It's a crime to call Tanjiro hideous when Zenitsu is just around the corner. It's fine, his organs will explode later. There he go. And then Tanjiro died. Nezuko time! You got this, sweetie! Uhhh Nezuko may not got this. BEAT HER ASS. Nezuko honey put some clothes on. Is this like some kind of hornier version of that time Gon turned into an adult? Licorice- Yeah it sure is suspiciously lucky that the empty train crashed in a completely empty station, nothing weird about that. You still wearing boy's underpants? Well that's depressing, y'all are on a Make a Wish request. I don't trust Steven Hawking here. Huh, cyborg heart. Y'know what I can't even snark at this, it's genuinely sweet. Meanwhile, surprise the train got hit by guns. Cheese it, it's the feds! I have no memory of these cops being in the series before. Surely this won't be plot-relevant later. Chisato the man is dying there ain't gonna be a second trip. Uh shouldn't at least one of you be guarding him inside the boat? Lesbians. Silent Gene has to be the funniest name for a hitman I've ever heard. Hey you shot my robot.Hey don't kick the hot lady. Aim for his dick! Hot lady to the rescue. His coat may be bulletproof but dicks rarely are. How the fuck do you lose track of an immobile old man in a wheelchair? Get out of the open, idiots! This old man's final request is violent revenge and I support that. Hot lady is having a rough day. Grandpa, shutting himself off life support when he can't commit vicarious murder. Well that's a weird twist. The fuck is your deal, bro. I know this is supposed to be serious but watching that random girl get nailed by a car with zero warning made me laugh. Just fuck already. One Piece- I miss Vivi. Throw that lady off your boat before she forces you into another art exhibit. Brook might be my favorite Strawhat and that's impressive when his competition is both Nami's and Zoro's tits. Why would you make them take Caesar, that's such a mean thing to do to them. Yeah sure lady just go ahead and run your mouth here. Thank you, Momo. Meanwhile, tournament arc continues. I'm rooting for that random lion. Okay so it's not just Rebecca, I guess all the lady gladiators have to wear the ridiculous chainmail bra. Cabbage is doing surprisingly well here. Oh no we've got a fight between two Handsome Squidwards. You fool, only Cavendish is allowed to be that much of an attention whore. The fangirls are losing their minds. I like that all the gladiators are rooting for Rebecca. Now, back to the thrilling adventures of Law Regrets Everything. I didn't know you could just get kicked out of the Douchebag 1% Rich Asshole Club. Fujitora, still a good dude. Go ahead and crush that heart to double-check if it's Caesar's. Well RIP that random schmuck. I like that Law made sure to take his hat with him when he warped. Oh right, the murder fish are here too. Quick, feed the hag to the fish! Law it's really cute that you think any plan with the Strawhats is gonna work. And right on schedule, the plan fucks up. Quick, throw the fat lady at him and run! Hey look, Sanji's helping instead of being cringe!

