[classic swim]

Wasn’t pushed out, kicked out, batted out nor scooted out.

Yeah, Odin. Some humanitarian you are. The sprinkler system works! Mandate some slip-and-slides along the forests!

Bar food!

You caught the Rod White & Blue marathon too?! So damn good. Only watched a few before going out.

Thank you Naraku

He was at the petting zoo in front of the animals with a slice of pizza and Kudasai walked up to him and said “sir, please don’t eat in front of the donkeys.”

Alerts the press that Patti gave birth to a ten pound baby boy.

It’s not even the 4th yet, get the fuck out of here closing liquor stores before it’s even 7PM. Closing an hour before 12AM was already bad enough. These days are for everyone to fucking prepare.

They should outlaw white vans that look too close to what the fucking cops drive from a distance. If you’re a soccer mom or someone named Charles and you want a minivan, get one. I only ask that you make it a color less fucking obnoxious that will give people mild heart attacks for no reason.

Not necessarily fictional, just in terms of Vice City— I’ve been to other beaches and parts of Florida decades ago for vacations, but never Miami. I was gonna go and meet some porn lady down there around ‘21 but it just didn’t happen. I even planned the vacation to be around November or December so it would feel nicer.

Putting the hook ass bitch mug on my wishlist.

ass a gargantuan fuck head.

Random app grabs from around the launch. Least surprising thing of the century that this didn’t even last approximately two years. But, Cartoon Planet. Johnny Bravo. Larry & Steve. Hiring Andy and laying off Andy a week later. Amen.

Just put a June 31st on the calendar for Christ sake. No one’s going to notice. There’s not one person who can recite how many explicit seconds Earth has existed, but we’re so obtuse about calendars where most make-believe months have a make-believe 31st day and others are 28 or 30 so your fucking rent is due faster.