Codename: Jackass

6th grade social studies teacher. There was nothing outright sinister about her, but she had a very strange, elongated face. Everything about her was long. She was skinny and tall, but her limbs seemed to stretch further than they should have. She wore glasses that did not flatter her long head. She had an awkward way of speaking, too. It was halting, lilting version of English, where she would rise up on certain syllables toward the start of the sentence and end on a lower register at the end. "O-kay, stu-dents, today we're going to learn a-bout the religion of Islam. Italics are high note, bold are low note. I was convinced she was from Jupiter or something like Will Smith's teacher in Men in Black, like she had settled on a mostly human form, but was still having trouble nailing down the subtleties of human language and behavior after her time on Earth. She did sponsor an elective field trip with our parents on the weekend to our cemetery here in town (supposedly one with the biggest, most historic cemeteries in the region) and we did charcoal rubbings of the cool headstones. Also my 11th grade geometry teacher. He was just all about business and didn't tolerate bullshit, but wasn't mean or anything. He seemed like a perfectly nice guy aside from the fact that he looked like a short troll. I feel bad saying it but it was the closest I could get to describing him. Small, stooped when he stood, large, hooked nose and bald head, and had a strangely nasal voice. The quintessential male high school math teacher. Sidenote: my super Christian classmate told me that he went to the same church as Mr. Teacher and he had beautiful singing voice. It humanized him. He was cool but just looked weird.

Sure, what's your fursona?

Nobody here is in a band.

MIght as well see a doctor, that's what they're for. I had a mirror break on the top of my foot when I was kid and it was injured something like your finger, I was like five years old and still don't think I've seen so much blood in my life. Sometimes if I step the wrong way it still makes my whole foot tingle.

Just keep gauze and disinfectant on until it heals. Or pay for stitches. Up to you.

Yeah, he can have one called "Martin Van Nostrand".

He died

Who cares

I'll be a reference. "ya she does good job you hire now" boom you got the job.

I use a couple box fans and leave the bedroom door open.

I don't have an air conditioner in my bedroom either. I tolerate it because I'm trying to save money.

I don't have central air either, I have used windowunits my whole life. Or do you just not have air conditioning at all?

tfw you have no B team, just C and F.

Alright, summer's here now. Time to die.

I didn't think of it last night but I wanted to stay legends never die.

Piss is nasty

Not really

Instructions unclear, penis stuck in printer.

Smiled at the cute receptionist, sexual harassment report incoming.