EmpressAngel

And we add fancy turtle to the list of stand users with stronger spirits than Jotaro's mom. Joining a literal baby, asshole bird, Koichi, and another literal baby.

Welcome to every week of my life. Hero- Don't do drugs, kids. Kill him. Hi there, conveninetly-placed Deku. That was actually a pretty solid plan. You people stay away from my daughter. Awww she grabbed his cape. OH NO MY POOR BABY. Eat shit, Overhaul. Oh hey, the song has words now. Aaaand I'm crying. Goddammit just die already. Oh shit, he didn't break all his limbs. Somebody get Nighteye some medical attention. Oh jesus he turned into the Mindflayer from Stranger Things. Well, that can't be good. You stay away from her. The answer is to break your limbs nonstop while she's rewinding you. Oh my god that's really the answer here. Yeah we know, you're king douche of this series. Dragon Waifu says no to the villains. Quick, break your limbs HARDER. Not even his own mafia boss likes him. Wow. so this bastard was just gonna screw literally everybody over. Wow, shocking how the boss actually isn't cool with using his own grandkid as a magic meth lab. Ohhh, he put the old man in a coma himself. He went full Star Platinum for a second there. Uh hey Deku you okay there, you're looking kinda terrifying. Deku says fuck your future. Dr Stone- Somebody's definitely gonna blind themselves with that telescope. Throw rocks at them! Tungzilla. Oh hey, thanks Magma. Did they secretly cuddle in the cave? Oh you fools, you don't get to have an easy task. Good luck with that, Chrome. Awww grandpa. FRIENDSHIP. This is goddamn heartwarming. You ever just rip your clothes off in a display of intense emotion? Senku he's not smart enough to get this. No, his special move is a kick to the nuts. I like the tiny robot. "Blorp." I'm proud of him. Don't judge, it worked. I love the Tungzilla. Oh, them's fightin' words. Too much tubing. He's going to kill you and then make it just to spite you. Awwww grandpa just wants a high five. Ginro is the smart one. Awwwww Suika. You're his crafing buddy now. I keep forgetting he's the chief. Thank god for science. I'm not sure I would trust Gen with all this. Alright this song's a banger. It makes sense, booze does make me louder. You know shit's going down when they use an OP for the insert music. I like that Ruri traded in her long dress for a winter miniskirt. WE DID IT, FOLKS. Sword Art- I don't care, show. I agree this this douche, Kirito sucks and you should leave him. Hi, only worthwhile man in this game. Don't worry, I just threw a harmless knife at him. Bryce is really earning that paycheck on this. I really thought we could have one female character that's not trying to jump on his dick. Oh hey, it's those girls from the episode we don't talk about. Well yes, technically Eugeo is here too. I'm sure this is very emotionally moving if you actually gave a shit about any of these characters. I need a fucking drink. "It's our fault that he had to save us from being raped." And then we played magic dress up because fuck you, viewers. Y'all don't have to suck his dick, he can't hear you. This bitch doesn't know how to apply lipstick, how did she miss her entire top lip. Oh boy, nothing like a bonus dose of the sad attempt at feminism. Please don't jack off the comatose boy. I can appreciate that the only attractive man in thi show just wanders around in an open robe. Maybe I'll luck out and everyone will die. Wasn't Asuna supposed to be in this show? At least when the hot mentor dies, he doesn't hae to be in this