[classic swim]

Replaces train wheels with Oreo cookies.

When Doom Metal Alchemist was born.

Hey ghostrek, I don’t like what you did to scoobdog’s face...

- Recruitment Drive. • 2009 "Recruited a few new goons for Uncle Kenny. I even tattooed one of them. Well, more like scarred him for life. Maybe I should go back and practice. It's not that I think tattooing is going to be a skill that'll come in handy, it's just a lot of fun scarring simpletons." - Huang Lee

Huang: Join my gang, and you'll learn important qualities like discipline and self respect... and how to intimidate and bully people yourself. Rookie: Fantastic! As a Triad, all my troubles will be over!

Tackled Charleston White down the stairs.

She’s a lesbian so she’ll never take a frozen burrito shit on your cock.

He was trying to figure out if his girlfriend was kissing Kudasai’s pp so he sang to her like the guy from The Zombies going “I really wanna knowwwwoaahh!”

267 popes, and potentially 15 “Punxsutawney Phil” groundhogs. And the one groundhog that died in my crawlspace years ago.

Tinnitus might have me hallucinating voices now, unless the bitch next door I hate seriously won’t shut the fuck up every hour on the hour. I only ever hear the shit at home though. Never anywhere else. But benefit of the doubt that my past employers truly have ruined my life.

Serves his girlfriend a dish of pretzels covered by a cloche as he wears a hibachi chef hat with fake mustache going “Bon Appétit!”

Wears a hibachi chef hat and fake mustache when he conducts a prostate or cavity search.

Makes opera noises when he tumbles down the stairs.

Ran a Las Vegas, Nevada contest for the two-part mystery of Who Shot Mr. Hoonie.

Makes this face when the Taco Bell chihuahua goes ap-ap-ap-ap-ap-ap!! and attacks the other chihuahuas.

Got mad at fast food places because there’s never ham on his hamburgers.

Pizza could somehow become sentient and say “fuck Trump” and billions of Billy Bobs everywhere would pretend only the balkans ever ate fucking pizza.

Tao has kept his secret identity as Peter Griffin private to everyone except Doom.