Houdini Splicer

The Kool-Aid Man would burst through the wall to save me, but, knowing my luck, a shard of plexiglass would impale me through the throat.

I love that game.

Wasn't that the time they caught you molesting mannequins in the girls' section? Creepy little bastard.

I wholeheartedly approve of this.

Those are Mole People, dumbass. *Zeni screams helplessly as the Mole Women carry him off into the darkness, taking bites out of his flesh as they go* Goodnight, old friend...

I'd like to trip you... Right into an open manhole. Creepy little bastard.

Like I said, nothing to see here. #BetaGundam4Life #ProfessionalMeatBeaterZeni

Nothing to see here, people. Creepy little bastard being his usual creepy self. There are free donuts in the Breakroom. Have a nice day.

Bullshit. He doesn't have an alpha card. He grabbed his mom's Woman Card, and marked through the w-o. What a little bitch. 😄

At my local Walmart they a special shelf set up for Pumpkin Spice Frosted Flakes, Pumpkin Spice Special K, and Pumpkin Spice Frosted Mini-Wheats. I should have taken a pic, but I just shook my head and walked on.

That should be easy enough. 👉👌

*slaps with a dead rat* Shut up, wuss.

The club is the laundry room at your mom's house. Your stuffed tiger is the bouncer. And the babe? That's Rebecca, aka your hand. No thanks. The only reason I would ever show up, is to point and laugh at you, Nelson style.

Your belly belly belly

But he has no game...

Yesterday plus 10 years. Just remember, no play for Mr. Grey.

No, not at all. I know your mom is the only woman you've kissed, who didn't immediately projectile vomit. She would at least wait until you left the room. Leave the teenagers alone, legal or otherwise. You're almost 30. Creeper.

You kissed your mommy. Got it.

I was entertained. *golf claps*

Anger bunnies. Seriously? That's not a thing. And it sure as hell isn't Alpha. Stop it, or you'll never get the ladies.

Hmm... Maybe you should crack your knuckles and flex for her. Distract her so she'll forget about being angry.

Then prepare to be rejected, blocked, and reported. In other words, a regular day for you.

Common sense says to not mention it at all. But, since it's you, I know you will.

You shouldn't worry about it. No woman, young or old, wants you.