Hornshire

Hurray Doppler

Not in Our office. Maybe down the hall, but We don't pay that much attention to say one way or the other.

Well, yeah. The basic concept of luxury is that you don't need it. In truth, a lot of it has nothing to do with quality and everything to do with branding.

We were surprisingly unproductive. Not gonna lie, We're somewhat proud that We're not nearly as reliant on technology to provide distractions as We previously thought.

We can see it if We make a duck face. But that gets tedious after a few seconds. Besides, it's not going anywhere.

Right index and middle fingers, typically. Occasionally, but not often, just left thumb.

Ah. A little bitch who talks tough but has no actual game. Makes sense.

We don't know your reference. Why does everyone else on Maury hate D West?

We're pretty sure somebody likes a sourpuss. Pretty sure.

We've always thought it had a grassy taste. Never thought it was like soap. Though We can get how it might be like Zest. Not Ivory, Dial, or Lava though.

One of those wing-a-ling dragons. With fire, consummate vees, and a beefy arm. You know, a classic burninator.

A dragon.

Mmmm. That's hot. Tell Us more.

Okay, sweetie. Five more minutes. But that's it.

https://twitter.com/sexyclownbods/status/784830173413724160

That's nice, dear.

The Olympic games. Obviously.

@imchapp.in We really loved the concept of your piece. It's a shame the judges seem to either not have picked up on, or not have been aware of, the references you were making. That white Bronco... brings back memories. It's got great humor, and the Hollywood meta narrative was a nice touch. Would really like to see you develop it further.

To be honest, We didn't get a whole lot out of your story, but that explanation gives it a lot more context. Setting is definitely an area We glaze over in Our own writing so We sometimes overlook it in others'. There were a couple phrasings We found awkward, and We felt like there was a lot of "if you know what I mean" bits, where We didn't. Though part of that may come from Ourself not being a camping enthusiast, making it harder to relate, it could definitely benefit from a little refinement for clarity. But it was by no means bad, and putting your work out there is an accomplishment unto itself. Like Sponges said, we're all winners.

We think your format was fine. Structurally. You're prone to get into issues of "show don't tell" when you have a narrator recounting their past- doesn't mean it's an inherently problematic style choice, just one that requires more attention in that department. Another issue We thought it had was that it lacked a central message. If there was a common theme that tied the various characters together, and was a reason as to way these particular people were important to the main character, as opposed to the various others he presumably met, it would have been much stronger. Congrats on coming in second, though. We think you had nice attention to detail, and kept a good tone throughout. Also, since you felt constrained by the word limit, what do you think is more reasonable? We don't feel like any of these entries were grueling, so We're definitely open to more leeway, but still want to keep things manageable.

Never too soon to think about, but it may be a bit early to lay down plans. Our feeling at the moment is sometime around mid-March, but if there's sufficient impatient grumbling before then We'll do it sooner.

You should be. It was a great read. Short, but solid- even without the allusions, which We quite enjoyed. We cracked up at the first mention of Omaha, and the follow-up line was terrific. The callback at the end may have been a little overkill, but that could also just be a length issue. Overall, very funny and quite imaginative.

You definitely should. Your piece was very well written, stylistically- lots of great details and on a sentence to sentence level everything flowed nicely. We're considering giving your fanfics another go... No promises. The thing We think it suffers from most is, as Bouvre pointed out, a bit of mixed messaging. On the one hand, the theme of the first part of your story seems to be "This is the way the world actually is, and it's ugly and it's brutal." But the later part feels more like "This is the fantasy of the rich and powerful, and while not always pretty, in the end totally worth" which detracts from the grit established in the beginning, and erodes a bit of the sympathy one has for the downtrodden. We're sure that's not what you were going for, but it's what the story in and of itself suggests. The ending- which We gather you intended to illustrate the grave unfairness and to illicit resentment- may be too hyperbolic. By having what is widely regarded as a symbol of moral authority not only permit, but in fact reward the antagonist's deeds, it calls into question the wrongness of his behavior. We think this scene would have worked better if the submission came begrudgingly or was even coerced, as opposed to willingly and gleeful. (Full disclosure, the scene wasn't particularly jarring for Us having read the judges' comments prior to the story, but We're not sure whether that helps or hinders as the general consensus is that this moment is a bit of an issue.) But anyways, there's a lot about it that's respectable, and We're looking forward to your further contributions in these events.