show anymore. Demon Slayer- Release the sister box. Boarkugo is fun times. Spiders can fuck right off. Spider titties. I got a bad feeling about this. Ohhh arms aren't supposed to do that. Well this is horrifying. Sticking them in trees is a surprisingly effective solution. The pig's having fun. I give this idiot five minutes before he gets turned into a spider puppet. Bird! And then everyone died. Ohhhh he's mad now. IT HAS NO HEAD. Wandering around the forest screaming is not going to end well for him. There he goes. We're having bacon tonight. That worked surprisingly well. YEET. Spider tits is having a bad day. Oh, that's unexpectedly sad. Hey, who let Endeavor in here? Food Wars- I'm not lucky enough to watch Soma fail. Nobody cares, assistant girl. You just assaulted a middle schooler. I hate this child already. This journalism student weirdly knows a lot of unrelated cooking terms. I miss you, hot dad. I don't care, show. I hate Erina more every time I have to watch her. I'm glad at least that she's charging for her services. It's goddamn Megumi reading the shitty romance manga isn't it. Your stew is bad and you should feel bad. This is weird. Your tits are getting sunburned, Meat Meat. Just use the goddamn meat you jackass. Oh hey, it's that one hot buff guy. Meanwhile that Italian brat is on suicide watch. Literally nobody says that about eateries. Don't ever remind me about the turtle burger again. No shit meat should play the starring role in a meat dish, you dumb fuck. I feel like the obvious way to beat the creep is just to bring enough food for multiple dishes. Clover- Just once can I watch someone I hate die in this show? I genuinely don't remember this backstory at all. I wonder how hard they had to kick Justin Briner in the balls to do the little kid voice here. What a surprise, he's cured. WHY IS SISTER FUCKER ALLOWED TO LIVE. Reminder, petty bickering is always a good substitute for actual character interaction. How can you even tell the swords apart don't they all suck out magic? I'd be smiling too if i got to escape this show. Oh right, the building got destroyed like six months ago. For the love of god just give that guy subtitles. Alright, I got a kick out of that "Could at least one of you learn to talk?!" bit. SHEEP. Kill them all, Charmy. Damn, she's not brainwashed. Charmy continues to be one of the few characters I don't want to die painfully. Wow, that mecha bull looks all kinds of stupid. Jojo- It's cool that Bruno can just zip people's limbs back on. Oh sweet, sounds like you get a free turtle. Somebody get Trish a bigger shirt. MISTA NO. Well this is awkward. Jaunty jiggle sacks. Surely these two aren't going to be a problem. Hell yeah, free turtle. That in one incredibly ugly man. Please tell me the turtle is a stand. Huh, that sure is an oddly shaped hole in that shell. Stop making me look at that guy. A magic fishing pole doesn't exactly strike fear into my heart. THE TURTLE HAS A STAND. And we add "fancy turtle" to the list of users stronger than Jotaro's mom. Okay that is a really cool stand. Ohhhh that fog is looking ominous. I got a bad feeling about this. This can't be a good thing. Hey uh what the fuck. THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING. This is some reverse Alessi shit. Did nobody else notice Narancia turning into the Crypt Keeper five feet away? Shit he killed the entire train. Send out the bullets. Big boobs are a lifesaver here. Quick, get some ice. Turtles are immortal. Mista you fucking idiot. Thank god we kept the horny song.