I can't think about anything I care less about than a sneak peak of Rick & Morty: The Anime. Ninja- Alright the fights look cool I'm on board. Well that's a lot of blood. CORN, again. Not now, child! Hello there, milf. Mommy can take me out too if she wants. Well this sounds like we've got an ominous backstory ahead of us. Surely nothing terrible is going to happen to this happy little country family. Okay yeah this dub sounds weirdly cheap. Show I don't got all night, get to the tragedy already. That ominous red light is probably fine. I hope that kid's a heavy sleeper. Owww throat. Were they robots who just bleed a whole bunch or what? Show me his dick you cowards. Surprise, you're immortal now. Hey guy with a large breathing tube shoved down his throat, you wanna talk to us? Bro's just straight up not having a good time here. Well this could be going better. Goddamn hospital ninjas popping out of nowhere. Aw fuck it's a shadow clone jutsu. Sir you're a black guy in a horror setting, you need to leave the building for your own safety. And now, someone who deserves to get murdered. No seriously are they robots? Oh so he was the hot guy from the trailer all along. I'm just gonna guess ninja cyborg shapeshifters until otherwise corrected. If nothing else, at least we know I can't kill this guy. Demon Slayer- Hey you found one of your wives. Lady you kinda suck as a demon slayer. My dude if you want another wife who didn't get tricked into drinking poison I am available. Awfully empty street considering it's the sex block at night. Tanjiro just keeps failing at using those swords. I enjoy Inosuke being dumb as all fuck. Hi there, random dead boyfriend. Hey, look at him do a thing! False alarm, he is not good at this. Don't call Shinobu, she's scary. This show's sense of comedic timing is so inconsistent and off. Like, Tanjiro was doing the funky little dot-eye face, so that scene was supposed to be funny I guess? Inosuke continues to be a delight. The boar child is now a snake. Congratulations you found the titty magazine hideout. You can go ahead and just leave Zenitsu here. I'm here for Inosuke fatshaming this weird belt demon. Titties ahoy. Zenitsu gets to be useful exactly one time per arc and he's cashing that in now. He's right, stay asleep forever. Stephanie Sheh is here as the big-tittied shy ditzy one, never seen that one before. Thanks, disturbingly buff mice minions. Seriously dude I am begging you to consider an extra wife. Our husband has given us permission to have feminism, thanks. Can't stop staring at their boobs. I also have more tits than brains, I'd fit right in with this family. Licorice- GUN. No you're here for wacky shenanigans, did you not read the memo? Man I suck at video games. There will be no survivors in thsi cafe. Eat shit, douchebag lesbians. Weird underpants subplot, go. This got weird. Meanwhile let's see what furry loli is up to. Is this entire episode just a thinly-veiled excuse to show the cute lesbians buying underpants? This got real weird. I'm with her, keep the desserts coming til I go into a ooma. Why is hacker loli the only one doing any kind of work this week? Just make out already. What is she looking for her real family or something? The guy who gave you that is evil and you're going to have to kill him, calling it now. I like that all the background characters are supporting the lesbians on their date. I'd like to go to penguin island. Man you are literally radiating out evil douchebag energy. Hey look, the plot's back. Fuck this train in particular. Lesbians, attack! Yes there's a national emergency going on but we've gotta go home and show each other our panties. This episode is really weird. Oh great the robot asshole is back. One Piece- Law, still having the worst fucking day. Surely this history lesson won't be relevant at any point later. Oh hey, that's Vivi! Of course this flamingo bag of dicks is part of the biggest group of dicks. Meanwhile, Brook is best Straw Hat. The skull jokes never get old. Sanji you know goddamn well that no one here can follow a plan. Guys those bars are huge, you can just step through them. He can cut it quietly. Bartolomeo is my spirit animal. It's okay Brook, you tried. Meanwhile on the Sunny, things were going better until they weren't. Somebody help we're trapped in the world's shittiest abstract art museum. In a surprise twist, Giolla is defeated after receiving a DMCA takedown notice from Roham Kishibe for the unauthorized use of the term Heaven's Door. Hey it's my wife. That guy's head just exploded. Violet is cool and I like her. Goddammit Sanji. But can you see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch? She looks like a witch from a bargain-basement Soviet era knockoff of Madoka. Good job, again .OH MY GOD JUST DIE ALREADY. Surprise assist from Momo. Oh no lady it's fine, we like it when the ship is hit by lightning.

