EmpressAngel

Update: cookie cake accomplished

I can't jack off to box office reports, damn it!

Disregard Star Wars, post Slutty Christmas Boy.

He's allowed to be wrong sometimes.

It's either short OPs or cutting content from the actual episodes. Literally 10 seconds on youtube will get you a show's regular OP, the full version, 20 fan mixes that extend it out 5-10 minutes and are of wildly differing quality, English-translated covers, 8bit remix, videos of the song played on various instruments, and a Space Jam remix. You're not actually missing out on much.

Now give it more episodes.

Charmy, who gave us the Pop Team Epic ripoff filler and objectively the best episode of this entire root canal of a show.

Is it a holiday where a large amount of their audience is likely to be preoccupied and unfocused on the block? I'm gonna go with no.

Suneater is both the best Tamaki and the best Sasuke on the block. Hero- Oh sweet, my kids are working together. HI BOYFRIEND. Hi Granpa. Hi Aizawa! And Deku has a full wiki page written about all of these heroes. Nejire's so cute. I can't stop staring at her underboob. I'm not a fan of Centipeder. Everyone loves Fatgum. Don't be rude, attractive yet angry man. Oh good he's okay. Ohhh no I don't like the sound of that. MY BABY. Jesus fucking christ. Endeavor officially loses the World's Worst Dad trophy. Someone please save my daughter. It's okay Mirio I'll console you. Stop making sense it's making them feel bad! Oh, that's actually a great idea. I'm with Fatgum go save my baby. I forgot Aizawa was here. Leave him alone he's sad. I kinda love Rock Lock. Someone hug these boys. Aizawa is in prime Dad mode today and I'm here for it. Somebody teach Deku how to tie a tie. AWWWWZAWA. Mirio maybe you'll feel better if you take your shirt off. SAVE MY BABY PLEASE. Oh this guy is fucked. OPM- ORA ORA ORA ORA. The bunny girl is always the strongest character. Oh that's just rude. Well this sure looks ominous. Alright I can respect them just wanting to be left the hell alone, what's the catch. Aaaand then you shot a guy in the face. WHELP. No really, just let them kill the little bastard. Thanks, random black guy. DENIED. I kinda love him. Watching buff dudes flex does make me feel better. Okay that one monster is just a trash can. And then that guy got eaten. Nooo not the hot lady. Oh hey, Garo's alive. Oh hey, Genos is alive. And then everything went straight to hell. I'm with Metal Knight, let that kid die. Oh hey Saitama actually does something. Get out of their clubhouse! I'm kinda into this, fear for his life. I'm sure this will end well for all of you. I reluctantly add Garo to the boyfriend list. BLAM-BLAM is a great hero name. Goddamn he's cool. IT'S HIGH NOON. Great job putting your secret technique in the hero manual. BRRRRRICK FROG. This is not my fault. Dr Stone- EXPLAIN PLEASE. I'm not following where you're going with this. Awww look at tiny Senku. Senku x Science is still OTP. Oh hey, he has a dad. LOOK AT THE ADORABLE CHILDREN. We're gonna hurl this dummy off the roof. Tiny Taiju also never stops screaming. And then Senku killed his dad. Awwwwwww. Oh sweet, he gets to be an astronaut. AWWWWWW. Wait what. Is that a Russian Seitz sighting? So uh that one lady sure looks a lot like the sisters. HOWDY Y'ALL. "I would have killed you in no time, swear to god" I love that lady instantly. I just love this Russian couple in general. Oh hey, she's pretty good. No, talk to your son! OH NO I FORGOT WHAT WAS HAPPENING. So how does fucking in space actually work? The soup. Zero gravity space ramen sounds pretty damn good. OH FUCK. He never got to talk to Senku again. Thank god the internet still works. At least the porn's still up. So I guess they all just fucked like monkeys until they died. Fire Force- Oh yeah I really respect a dude name Raffles. Yeeeah things aren't gonna go well for this albino baby in about two minutes. The nether is a real thing? You should work out while you explain all this, Captain. Please make Tamaki stay behind. Make sure you bring that donkey dick with you. Sorry show I am never gonna give two shits about this nun. At the first sign of trouble, use Tamaki as a shield. That's just a subway tunnel, but in a way I guess it is the route to hell. I am gonna get this man killed, I can feel it in my bones. And then everything went to shit. MOTHER FUCK IT'S TWO TAMAKIS. It's all good, the buff dudes are fine. Gee maybe the fake is the one who sounds like a godamn grown man. Iris you're a fucking idiot. I hate this fucking show. Please kill both of them. Please don't hurt my girlfriend. I like when Maki gets to do things. There continues to be exactly one