Did you know that there's a nifty spoiler button right at the top of the post box, so that you're not just showing off things that won't be in the show for another two seasons like a jackass?

Y'all realize that there are probably restrictions on what he's allowed to say, right? Like, I'm not allowed to walk up to customers and tell them that I can't take vacation time before spring because the department's sales plummet every time someone else gets left in charge and they can't afford that loss until next quarter. He does have a boss to answer to, and they probably don't want him delivering unfiltered bad news to a crowd that, let's be honest, is going to pick apart and criticize every word.

It's not like I've got any room to talk. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Hero- It's okay Mirio you're still my hero. Yeah sure leave the injured guy alone to guard this criminal. AWWWWW ROCK LOCK. I don't mind rooting for them if they just want to fuck up Overhaul. Please save my boyfriend. Awwww Nighteye. Aw fuck Aizawa's down. Mirio hit him so hard he was knocked out even after he got healed. Ohhh that's not normal. Please don't kill Aizawa. Is the boss just okay with using his grandkid as a guinea pig? Don't you fucking talk to him like that. Deku says no. Quick, throw office supplies at him! Don't fuck with Nighteye. Granpa is the best. Uh he's injured pretty fucking badly there, Deku. Fuck this wall in particular. Oh that's a lot of blood. Eri honey just go with them. WHELP. This is not a good day for Nighteye. This is not my fault. DEKU GO. Oh shit he's at 20% now. Say goodbye to your arms, Deku. Aww look at him making up his own Smash names. You okay there, Mirio. Poor Mirio. Oh, fuck you. OH, FUCK YOU. Eri honey no don't listen to him. Please save my baby. Well hello there, dragon waifu. Dr Stone- Okay so Magma's definitely going to murder both of them. I hope he put another exploding heart curse on him. I hope it's a surprise birthday party. I mean, Kohaku's probably strong enough to dig some rocks out. You're lucky that he's stupid. Isn't that the trap from Indiana Jones? SAVING PUNCH. Look at Senku trying to hold him up. Awww, he's trying to piss them off so they let him fall. Whelp, they're dead. Senku, giving zero shits. Chrome. Great plan that'll only take six months. YEET. Look, they're bonding! Mecha Senku is best Senku. And then Senku died. You gotta cuddle together for warmth. YEET, again. Cuddling. Ooooh it's pretty. Stop saying magma you're just confusing him. He's not a complete asshole, only like 99% of one. FRIENDSHIP. I'm gonna cry laughing. Heeee look at them nerd out. Well that wasn't our plan but now that you mention it... Is it a surprise party? AWWWWWW. Oh, I'm gonna cry. Did his dad make a special holiday so they'd know to celebrate his birthday? You're a good dude, you weird weird man. Sword Art- I have no idea who this is or why I should give a fuck. Stop saying fluctlight. At least the goblins are having fun. Can I just watch a different show starring those hot witches with the huge boobs. Are we really supposed to be intimidated by the pig faction. Why would you even bother going on a murder spree when you could just fuck your way through town instead? Titties. Wow, shocking how that plan went awry. How sad is it that the bright side of watching a woman get brutally strangled is that he's not trying to rape her in the process? Oh god what the fuck. Why is this a thing. He's definitely got a boner for this. Yeh, this'll end well. "I'm not mad, just disappointed." On the bright side, at least they don't have to be in this show anymore. Just a disembodied spirit, flying through the void of space completely naked. Demon Slayer- She's so goddamn precious. You stay away from my daughter. This old lady is so nice. AAAAAAAAAH. I love this bird. There is exactly one brain cell between all three of them and Tanjiro is holding it. That is one ominous mountain. Knock him out so he'll be helpful. Whelp, there goes that guy. Let the crazy pig guy go in first. Oh that's a lot of bodies. Oh FUCK it's spiders. Aww, Tanjiro is so nice. I kinda love Pig Bakugo. Aw hell they're all posessed. Oh no, bird. Oh hey, it's that one guy. Awww it's the cute bird. I'm sorry but I don't speak bird. Oh hey look, he did something. This looks like a job for Pig Bakugo. Oh god it's more spiders. Spider titties. Open the sister box. Oh no there's a bunch of spider people. Haa, Inosuke failed. I'm just gonna assume this is a regular skill that normal boars have. Food Wars- I do love a good ice cream cake. This sounds incredibly stupid. I remember Bobby Flay having a show with basically this exact same premise. The bros are still the best characters by far. Just make something else, you idiot. You could just add chocolate. Thanks, I hate it. They didn't even taste all the layers. I'm just thankful they're not getting naked thi time around. Oh, lemon curd was actually a good idea. Oh what the fuck why is he laughing. Mmm, nothing makes a nice dessert like brine. Can you vote against him just for being an absolute douche? Cue the sad trombone music. Oh goddammit why are you here. Joke's on you jackass, I'm always angry at this show. Color me surprised, Soma actually made a good point. You know when you raise the stakes that much you destroy any tension because there's no way he'll lose under those conditions. Clover- I can't tell any of Asta's swords apart and I truly do not care. Go ahead and kill half the town, I don't give a shit. Kill your teammates and you will immediately become my favorite character. At least someone's having fun here. Kitty! Goddammit kitty let them die. Didn't Kira basically have this same attack after he got the cat flower? To be fair, "I'm stupid enough to blow myself up" is the kind of problem that's hard to fight against. Ride the lightning, bitches. Fucking cat stop getting in the way I want to see someone die here. The screaming dipshit sure is taking his sweet damn time showing up to save their dumb asses. Christ get on with this shit already. Wow what a shock, Asta showed up at the last second to save their dumb asses. I sure as fuck don't accept you. This fight just keeps going. Jojo- Oh yeah, not killing your enemy when he's right there is always a great idea that pays off for you. Whelp, he's screwed. Y'all are getting so much bad luck today. Abbacchio says fuck you. Man, mirror guy is a goddamn idiot. Look at him beat the shit out of it. Aw crap there's more mirrors. Whelp, he's screwed. Honestly, getting shown up by Giorno hurts him so much more than the fight. Jesus christ Abba what the fuck. I hope that wasn't your jackoff hand. Giorno what the hell are you doing. This won't end well. GIORNO WHAT THE FUCK. Goldilocked goon, this dub is a gift. So then Giorno's dying, show's over I guess. This is not a good day for hands here. That brick is moving. BRICK SNAKE. Man that stand is terrifying. This soundtrack slaps. Ewwww. Thank you, friendly brick snake. I don't know shit about immunity so I'm just gonna assume this is scientifically accurate. Meanwhile Abbacchio is bleeding to death in an alley.

