GunStarHero

I shall introduce the pallet of eggs at work to The People's Elbow in your honor.

When I was finishing up my final semester of college, I was staying at a motel down the road during the weekdays. The motel's staff was all young and female except the owner who was an older guy. Not much to do in this town so I stayed in if I didn't have class. One of the girls that worked at the desk was chatting with me and long story short she swung by my room after her shift and we made the sex. I stayed there for a few months and wound up doing something sexual over that time with all but two staff members, one being the owner. That was like the sluttiest I've ever been.

I worked in a Wal-Mart warehouse for a couple years. Don't shop there anymore, unless you count prescriptions. I can get so many more groceries for less if I shop at an actual grocery store. That being said, I used to live in a town where the two grocery stores were a Wal-Mart and a Winn Dixie so I reluctantly shopped Wal-Mart cause Winn Dixie is overpriced.

I'm not sure you can beat the goose honk episode.

I mean tbh I threw my ass around in college and slept with some people then but my sex life plays out like a slapstick comedy show. I'm at the point where I'm not embarrassed about it cause I'm more interested in what the next exciting episode will bring.

Thank you its real.

Halo is a Myth.

Ok so I'm not a virgin but I am really inexperienced. Every time I'm just like "boy howdy let's get in there and solve this mystery."

I feel this. Can't find a puppy for under $2,000 out here. I aint about to drop that kinda money on just the dog itself.

Hey I'm not in my 30s just yet! I got this!

Go back to failing at parkour.

Nope.

Nah I'm good now.

Damn. Cut me deep there. Knew I wasn't pretty but damn.

He does not seem willing.

This was right after I moved to Vegas and still took the bus. One night I was waiting on the bus at a large intersection between two wide roads. Like 8 lanes wide in all four directions. I was listening to music and beyond the guy sitting a seat down from me, there was no one else around and it was fairly late into the night. Suddenly, I start hearing a bunch of the cars at the intersection honking their horns. I took my headphones off and looked over to see what was up. Here comes this guy, hands raised in the air like he just won the WWE Heavyweight belt. And he's walking DIAGONALLY through the intersection. Slowly. Like the horns are his adoring fans. Then I notice, oh fuck, he's making a beeline for the bus stop. Sure enough here he comes. He struts up and barks at the guy beside me to move. Dude just gets up and stands a short ways away. Then this guy turns to me and holds out his blunt to me and says, "YO TURN!" I told him I didn't smoke. He was undeterred and insisted. "SMOKE UP! I'M THE KING! IT'S MY DECREE!" I declined. Dude threw his head back and let out one of those belly laughs. "AH HAH HAH HA! MORE FOR ME! MORE FOR DA KING!" Then he got up and wandered off into the desert.

Not exactly, but I can regale you with the tale nonetheless.

I met the King of Vegas once.

Yes! Now I can finally win all the limbo tournaments without having to use my secret technique!

You just reminded me about boiled peanuts. Haven't had any since I left the South East.

Either rice crackers or some plain potato chips and French onion dip. Or maybe Gardettos if I have some.

Honestly, randomly sending girls pictures of your pets (or cute animals in general) will always work out better than a penor pic.

I like that it's shaped like a dick that's cumming.

The random ones are just sad. Usually not even remotely impressive, either. Just a boring, sad peen. Why you so sad, peen? Papa beat you too much? All your pictures look like they should be in an SPCA commercial with some Sarah Mclachlan music playing in the back? Poor wittle peen peen.