good woman in this entire show. I'm gay for this. Meanwhile, kill them faster. What is with the weird sexism here? Tamaki did you forget that you're fucking terrible? Yeah, the reason they gave you that uniform is just to show off your tits. I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW. I'd rather just watch these adorable mice all episode. I guess this is marginally more bearable if they're lesbians. Food Wars- Oh good the jiggle feminazi gets to advance. I don't care about any of these people. Okay Shotgun Riding Hood gave me a giggle. I could go for a calzone right now. Yee haw. You had me at bacon. I'm not gonna feel sorry for anyone in this show. Oh what in the hell is this. Oh come on that doesn't even count as curry anymore. Did Megumi piss her pants and run away? Fucking Megumi. Oh great the hillbillies are here. Tonight's theme is HOWDY Y'ALL. Wow what a shock, Megumi tripped ass-first into the next round. At least jiggle feminazi lost. Demon Slayer- Save my bento daughter at all costs. Man that place is getting wrecked. I'd trust Nezuko with my life. Whelp he's dead. Oh, false alarm. Cry harder, you whiny little brat. Fuck Michael Jackson and his squad of asshole kids. Tanjiro honey can't you just smell the dodgeballs? Oh hey, thanks you whiny bastard. Nezuko will kill them for us. TOO MANY BALLS. Oooh that looks so cool. There you go, you got your first guinea pigs. KICK HIS ASS, SWEETIE. Aw crap she's re-armed herself. NO MY BABY. Aww even though they're demons she still sees them as her family. Aw shit. His power is a weaponized form of Jojo's TO BE CONTINUED arrow. Oh no you goddamn idiot why did you open your mouth. MY BABY NO. Stab him in the dick. Close your eyes and smell your way to victory. Oh damn look at him go. I'm so proud of you, son. Clover- I don't care about any of this, go back to the angry lady. And you have my axe! Why does this douche keep posing like a flamingo? I genuinely do not care who lives or dies in this fight. What the hell now, is the building on fire? Oh hey, someone I can tolerate. I'll admit, that is one bitchin' fire arm. Oh hey, he's got that dragon thing. I would follow J. Michael Tatum into hell after a rousing speech. There are now four characters I don't want to see die painfully. I guess the dragon just filled him in on everything. Dimestore Griffith, still the worst. You heard him, torch the place! I don't know who any of these people are. Oh great, this little fuckwad's back. Hiiii Yami. Jojo- I love my idiot son. Watching them kick the shit out of this guy's body is kinda cracking me up. Oh my god, this is beautiful. I love that their perfect unison implies that they've practiced this dance before. I don't care what happens now, nothing's topping this. Not gonna lie, this song is an absolute goddamn banger. Aw shit he had a partner. You should beat the shit out of him just for the stress relief. Buoy fish! GUN STAND. You can't prove that Mista isn't the bastard son of Hol Horse. I don't think it's a good time for a lunch break. OH MY GOD, THEY'RE ADORABLE. I'm adopting this stand, they're my children now. Yeah boys this doesn't sound suspicious at all. Aw shit he's in the office. Goddammit Mista. Oh no, they're idiots. LOOK AT THEM GO. Nothing to see here, just a flamboyantly dressed teen waving a gun around. I love my bullet children. He's in the truck! There he goes. "Freek'n You" never stops being funny. Lupin- Sorry but I'm definitely rooting for Fujiko here. This is just Mario Kart. Take me with you, Fuji. Somebody go save Fujiko. Oh, now all that porn has some context. I'm not entirely okay with this. And then time travel, because sure why not. I grow increasingly uncomfortable with the Fujiko tickle fetish torture. Cool, his jacket changes with the times. This is what gave Sir Nighteye his tickle fetish. Oh thank god the fetish machine blew up. I feel like I'd get more out of this if I understood these references. Zenigata is a universal constant. JIGEN NO. Fujiko where are your nipples? Pops is gonna be the thing that saves him. Goemon buddy he's literally hurling rockets at you. Is this why Goemon hates computers? RIP car. I'M NOT OKAY WITH THIS. I'm actually relieved she's gone because at least now she's not getting molested. Lupin continuing his trend of getting shot. Goemon no! Jigen no! Fujiko yes! Goddamn douchebag wizard ruining 50 years of friendship. Well damn he was easy to catch. WHAT. Oh my god you douche wizard how did you fuck this up you ahve a time machine. Hobo Jigen MVP. Most importantly, things are back to normal with Pops. Kill them. OH HELL YEAH T-REX. It turns out the real loot was the friends you made along the way.

