Mix

There are two outside my window.

That fell through after his body transformation pics weren't as well received as Kumail Nanjiani's.

who do you think........Kevin Hart

The entertainment industry ruins everything. RIP Burt Macklin

Jk, but you didn't even doubt it, did you? You can picture it now. So perfect you can't believe it's not already a thing.

Imagine if thoughts and prayers were the original tweets, but to god. Think of how nuts his feed would of been. You've read the bible or at the very least heard some of the stories. How ever much they say it, he does not "work in mysterious ways." This is totally some shit he would do. - "Let me give these muffukas a taste of their own medicine." - "You sure about that, dawg." - "Hell yeah, nigga. Tired of these muffukas, man." - "Maybe you should run it by Jesus or HG first, y'know." - "Fuck that! Why you always say that shit? I run shit here! They just live here!" - "aight, nigga, damn" - "And Give that nigga, Lucifer, a call. He'll want in on this."

The Harder They Fall (5 out of 5)

Words formed in the mind don't have the mechanical constraints that apply those effects to audible speech.

..you let them see you eat? You know what I mean....not the oscar worthy performance of dining sophistication you put on with meals designed not to trip you up.

...you're not expecting things to go well. You're not necessarily expecting things to go badly, but it's fair to say you've written off the day. I got a job offer = awesome I got laid = awesome Those two aren't connected = reassuring Side note - Has ice cream always been this good? I haven't had it in years. I don't really eat sugary things. Is Twix still good?

could you imagine

I'm most impressed with how well they cast Ein.

In my best Barry White voice; "You gotta back that thing up nice and eeeaaasssyyy...oh yeah, bebeh" "ahh crap, hold on...uhh, baby...I just gotta pull back out for a sec and.....nope, still not right....dammit, wtf....hehe, this has never happened to me before..." ... 20 mins later "Look its not necessarily me. I mean I know how to park the hell outta this thing. Maybe it's your parking spot. It's off somehow." ... 4 hours later "CALL THE NUMBER ON THE BOX! IT'S BEEN ROCK HARD FOR THREE HOURS NOW! FUCK IT, CALL A DOCTOR! IT'S FUCKING TURNING PURPLE! LET'S JUST DRIVE TO THE NEAREST HOSPITAL! Shit, they're towing my car. We forgot to park it."

(right before this picture was taken) - "Put your thumbs up." - "Why?" - "It'll humanize you." - "I thought wearing this guy's skin was supposed to do that." - "You have to do a lot of shit to fit in here." - "I don't see Zuckerberg doing this." - "Yeah, and how well is his disguise holding up?" - "...so the thumbs go like this?" - "Yup, just like that."

1) It shouldn't be racist, so why does it seem like it could be? 2) Is there any way this is an original idea? 3) Are the optics better or worse if you pay the rickshaw driver to yell it while he takes you somewhere? 4) Why did they not use dinosaurs to power the cars like they did every other thing on that show?

But it's hot though

There's just so many devils these days it's hard to know who to make a deal with in any given situation.