Demon Slayer- Wasn't this lady evil last week? Is this a completely different lady? Y'all can just let Zenitsu die offscreen. I love my dumb bastard pig son. Oh look, a reason for me to care about this arc has appeared. I hope Zenitsu is dead. Baby I'll be your new wife if any of them got killed off. Who the hell is this kid? Where did this ranking thing come from? No seriously, y'all really don't have to try and rescue Zenitsu. Absolutely do not trust this unnaturally kind lady in the fuckhouse. Genuinely surprised there's exactly one person smart enough to figure out they were boys. Look if there's a rich guy willing to pay my bills and marry me I would not give less of a shit about everybody else here. I'd be on board with these two as lesbians. Inosuke is using all three of his braincells here. I am deeply disturbed by the muscular rats. Hello there future husband. He's hot enough to get away with doing the stupid Naruto run. Honestly wouldn't mind dying like that. Maybe that man with fat tits and massive arms could simply seduce this woman. Nezuko time? Maybe you should just let your stronger demon sister help you fight more often. She's got a nice rack but she's annoying so I'm waiting for her to die. Dr Stone- Time to go to space, Kars. Well duh, he's not gonna use himself as a guinea pig. Ah hell that douchebag overused it and now it's busted. Taiju is a good boy. Awww, everybody. Welcome back, Kars. You heard the lady, get it girl. Goddammit Senku. It's cool, it's not the first time he's gone to space. I think they're all regretting the decision to revive Ginro. Hot man fight, go! Damn that was quick. Why did we bring back Officer ACAB. Joke's on you, Senku doesn't give a shit. Aww cute, they all put their scars back. This is gonna be one hell of a fetch quest. I need a hypercompetent French butler to bake me infinite bread. We've all played Oregon Trail, you can't wait too long to head out. These two teaming up is terrifying. Holy shit they made a wholeass planetarium. I would also choose the giant robot city. Shut up, Officer ACAB. It's fine, Kars can just punch people to death. Oh he's gonna fucking kill you. We stan a pansexual king. GENTLEMEN, I GIVE YOU...CORN. I'm so sorry you have to go to Iowa. Tiny Senku finally gets to live out his dream. Licorice- Any character will look significantly more adorable if you put them in pigtails. Loli have you even gone to bed at all yet. Oh sweet, board games. I'm banned from playing multiple board games because of various anger issues. I could go for some candy. Fuck off, girls. This girl is ugly and she sucks. Everyone in this building is terrible. Wait, that hideous who looks like that one fanboy douchebag in AOT is actually a hideous woman? Hi there, obvious lesbian. Obvious lesbian is a bitch. I hate all of you. Punch her in the face. Superpowered orphans love fountains. Surprise, it's a conspiracy! Now kiss. Get yourself a cute girlfriend who will bash in someone's face for you. GUN time. Wow that girl is dumb as shit. PUNCH. Good job girls I'm proud of you. Seriously y'all can kiss any time you want. Meanwhile Sniper Jesus is having a good time. One Piece- Someone give Rebecca a hug and some pants. Well at least the other gladiators are nice to her. Oh hey, thanks Cabbage. It seems slightly unfair that he gets to bring his horse into the fight with him. Fangirls are brutal. You're a good dude afterall, Cabbage. Bye horse! Me too Luffy. Everyone is horny for him. The attention whore has finally gotten enough attention, it's all good now. Oh shit it's a lion. Meanwhile, Law continues to have the worst day. Do not hand over that clown, he's your only bargaining chip. Oh right, I forgot Fujitora's still here. You're a good dude, Fujitora. Meanwhile meanwhile, FOXBUS. Okay so we got half the Strawhats back together. I love that literally everyone hates Doflamingo. Goddammit Usopp. Meanwhile meanwhile meanwhile, Zoro's trying his best. You gotta fight the weird Picasso lady. Wicca is so cute. Oh hey, the others. Oh hey Violet, again. I enjoy Wicca just chilling there in Zoro's cleavage because girl, same. Oh neat Rebecca's got some moves. The strongest force in One Piece is whatever double-sided tape is keeping these women's tits contained.

