[classic swim]

What resort was this? Yes, I’ve googled.

Someone could tell me to ____ myself and I’d probably respect it, but it takes all the power in me not to hurl a series of obscenities at any ballwasher. If I’m talking to a friend or acquaintance and anyone else I talk to like an actual person, and someone interjects into OUR conversation just to go “oh, shit on my face pleeeaaase!”

Nasty ass salt water with the chance of getting stung at any vulnerable area by a jellyfish.

Yes, but maybe no. There’s also the chance he might have perfect reflexes and doesn’t actually fall down the stairs, so he’ll just turn around like “why did you scream at my head?”

An accident’s an accident, but what can they really say if you screamed at his head?

Parking garage stairwell.

That’s the price you pay for being a gigolo.

I’m thinking about the new page I just created.

More.

Cinco taking place on Sunday just to remind me of the single stupidest fucking Puritan law & inconvenience to never actually deter me from my habits.

Your local Catholic priest would be proud to sic his cartoon character out onto the evil spirit and then yoink some pizza out from your fridge. Unless he’s crazy about church donations.

The base channel of MeTV already had Flintstones and the other good stuff but you could never catch it at a reasonable time. That “Toon in With Me” shit airs at the crack of dawn and can’t decide whether it wants to appeal to 6 year olds or cartoon nerd archivists.

Wasted several minutes of my time fighting to get a perfectly fine DVD to play before ultimately giving up. Fucking turned it off and on until I conceded in ejecting and re-inserting which also didn’t work. Never again. The second I get my hands on a better VCR and DVD player, I’m chucking that piece of shit out the window just like that GameFly commercial.

While that was indeed funny, I actually think it’s funnier to throw food (or other undesirable messy and squishy things) at people’s faces and heads as opposed to more blunt objects.

If you could ride in the passenger seat and toss a cheeseburger at the back of Cenk Uygur’s head while he’s on the sidewalk... He would talk about it on TYT like this. Or if you could approach Matt Gaetz and throw a Wendy’s frosty directly at his face and successfully run off.

You used to criticize something because it was bad. Now you just wait for a slump of other comments to create your beliefs for you. Look at me, Ma! I’m impressionable and part of the hivemind!

This and Twilight Zone. Great stuff.

I never listened to the Talking Sopranos podcast all the way through, but I miss how fucking stupid Steve Schrippa was. He’d babble about weird shit like opening egg salad on a train, and then there was the time he spent 7 minutes getting pissed off at a YouTube comment for making fun of his haircut.