There's a whole lot of difference between a shirtless eighteen year old dude vs the gratuitous crotch shot of the fifteen year old girl with her tits barely covered. This seems like the kind of shit I shouldn't have to explicitly explain to a grown adult.

Could y'all maybe lay off being cringy bastards for 15 year old kids for just a little bit? It's getting real creepy.

They played episode 11 out of 25 for MHA last week. The hell are you talking about it being down to the wire?

How fucking dare you.

You could motorboat those cans.

No.

I'm just here for Slutty Tin Tin

Okay so that makes sense, but I'm still coming up empty on how the term appears to have been co-opted exclusively by oblivious dudebros whining about basically any decision they don't love that a creator or company makes about content.

We have a winner here. Everyone else go home.

What the fuck is "bending the knee" and why do all these crybaby anti-SJW dipshits keep screaming it?

In my defense, this slutty pillow is 100% the comfiest thing I've ever laid on.

I give FUNi my money every month and would prefer them to not spend it on barely-legal softcore lolicon hentai. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Thank you for your service.

Show: Fugo had to fight off a child molester at the age of 12 Also show, 10 minutes later: I WAKE UP FEELING SO HORNY

That was not my fault. Hero- Get your hands off my daughter. I kinda love these League idiots. Aw crap he has truth powers. Oh good, wall douche is finally done. BOYFRIEND, SAVE MY BABY. Joke's on you show, he's immune to my curse. Drink. Leave him alone you jackass. Yes they did pull a Jojo on his move, yes it is supposed to be Phantom Menace, and yes I have to live with my boyfriend liking the prequels. I love you, Slutty Vault Boy. Oh shit he kicked right through her. Awwwwwww. You shut up and leave her alone. Aw shit, Endeavor's back in the running for worst dad. Oh you son of a bitch. Thank god for capes. I could watch him beat the shit out of this guy all day. AWWWWWWWWW. And now, a flashback to a very very bad idea. Oh my god why are you still conscious. NO. Oh god no don't shoot my daughter. OH THIS HURTS. Oh my god, Tiny Mirio. Those Tin Tin genes are just too strong. GET OUT OF THERE VAULT BOY YOU'RE NOT IMMUNE TO MY CURSE ANYMORE. He just threw a motherfucker at him. Oh christ my curse is in full effect now. Apparently my fetish in this series is just buff as shit blond dudes who lose their powers on rescue missions saving children. Oh, he gets his own mini All Might scar now. I will not have my boyfriend defeated by this plague rat twink who looks like he steals his clothes out of a Party City dumpster. Dr Stone- Senku is having a great day. Oh shit are we making batteries now? FUCK YEAH, BATTERIES. I love these idiots. You're about to kill grandpa. Oh thank god you've upgraded your blowing. Oh fuck yeah, storage. Things are going suspiciously well here. Oh sweet, y'all finally got a light bulb. I'm just gonna assume all of this is scientifically sound. FUCK YEAH, CHRISTMAS TREE. This is heartwarming. I am also choosing to believe Santa here is scientifically accurate. Yeah this sounds like a safe idea. Let's go, Science Spelunkers. And he was never seen again. If I've learned anything from this show it's that I don't know shit about science. RIP light bulb. Oh hey, he made it back. RIP lightbulb, again. Oh no don't give up. Senku is suffering. I love my melon child so much. Awww, Suika gets to see the New Year sunrise for the first time now. OOOOOH IT'S PRETTY. Suika saves the day! And then Godzilla. Yeah sure take the guy who tried to kill you, this'll end well. Sword Art- I don't care, show. Oh no they're after the fluctlights. I have retained about three words of this plot so far. FLUCTLIGHTS. "Ugh, balls" is a pretty accurate summary of how I feel about this show every week. So basically we spent half the episode getting to the point that the super badass military dudes are gonna play a video game to steal the fluctlight, is that what's going on here? Meanwhile, other bullshit I don't care about! Please stop saying fluctlight. So