I hope we all enjoyed that Rebecca flashback because we're definitely not going to see it about 97 more times. Demon Slayer- Hey I'm pretty sure one of these hoes is a demon. This random schmuck is definitely gonna try and bang one of the boys. This girl's got a real great rack. I wouldn't trust Zenitsu to find his own ass with a map and two sherpas, that hot wife is absolutely dead already. It's fine, Detective Inosuke is on the case with all two of his brain cells. Goddammit Inosuke! Meanwhile Zenitsu also ruins everything. You can go ahead and kill Zenitsu. Meanwhile meanwhile Tanjiro continues to be the only good boy in town. So is every woman in town blind or just too dumb to realize these are dudes? Maybe if you weren't such a bitch, the other hookers wouldn't keep killing themselves. Stab her, granny! Sorry granny, the important thing is you tried. Mark me down as scared and horny. Weren't you a ten-year old kid like a week ago? Lady everybody is begging you to stop being a cunt for like 20 minutes. I have no idea is this is the same hot bitch demon who just yeeted that old woman off the roof and was simping for the big bad or if this is an entirely different hot bitch demon in another house who looks just like her. Thanks show, you made me hate Christmas. Dr Stone- SPACE. Unfreeze all the thing! I'm glad this hot man is having a nice day. Oh, bald guy is staying here I guess. Congratulations, you're king now. Lotta manual labor ahead, y'all. My first order as king is that everyone be friends. Taiju just casually lifting a tree, no g deal. Uh hey Senku you okay there buddy? What is that a bomb? Luking French kid wandering around in the dark. Science is so cool, I wish I could understand any of it. Ah, the old noodle trick. Step two, everybody gets glasses. You're a good dude, bald guy. Here, have this violent lesbian to aid in your quest. Good, we're taking the hot new guy with us. Launch the fireworks! Yeah those fireworks are a real scientific miracle until it's two in the goddamn morning and you have to be up for work in five hours. Awwww, baby Senku. Oh is it time for me to cry again? Ryusui is our heartwarming douchebag king. Oh my god I hope we have a punchfight on the moon. I hope Nikki wins and gets to go to the moon. Oh shit, they're bringing back Kars? Look if somebody wants to shove Ginro off the boat i'm not gonna complain. He said the thing! Yeah because it went so well the last time somebody sent Kars to space. Licorice- Oh no, it's gamers. I don't trust that shady guy. Nah, there's always time for food. Welcome to the lesbian train. I want to punch this douchey-looking redheaded guy with bad hair. I think we should let her drive, even if she probably goes right into a tree. Good news your Furry Uber is here. What's in the box, your extra fursuit? That robot douche hacked our shitty uber! GUN. Fuck your drone, loser. Quick, you gotta save his spare fursuit! Have fun beating the shit out of these trained mercenaries, girls. Well that dude's dead. Duct tape and vaseline, the key to any medical emergency. Thanks, nice mercenary dude. RIP furry, you were a real one. Oh look, the shady guy is in on it. Furry surprie! BEER ME. I kinda love this lady. Plot twist, the furry was an adorable little girl all along. He has a point, give me snacks and all will be forgiven. Furry surprise, again! Don't tell the shady guy about the small child hiding in your closet. One Piece- He'll be fine, Franky's with him. So how many people in this country are banging some kind of hideous clown toy? It's fine, five-second rule. Oh no, tragic backstory! War were declared. Goddammit Steven Tyler! I don't remember if they've explicitly said Toy Solder is Rebecca's father or not but if not, I'm pretty sure he's her father. Remember kids, if you get hungry your parents will die and it'll be all your fault. Here sad child, your mother's dying wish was to give you this ham. We got a real Lion King moment on our hands here. Everybody hates Doflamingo. Look you'd be fully justified in backhanding that sobbing child. I'm sure this isn't a shady ploy that Doflamingo was heavily involved in staging. Toy Soldier is a good dude. Forget everything else, I just want this giant nutcracker to be happy. Obviously this flashback is going too well, something terrible is going to happen. Something bad, right on schedule. BEAT SOME ASS. Why don't y'all just leave Dressrosa? Rebecca your mom told you not to fight and then she died. Shit, why does everybody hate her? Oh, that's why.

