Doom Metal Alchemist

The killer awoke before dawn. He put his jacket on. Wait, that's not how the song goes.

Happy birthday!

I guess your daughter wasn't enough of a weeb to go for the obvious Blue Eyes White Kitty. I know that's a mouthful, but "Blue" would do for short.

"I'm thin ur all fat"

Steak, potatoes, chicken, rice, ravioli, sandwiches, ribs, soup, stew, chili, hamburgers, pork chops, eggs. As for non-home-cooked food: Pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, pizza, and more pizza.

I will not.

When someone calls you "string bean" they're mocking your scrawniness.

Yvan eht nioj

You could always move for a teaching job somewhere else. Other than college, you seem to have nothing tying you to living where you currently live.

I saw a JAV once where the chick had three nipples; two on one boob.

Some of us are very aware we don't know how to flirt and are self-conscious about it, but that's what you got to do to get a date, so we don't need you laughing or making fun of our pathetic attempts.

Damn, I actually forgot Computer Science is just your minor. If you can, drop your minor all together. Most employers don't give a crap about minors. Just be a history major. Well, as long as you like the idea of teaching for a living. Don't know if you can get many other jobs with a history major.

Almost all (if not all) the music I listen to is made up of various sub-genres of heavy metal, classic rock, and video game soundtracks. My favorite sport to play is downhill skiing. I refuse to wear a baseball cap any way other than completely forward.

You used it as a weapon against tic.

Fans of original Teen Titans animated series create unofficial campaign "Teen Titans Stop!"

Judge Reinhold marries Mike Judge to become Judge Judge.

Well they made their money back and about doubled it, so I guess?

Holy shit, that actually looks funny! Did it do well at the box office?

What is this pirate-themed band with a monkey on drums?

She may not need no man, but I need no typing instruction program masquerading as a goddamn racing video game.

Fuck that game. Although I have no idea how the 9th edition measures up to the one I "played' as a kid, if it wasn't 9 itself.

That's just the same person but from a further point in time. Like in that one episode of American Dad where future Stan "steals" Francine away from current-day Stan.

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT CAN

Hmmmmmmmm.... Maybe he's planning on popping The Big Question soon....