Doom Metal Alchemist

*sigh* You're right. Only your mommy and daddy can do that.

When you finish it, be sure to badger @SwimModSponges to read it and review it in every single thread he posts in. WELL GEE LET ME GUESS, IT'S GOING TO BE BATMAN AND ROBIN, ISN'T IT?

Can you play Song of Time next time? I want to tell my teen self not to be a retard.

I think dad jokes by definition can't be raunchy.

What the hell are you doing up at 4:00 AM on a Saturday? Go back to bed, you need your sleep!

Who got the other ticket? Sounds like a car accident... or a murder / suicide... HOW ABOUT THAT, @Athena 92????

The only version of "not sober" I have is being sleep deprived. A lot of people say driving sleep deprived is just as dangerous as driving drunk... and honestly, I believe it.

We've all seen your picture. Isn't it past your bedtime? 😁

Any woman says that to me, I'm seizing that opportunity.

YOU'RE ALL GAAAAAAAAAAAAY THE MOB RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY I mean, what?

Ok, so it was somewhere in the middle.

Yeah, I had a feeling.

I want to believe "bofa" is some drug, drink, or exotic food I've never heard of, and you cleverly gave this awesome answer off the cuff, but I have a feeling you gave exactly the response he was fishing for.

Dude I literally forgot all about that. You've been so focused on hating Republicans that you've stopped pimping your fanfictions entirely (I don't know why you don't use the popular abbreviation 'fanfics,' but, eh).

Kinda related..... For years pretty much all the soda I ever drank was from a can (That's still usually the case). One day I'm out somewhere and get a bottle out of a vending machine for the first time in years. Get a Coke. What name did it have on it? Mine. And the nick name version, the one I always go by. Not my full name, not the slightly longer nickname version that ends in -ie, but the exact nickname version that I use. And this was the first bottle of Coke I ever bought during this promotion (I would buy cans a lot, but the cans had words like "Friend," "Buddy," etc, rather than names). I thought that was hella cool. I actually planned on snapping a photo of it and using it as my facebook profile pic, but I got lazy and never took a picture of it. After a few weeks I threw the bottle away without ever snapping the photo, lol.

Gonna use them to cosplay or anything?

I don't know much about make-up, but I can tell you what I don't like: Bright colors. Why blue and green eye shadow even exist is absolutely beyond me. Nothing makes a hot girl look ridiculous like green eye shadow. Fuck, I quoted the wrong post. This was intended for the one looking for make-up tips.

My friend, who is in his early 30s, says he's going to do basically exactly that once his kid is grown.

go hang a salami! i'm a lasagna hog!

But that's a palindrome.

I bought coke for our president from two administrations ago. Yuck yuck yuck.

I took uber for the first and second time when my brother and I went to a concert in San Francisco earlier this year, and I used them the third and fourth time last Sunday two Sundays ago when I went to a concert in LA. When you are where there's no parking and you don't trust being safe when walking at night, services like Uber and Lyft seem much safer.

I fucking love that scene in Holy Grail where he's Sir Robin's minstrel.

You should've picked up the guitar and and turned your bits into horrible music. (I'm just assuming you don't know how to play guitar or sing very well, thereby making whatever music you make horrible without you even trying. Though for all I know you could be very musically talented)