You can't prove that Mista isn't the bastard son of Hol Horse.

Okay but this song is an absolute goddamn banger.

Shoutout to @Naraku4656 for being the best Santa anyone could ask for! Thank you so much, you're amazing! Look at this giant cookie pan. I am going to make a concerningly large cookie for Christmas.

@Naraku4656 THANK YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE HIM. Everyone look at my new All Might! (I definitely did not spend 20 minutes trying to figure out that plastic stand before googling it and realizing it was laughably easy to put together.)

Merry Christmas, I hope you're well-nourished for the holidays!

That's the nicest compliment I've ever gotten.

Hero- Nejire's so cute. LOOK AT MY GIRLS. Ryukyu is my wife. Get out of here, Fuckhands! Get your filthy shoes off that table. BIG CHUNGUS. Tamaki is a goddamn mood. I love BIG CHUNGUS. Oh shit Tamaki's quirk is cool as fuck. That woman screaming "HE'S TOTALLY CUTE" has her priorities straight and I respect her. Aw shit then he got shot. Aw fuck he lost his quirk. Don't do drugs, kids. I love that giant All Might billboard. Someone please hug Tamaki. Aw fuck he cut my boy. Kaminari being used as a phone charger. Surprisingly encouraging Bakugo. OH SHIT LOOK AT MY SON. Oh DAMN he looks cool. i'm so proud of him! CHUNGUS AHOY. Fatgum is my favorite hero. Oh noooo I sense a traumatic backstory on the horizon. Tamaki is my spirit animal. I'm so proud of my kids. Meanwhile, Bakugo is angry. Someone please save my baby. So what happens with Tamaki's quirk if he sucks a dick? OPM- I love when Saitama goes into Good Art Mode. Avenge that one guy! You should give him your prize money. He's the best. Don't worry, Charlie Brown will save us all. Oh hey, Genos is alive. Oh dude, just stay here and wallow in your failure on your own. Well, that was easy. I enjoy Saitama not giving any shits. Nope. FREE HUG monster is my favorite. I fully support anyone fighting naked. RIP monster, you were the best. I think that's called depression, Saitama. Oh hey King. Really the hair was just holding him back. Yes start ballroom dancing. That's surprisingly insightful. Video games are serious business. Watchdog Man kicked his ass. Nooo don't kill him he's our friend. Saitama says no. Sorry, you just broke all his bones. Oh hey Sonic. Hellfire Flame sounds right up my alley; he's going to die. Here, eat this pulsating anus. Yeah sure that'll help you win. Marshal Gorilla is an incredible theme. He's just a normal monkey, leave him alone. I love Errant Gorilla. I don't trust this other old guy. Just kill the little bastard, see if I care. This guy broke. That can't be good. Hey, you got Food Wars in my One Punch Man. Dr Stone- Get that man a coke. Awwww. Ginro's such a goddamn idiot, I love him. EVERYONE GETS A HAREM. Go for the dick! I love that everyone just keeps hurling that melon into the fights. I was joking about the dick thing but damn. Aw shit, Chrome's dead. Senku is best matchmaker. Oh god, Senku is chief now. Dude he won the fight, he's your king now. Fuck yeah, vinegar! Oh shit you gotta get those drugs now. What. This is fantastic. I love this old man so much. Suika faceplanting mid-run fucking floored me. Wake up Chrome! TIME FOR DRUGS, KIDS. Just smile and nod, Chrome. DON'T TOUCH THAT YOU BASTARD. Well now you don't get any soda. These sure are words you're saying. The only thing I understood here is baking soda. They did it! HE MADE THE COKE, HE DID IT. Why is this fucker drinking a discount Pepsi about to make me cry? Here, snort this. It's okay, they used to be married. RIP mouse. Masked Senku looks unreasonably funny to me. Oh this can't be good. Kaiju drug. Aw FUCK you've killed her. Aw shit you don't fuck with pnemonia. FUCK YEAH. Grandpa is still MVP. Awww, Kohaku's been saving her this whole time. AWWWWWW, SHE'S BETTER. Damn look at her go. I'm not crying you're cry-WAAAAIT WHAT. Explain now please. Fire Force- Aw fuck it's a Tamaki episode. DONKEY DICK. That is a nice hat. Hi boyfriend! Oh great, this bitch is here. Yes, I'd love to get your meat. Aw shit it's that guy. So wait is eyepatch douche on our side now? Oh hey, that other guy. Don't fight, you're both idiots. Take your shirt off, techie man. I hate these children. Lesson one, be in panic mode constantly. I enjoy seeing Shina get kicked in the mouth. Maybe don't trust this. Maybe they think you're a traitor because you've spent half the day hanging out with that evil guy. Maki is my girlfriend. Witch hat! When it doubt, just hit them with a hammer. Tamaki is the worst. I hate these children so much. This is some Naruto shit. Oh hey, that helped. Okay Arthur getting roundhouse kicked in the face is pretty good. Food Wars- I agree with these guys screaming about how shitty Megumi is. LOOK AT