you're gonna go in the game and bring him out of the super coma back into his regular coma? I hate every minute of this. Oh hell it's the rest of the harem. I thought we were supposed to have less rape this time! GODDAMMIT IT'S THE NEOPET DAUGHTER. Oh hey Klein, nice of you to join us. I don't know what's going on in this show and at this point I don't give enough of a shit to ask. And this stupid woman is gonna go along with everything just to get some dick. Fire Force- Kick him out of the car, Vulcan. I do like the giant skull, it's a nice touch. Maki is my girlfriend. I'm glad to see the Donkey Dick is still mounted proudly on the wall. Tamaki continues to be the fucking worst. Oh right, these two were fighting. Not gonna lie, I just want to watch grandpa kick his ass. I mean, Captain Grandpa is definitely getting more attractive as he gets more on fire. Whelp, this is depressing. Somebody needs a hug. This bitch is obnoxious and I hate her. Great job Grandpa, you sure screwed that up. Gee Shinra that sure is a great plan that won't destroy you physically or mentally. I am genuinely surprised that I haven't gotten Captain Sexy killed yet. Oh hey, it's those two. I hate this woman. Yes god please take Tamaki back and away from the main cast. Get it, Maki. Food Wars- I actually started doing a write-up for this but once the goddamn turtle burger showed up I point blank refused to dignify this with attention. Demon Slayer- We gotta kill the pig boy. SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR RIBS, FUCKER. Oh, he's their Bakugo. Aww. look at the siblings in the background. I expected him to be uglier. "Sorry, you're too pretty to fight." And then he died. SCREAMING. Tanjiro is brutal. Pig boy is goddamn insane and I kinda love him. CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKER. He just keeps headbutting everything. Calm down, she's a nice lady. Tanjiro being so nice is just destroying this boy's brain. NEZUKO TIME. Oh my god she's so adorable. Get away from my daughter. I want Pig Boy and Bakugo to meet and then kill each other. Clover- At least if you die in Black Clover, you don't have to be in Black Clover anymore. No don't heal him, he finally got the chance to escape! I genuinely have no idea who this guy they're fighting is, even though it's only been like two weeks. Humans do suck; I'll drink to that, bro. Yes, heal him by stabbing him in the chest. I hate Tink so goddamn much. You need to stay at least 20 feet away from that nun at all times. LEAVE THAT NUN ALONE YOU JACKASS. Evening, whores. Can we at least watch the douche king die painfully? Oh yeah now's a great time to shovel potatoes into your mouth like a goddamn animal. Oh, that guy's still alive. Everybody's probably dead by now while you were having a nice family diinner. Meanwhile, these other goddamn idiots have noticed nothing at all. Jojo- That dog mosiac isn't gonna survive this episode. Shut up, cheese suit. Abbacchio's irrational hatred continues to crack me up. Aw shit it's a mirror stand. And then they died. You gotta work a lot harder to make me care about someone wearing that outfit. Aw shit he's in the mirror. Yeah get your face right up close to the cursed mirror. Whelp, you're screwed. Oh that doesn't look right. Cry harder, rich boy. OHHH, THAT'S FUCKED UP. Okay yeah, he had every right to beat the shit out of him. And his suit got progressively worse. Meanwhile in the local Olive Garden, Bruno fills out adoption papers. Aww, Abbacchio does care. This could be going better. TOKOYAMI NO. Well that is some fucked up shit. Oh my god it's dumb as shit. I mean, you guys are mobsters in the mafia who are supposed to prioritize your job over each other. Oh yeah split up, that'll go well for you. This ED continues to be ridiculously out of place and I love it.

Apparently my fetish is just buff as shit blond dudes who lose their powers saving children on rescue missions. I am a terrible person. 👀

I guarantee you I'm jinxing Slutty Vault Boy harder as we speak.

Tiny Angel knew exactly what was up.

The Utena movie.

"Oh, Kirito had to fight off some rapists again? Must have been a Tuesday."