I imagine you have to say the title with an exasperated groan at the end. Demon Slayer- Date me you obnoxious motherfucker. Shut up Zenitsu. Well then y'all better start running and catch up. Sorry large man they're all idiots. Take a look at the hookers, boys. I hate Zenitsu so much. Wives plural? Aww, he's a good husband. DO YOU WANT A FOURTH ONE? Keep punching the annoying one, it's doing things for me. Oh dang they're hot. This sure is an attempt at humor. Inosuke is already freakishly pretty, how did you mess that up. SHUT UP ZENITSU. "My customers have a fetish for ugly chicks." Be the best whore you can be, Inosuke. Well at least he can jam. We all just wanna get railed by the large hot man. Joke's on you lady, Zenitsu sucks. Meanwhile Tanjiro being a good boy...girl...whatever. Goddamn window demons. Catch my ass skipping out on my student loans like that. Oh no his hot wives are kidnapped by demons aren't they. Sweet, free candy! That's definitely a demon ain't it. Man she got to that Top Hooker position in record time. I volunteer to be your substitute wife until your regular ones return. Meanwhile Inosuke is suffering. I know this is supposed to be a serious moment but I can't stop staring at her enormous cans. Dr Stone- Aww, he unfroze Chrome first. I love this. Did you really not think to make a charger? Ah hell now that's ominous. I forgot about the divorce thing. Please wake up best girl Nikki immediately. I love crafter grandpa. You really don't have to wake up Officer Acab. Oh right, our twink was dying. He's okay! Tonight's theme is titties. Awww hugging. Sorry, Senku's only love is science. And now we party. Why do I feel like something bad's about to happen? The what now? Oh that's ominous. You asshole! WHAT. I'm just gonna guess timetraveling evil Senku from an alternate universe. Taiju is a good boy. Ryusui is a gift and we don't deserve him. Fucking Vocaloids. Bro what is with your memory. Cat fight, go! I sure hope you're not reviving the village idiot. Oh hey, he's kinda hot. This is going well. Oh no don't give Ginro any ideas. FUCKING ALIENS. Science, out! Oh shit this douchebag's in space? Oh fuck yeah guys we're going to the moon! Licorice- I am never gonna remember how to spell this show's name. GUN. This is going well. Stairs, the greatest enemy of all. What's up with Sniper Jesus here? Boobs ahoy. You're a loose cannon, turn in your gun and badge. Owls? Lady I find it hard to believe you can't find a man. Hey there, Sniper Jesus. She's got a point, that sounds fucked up. Welcome to the Wacky Shenanigans Team. I like them. I'm sure none of this conversation will be important later. I already hate this douchebag. Here, have some orphans. I hope it's a sandwich. Coffee, close enough. We're the Random Menial Tasks Division. That asymmetrical jacket design is gonna annoy me for this entire series. Oh good, a creepy middle-aged man. I'd trust them with my life. Maybe they're just jealous of your hot boyfriend. Oh shit, a clue. Guys if you didn't immediately decide to murder this random instagram lady, you wouldn't be attracting all this suspicion. I miss having sleepovers. GUN TIME. This is going well. Update I would die for this ditz. Oh I immediately don't like this shady fucker. Lady don't be a hater. Somebody's absolutely about to blow up a building nearby. One Piece- Previously and to everyone's surprise, the main character won. Fuck you,, Jesus! Calm down Cabbage Boy. Hey you shut up about his hot dead brother, random guy. Barto is a gift and we don't deserve him. Remember the time Buggy got hit by lightning? I love Fanboy Barto. Fuck off, Cabbage. We stan a fanboy king. It's fine, Douchebag Santa is your friend now. I desperately need Bartolomeo and Hancock to meet and be best friends. Tonight's theme continues to be titties. Constantly wondering how Rebecca manages to keep her boobs contained in that top. Aw fuck it's Blackbeard. Even his snail phone is hideous. You shut up about my hot dead boyfriend, asshole! Hold up, snack break. Oh no there's definitely a tragic backstory coming up. Who the fuck is that guy? I find it very hard to believe Luffy can't get out of that chokehold. Damn y'all, let a dude finish his lunch first. You suck, Rebecca. You buy this boy a Baconator and he'll destroy your country's government for you. That's rough, buddy. Rebecca honey put on some clothes. Still waiting to see if Soldier's human form is hot.