THE JIGGLE, GODDAMMIT. This girl's painful brand of feminism is exhausting. That is one ugly fish. Oh, is she finally gonna grow a spine? Hillbillies intensify. It sure was nice of them to waste probably hundreds of dollars of fish to let this pathetic, whiny child learn something. WE GET IT, SHE'S A STALKER. Gee I'm really sweating here on whether Megumi will trip ass-first into the next round. That sounds fucking terrible. You couldn't pay me enough to put that in my mouth, and I have some terrible standards. Whoever wrote this dialogue deserves a raise. Don't fight, you're both fucking terrible. Calm down bitch, even I'm not that thirsty. What a shock, the creepy bitch lost. And just like that, your deeply-ingrained psychological issues are cured! Demon Slayer- Oh right, THIS fucker. Oh no he's gonna have to kill that guy. I'm gonna fight this douche myself. I love my son. Whelp, somebody's gonna die. Oh hey, this is happening. Thanks, lady! I automatically trust her and surely this won't bite me in the ass. DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK. I kinda love this drunk guy. Okay that was not my fault. Get out of here you Michael Jackson sack of fuck. YOU ASSHOLE. Jesus christ. Noodles are serious business. Heeee look at my daughter. She's so cute! No shit she's a demon. THEM'S FIGHTIN' WORDS. Tanjiro is so great. This is just Platform 9 3/4. Ya gotta go the Ol' Yeller route with him. So much for not offending her. I love her. Let Nezuko take a nap. Well shit I'll sell you my blood for a good cause. Heeee Nezuko. Oh shit. She's so cool. You stay away from my son this is an important conversation. LOOK AT MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER. You raised our hopes and dashed them expertly, miss. Ohhhh there's gonna be a catch to this. Start killing shit, boy. AW FUCK. Black Clover- Maybe you should have told her the dead king's in there. Just kill everyone, Yami. Shut up, lesbian. Yami continues to be the single bright spot in this shit show. I think it would help if you took your shirt off. Oh god what now. I genuinely don't know if I'm supposed to remeber who this is. Great, team up and kill Asta. I ain't gonna complain if y'all kill Noelle. I'm rooting for psycho elf Deku here to slaughter them. You can go ahead and kill Asta. Use him as a human shield, fire lady! Oh hey, it's a hydra. Are there only like six people in this entire country that aren't goddamn elves? How goddamn stupid are you to not notice everybody looks different? STOP SCREAMING, YOU DIPSHIT. Oh right, dimestore Hisoka can do things. Ahahahahaha eat shit, Asta. Don't worry, fire lady can absolutely kill them with no remorse. I feel this on a personal level. Oh hey, he's awake. Jojo- Oh, he used to be a cop. Well this is depressing. OH, IT GOT WORSE. And that's why he's an angsty goth now. I also need a drink after that. Oh right, Giorno's here. Scratch that. Did Araki intentionally design Bruno's stand to make that giant zipper looks like it's got its dick out? Oooh it looks cool. Why did they give Moody Blues such a sweet ass. Okay that's a really cool power. He...deflated? Freek'n You totally sounds like a stand that would turn people into condoms. Aw fuck he's not there. Well fellas I admit I'm confused as shit here. Well Abba do you mind explaining it to me? And then he died. One last slap for the road. You stole his boyfriend, prepare to die. Is...is he the fly? Calm down there, fly man. And then we got a lesson on the difference in nautical birds. Can't kill my crew if I kill us all! What just happened. It was a boat condom. Don't fuck with Bruno. Now kiss. Lupin- He's such a bag of dicks. Just three dudes chilling on a rusty boat and leaking government secrets. HI REBECCA! And she brought pizza! God I love Fujiko. So is she getting married or what. Pirate Fuji does things for me. GIVE ME DETAILS, WOMAN. Eat shit, Enzo. Yeah this seems about right for America. Time for everybody to quit. Aww he came back for her. Oh that is one fancy sub. I don't even know who that lady is but I love how many women he has on-hand to save his ass. Oh hey it's those idiots. And then Lupin caused a civil war. This is so much fun. Sometimes two dudes are all you need. OH DAMN THAT WAS COOL. Heee it's the weeb kid. Just let that guy leave he doesn't even want to be here. Ohhhhh buddy that sounds ominous. Fujiko, giving zero shits about her impending doom. Eat shit, Enzo. Howdy, fuckface. Oh shit Ami. AWWWWWWWW. Just answer the question. WHAT. None of this silhouette bullshit show me what's up. Is...is he nice now? That'd be heartwarming if he wasn't such a bastard. Get Fuji some shoes. Awwwwww. Ami honey he's twice your age, let it go. Shut up Enzo you're going to jail. I have the biggest grin right now. So y'all married now or what?

