Mix

I can't wait to see Trump's next lawyer in action.

I can get behind that. Let's just be honest about why he's on screen.

Is slapping considered rough in the age of internet porn? More like foreplay

Why do people like him so much?

I've been watching a lot of car tuner youtube lately. It's apparently very easy and fun to swap out engines. I'm going to throw out a bunch of letters at you that are apparently engine names: LS, RB, SR, and JZ. Any one of those is good, i'm told. Whole thing should take you about forty, forty five minutes tops, with ad breaks.

Poor Donnie never could remember more than two things. Looking back, I should of just said "drop and roll."

This sounds like pre-dawn of the planet of the you get where i'm going.

He's in a wheel chair because a tree fell on him while he was jogging. That sounds like a failed assassination attempt. Whoever came back from the future tried to get too fancy with the cover up.

Sorry, I always confuse married guys and gay guys. The energy is the same.

She's not running away from you, she's just trying to do her job. Leave the waitress alone.

You better not have a girlfriend. You're wife would be pissed.

Don't cheat on her

Thanks, i'm glad somebody noticed I be out here exudin'

I'm glad you got the accent I was going for, lol

You know how in politics, people call those who disagree with them "pedophiles". I think the unevenedge version of that is going to be Cat Fucker...as in, I saw what you been posting in this thread Cat Fucker. Yeah, I bet you would like it if they ate your face you sick bastard. Backing up your cat cafe pal. You two prowl for puss at cat cafes? Fucking cat fuckers always stick together.

In that thread i'm reacting to the "fucking the cat" joke, in this thread i'm making it....at least I was, until you ruined it

No matter what, based on this picture, you shouldn't be allowed to have this cat anymore.

Imagine finding out that cat's last owner un-lived themselves. Now you keep waking up to the cat staring at you. Do you immediately assume the cat ate that person's face and now has a taste for...y'know?

Who tried you, dawg?

This is what happens when you fuck with the Mouse.

This sounds like something the current Pope would say.

This is not a good time for your airline to be called Spirit.

Wow, they're paying people to fly now. I should've waited

...now reflects how scared the airline thinks you are. I just flew cross country for a compliment and a pat on the back.