Mix

I don't know what makes me sadder; that I didn't realize till now, or that I don't care. I guess Owlman was right.

You haven't been hired yet and you're already saying no. You'll fit right in. Here's your parking pass and settlement check.

That's progress! We can't quite eliminate sexual harassment, but we can limit it to, maybe, what's in the ballpark of what you're into. Now we got one gay that's been feeling left out, so if you could tick that box it would virtually guarantee you this job.

Whether you're messing with me or you just don't know the difference between a grill and an emblem, a smaller pic would have done the job. Now this thread looks like it was sponsored by BMW.

I don't know if this is a thing people have pointed out before, but I was looking at an E30 today and I can't unsee it now.

How so?

Yeah, it's pretty hard to find a good friend.

inorite

That's him letting you know he has your back when this inevitably crashes and burns. Also, more importantly, he is conditioning himself to never view her as a viable sexual partner. I say again, a food griend would hate your girlfriend. You got a buddy that's cool with your girl, you got the makings of a future nemesis.

Did you all see the clip of Trump ordering Chick fil A? He made the same hand gestures he makes when giving a speech. I...think he's stuck in speech mode.

I just try to read a book. My brain shuts off immediately.

No ritual sacrifice is complete without a Behelit. I bout mine on Etsy.

Sucks to be you. They shot down the clouds in Texas.

Let's all agree that the word "totality" is put back on the shelf till the next eclipse when we will hear someone say it and repeat it as though we know what the fuck we're talking about.

Without the ritual sacrifice, we're just a bunch of idiots gathered in a field, looking at the sky. Anyway I saw the 80% it was pretty cool I wish I saw the full thing and I get why people were so psyched hail satan

2035!!! Jeez, you think we'll be able to see the eclipse from Mars? haha, no seriously though we're all going to be dead.

I already said blood ritual sacrifice. Some things don't change.

Who took that pic? The other horses?

I've received 37, that's THIRTY SEVEN....invites to blood ritual sacrifices. And only a few are at Diddy's house. Yes, I know Diddy. No, I don't want to talk about it.

Guys will say anything to fuck. You can't be out here giving it up for beard compliments.

-"What?" -"It's not quite set yet, but the director and a few producers would like to meet with you and your son on Thursday." -"Wait, what? I think there's been some mistake. My name is Jolene Turner. My son is Jake Turner. The audition we went to was for the Fisher Price commercial." - Yeah, listen, he didn't get it. He was never going to get it. They were looking to cast a black girl the whole time. Hollywood politics, what can I tell you." -"Well why would they have us..." -"Optics! Sweetie, listen. White kids are out, they're done, they had their time, but they can't just say that. They have to keep up appearances. But don't you furrow your stage mom brow at any of that, because there is one role that is woke proof. One role that will always be played by a little white kid, and in this case, your little white kid. And that role is the son of satan. Now are you free Thursday?" -"...........Yes"

Who said we stole anything? Movers don't steal. They play with your stuff.

I don't know if i'm making a face that I don't realize, but people treat me like i'm a baby bird or something. It could be a vaccine or a broken bone, they treat me the same. I have never once complained or expressed concern. I once set my own broken nose. I'm not stressed. What's with the kid gloves? I just read this over and it's like i'm screaming, "why won't they treat me like shit!"

I worked for a moving company for a time. This one lady had so many dildos. As a courtesy, please clean your dildos, the movers will want to fake sword fight with them and no one wants a smelly dildo sword.

That account was suffering. Deleting it was the merciful thing to do.