OH HELL YES. Maybe he took one look at this season of Jojo and his mind just snapped at the bizarreness.

You sure seem to interact constantly with people you've apparently ignored. So like, do you actually know how to use the ignore function?

Oh no, this shit got released. Believe me. Fun fact: This is @Top Gun's favorite movie, no matter how hard he tries to deny it. He may be the only other person who actually owns a copy of this thing.

Is there such a thing as a perfect Christmas sweater? Yes there is and it's on the way here. https://www.boxlunch.com/product/my-hero-academia-all-might-ugly-holiday-sweater---boxlunch-exclusive/11970018.html

Hero- Oh my god just look at him he's like sunshine. You can save me any day, Lemillion. MY BABY. Oh fuck you, plague guy. Deku, immediately arousing suspicion. Oh hey, Endeavor finally has some competition for Worst Dad. Please save my baby. Just punch him in the dick and run. Mirio no don't leave my daughter. And then they got murdered in an alley. ERI NO DON'T GO. I love Bubble Girl. You bastards get your hands off my daughter. Mirio's so fucking tall I'm right at motorboat height for those pecs. Hold up so could he cure my shitty eyesight? I can't stop staring at her underboob. Hey who beat the shit out of Bakugo. I enjoy Aizawa just fucking dead-lifting a waterlogged Deku out of the pond with one arm. You knew Nighteye was an asshole. Oh no here we go. OHHHH THIS HURTS. I'm not crying you're crying and also I'm crying. Everyone here needs a hug. This is not my fault. Fuck you Nighteye but I owe you one for training my replacement boyfriend. AW FUCK. Tall Might only makes me feel a little better here. Please don't kill Might Boyfriend, show. Make up goddammit. GODDAMMIT FUCKHANDS GET OUT OF HERE. OPM- CAW CAW MOTHERFUCKER. Yeah that seems like a plan that worked out great. Don't touch the brain slugs. Oh yeah this is a real bad idea. RIP fat dude. Aw fuck that can't be good. Nice horns at least. Noooo don't do it. You idiots are gonna die now. I'll go out with you. PECS OF STEEL. Aww there go his cool horns. Oh you're definitely getting laid after this. Don't eat that you'll get ugly. We share the exact same priorities. This isn't my fault. I goddamn love Watchdog Man. I don't remember how he got that gratuitou titty window in his sweater but I appreciate it. Oh, this guy's still alive. Hey now would be a great time for Saitama to show back up. REVELRY IN THE DARK. Awwwwww fuck. Uhhh I don't think you're supposed to eat more than one of those things. MUMEN RIDER NO. No seriously where's Saitama for all this is he still running from security or what. It's what heroes do, you bastard. LIGHTNING SHOES. Thank you Tank Top Seitz. "You're pretty brave for a guy with no tank top." WHELP. I don't give a shit, kill the rich little bastard. Cat monster! Hey maybe we'll luck out and the monsters will just kill each other. Ohhh he's gonna eat you. Jesus Christ. Everybody's a liiiiittle busy right now, dude. HEY SAITAMA NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US. Man I love it when he goes into random Hot Art Mode.

I wanna play!

Bruh you got scammed on that pillow. Amazon's got 'em for like $25. And yeah, you should probably be suspicious of anyone charging less than $50 for a case. Anything under that and they're probably cutting corners on material or quality. And oh, I am well aware of how fast those things get filthy. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

But how much was the girlfriend pillow?