mthor

I have to admit, they're better than that Chef Boyardee shit.

Sorry, bad joke. It's just that so many people on coumadin have a hard time in the summer because of all the fresh green veggies. I'll wind up poking people once a week during the summer that I only draw blood on once a month in the winter.

It's also called an overuse injury, kind of like when my husband gets laryngitis. Have fun in court, but if they offer the band-aids, I'd grab them and run. (Maybe they'll give you some with Sonic on them.)

It's not arthritis, it's blisters, you tiny moron. Go ahead and sue - you may win a box of band-aids.

I wish I could like this.

Yeah, but you're being nice and low-key about it.

An everything bagel with salmon cream cheese is amazing. It's hard to keep the cats away from it, though.

That's close enough. At least if you're undead, you're not flaunting it.

Damn it, is anybody here still alive, or is it just people's parents? If I wanted to talk to people my age, I'd go play bingo.

Soooo it is OK to sprinkle rat poison on the spinach salad?

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Sorry I gave you Herpes type II.

You've never been anything but single - you can't count your hand as the other member of a relationship.

Whoever eats...

ooh. Awkward.

Actually, Uncle Kracker covered it in 2002, and it did almost as well as Dobie Gray's version. So for this, you don't need 70's top 40.

Took my seat belt off, opened the car door, leaned out, and puked. I guess it wasn't that stupid - we were only going 45 - 50.

No, seriously, didn't it rain at Woodstock? I seem to recall lots of mud. But maybe that was the blotter acid...

That might have been an improvement.

And mud. There has to be mud.

You were keeping track?

If you'd quit drinking, maybe you'd know what was going on. Then again, if you quit drinking, you might go into DT's. It's a win-win!

Not only was this place better when unregistered guests could read, it was better when the members could read. Now we just sit around and look at the little bugs on the screen - thank God for emojis.

Another advantage of being old - if I drop dead and the kids find my porn stash, they'll probably just have a good chuckle about it.

Thanks for the warning - I was going to change this one back after I finished reading The Satanic Bible and The Magickal World of Aleister Crowley, but I guess I'll just stick with it for now.

I don't get it - nobody's complained about mine, and there's quite a bit of butt there. Edit: I don't know, maybe because it's tail instead of crack, and I'll just stop now, because the more I say the worse it gets...