lupin_bebop

Really? I guess I might as well remember this trend, then. Parties tend to have trends.

That is an appetizer for me.

No. Coffee is nasty as Hell.

Vegas is fun....and cheap. Yes. 2 large Cokes. Remember, I got up at the ass crack of dawn after 3 hours of sleep....you need one just to wake the Hell up. The other one is simply because I need it to stay awake after setup. I'm a camel.......

Trust me. I KNOW. It's the bride basically saying. "I don't give a FUCK about your weekend. The first thing I want you to think about this weekend is me."

Good.

.................You're not wrong.

Okay. I was wondering about that. I thought they would fight if that happened.

Those pretty much ARE the choices........ Those are what I've gotten for the couple of bridal parties I've done.

I'm in Texas....so imagine that.....in 100+ degree heat. Imagine you've woken up at 6 AM after getting home at 3 AM from the night before, then driving the 2 HOURS to get to the venue early for setup. You're lucky and were able to stop and get a Sausage McMuffin, hashbrown, and 2 larges cokes from McDonald's on the way in. Also....imagine you had to haul 2-4 50 pounds speakers from your car a quarter mile away, along with an 8-foot picnic table, speaker stands, mic stand, backpack with laptop and fixins, 95 pound bag of cables, and a bunch of lights.....all in a tuxedo....or, at lightest, slacks, shirt, and tie. I'm lucky in that I have a dolly to help lighten this load. Then, you find out there's pretty much no power outlets around you, so you're gonna have to run extensions everywhere. Aso, you're one power strip short, you find out when you get there. Also, someone in the family is a rapper/producer/musician/DJ and wants you to plug in their device so people can hear their SoundCloud/MixCloud/Spotify list. The venue manager is telling you that you can't play too loud, because it's going to be noon, and you don't want to bother anyone. You've been told you will now be needing a mic for announcements, even though the venue told you 2 months ago they would handle that. You're scrambling to try and see if you have cell service just in case things fail. You can playlist from your phone. You're also trying to make sure your separate hotspot is up, running, and charging. Then, the family is asking you about what songs are you gonna play and your equipment. Do you have Cupid Shuffle? Do you have Gangnam Style? Do you have [insert moronically overplayed popular song from the radio that you don't give fucks about]? Do you have any Artist-You-Give-No-Fucks-About? Can [random person who's not me] DJ? Can you scratch? Do you have a REAL job? Then....something weird happens.....the power flickers....and they have no backup generator. The bride is now screaming at you that you weren't supposed to be in yet, because you agreed to come in 15 minutes later than you're here now, and you're ruining the wedding.....because you beat the caterers here. Also, if you don't play the right song at the right time when they come back from the ceremony, you're fired on the spot (even though she signed a contract about this before). Don't play any EDM or good music, because Nana won't like it. Also, don't flirt with the bridesmaids, because this is about the bride, not her drunk, horny, lonely bridesmaids who look better than her (sometimes). You find out that it's NOT an open bar..........

Unfortunately, weddings are the most lucrative thing for me as a DJ. They are pretty much pure profit, because you're paying a "Wedding Tax" on my time. There's a lot more planning and moving around and equipment when it comes to a wedding, that's what you are paying for, the time out of my life. Trust me, your guests hate driving out to remote locations as much as much as your entertainment. We know it's your day, but you don't have to be a dick about it. Especially if you make your wedding on a Friday at 6:30 PM (which is a new trend in the last 2 years).

😐

Yeah....once you've been around....you know who are crap DJs and GOOD DJs, especially for weddings. You paid them less than $700 for your DJ? Watch him be shitty and cock up your wedding. You see videos of those type of DJs all the time. Making my job harder everyday.

........You sure about that? Are you sure it's not....your imagination? Nah....there is some sketch going on. Most of the time, I've had no issues.

I'm an actual GOOD DJ (been doing this for 16+ years), and I'm cheap. For weddings, I'm cheap, too. Still, I have a bare minimum that I need for a wedding. That's why I won't even take the phone call for a minimum of $1000. Wedding tax, also known as DBAA (Don't Be An Asshole) Tax. If you knew the planning I have to put in for a wedding, you'd understand. It's more than just show up, set up, play, collect check. Most of it is fucking with the venue and your wedding planner. Also, making sure I have Internet/hotspot capability, because I will undoubtedly get a request I don't have....because someone is going to want something EXTREMELY stupid as fuck that I don't have because I don't listen to the radio. Hell, I'll do a birthday party for like $100 simply because I don't have to mix.

Pfffft. No...that's fucking CHEAP, man. Most DJs charge $850 an HOUR for a wedding, with a 4 HOUR minimum.

@lesans_muse Not to mention that I have to keep with certain wedding trends....like the trend now is remote barnyard weddings......without wifi or cell service. Why? Them: "Because people always ruin the moment with their phones and social media." Me (thinking): "Bitch, you just posted about your fucking wedding literally 30 seconds ago and every 12 hours for the last 2 weeks. Fuck you. Also, guess what I need as your DJ? A FUCKING INTERNET CONNECTION. Especially when you ask for some stupid, mundane shit I don't fucking have. I have to be able to download it somehow, fucker." Me (aloud, poker faced as fuck): "Yeah. I understand that. It can be a bummer when a phone rings during your moment."

Again. Depends. Depends on the event and where. Most events, I have you pay everything up front, and I show early, setup, do it, and go. Usually it's $100/hour for just music with a 3 hour minimum. I've done other deals before. I'm willing to negotiate within some reason. I'm pretty cheap as a DJ, really. Mostly, you're paying for my time (because gas and bills don't pay themselves). Weddings, it's half up front (DBAA fee), then half at least 35 days before the date (to keep you from making last minute changes like an asshole). I don't even take your phone call for less than $1000 for a wedding. Again, I'll negotiate a little bit, but not much. Weddings are a big endeavor, because I have to talk to your wedding planner, the venue, and (sometimes) the police.

Yeah......this is northern Texas......so I shouldn’t expect much in winter.

Probably not. I already have my Basic White Girl playlist ready to go.

Depends. They are going to have to pay me. Also, there are minimums they must meet.