I just went to a restaurant that's contributing to the horrid war on Christmas. They hung up a sign that said "Have a very jolly holiday." Underneath that sentence on the sign there were a bunch of Christmas trees, and below the sign there was a painting of Santa Claus, but we all know anyone and everyone who uses the word "holidays" instead of "Christmas" is a godless heathen/Jew/Muslim/Hindu/Buddhist/Atheist