[classic swim]

I know everyone on YouTube bitches about Sweet after you save him from prison, but CJ & Cesar made their own choice to stick around home after they’ve had a great time away from Los Santos because they could always do both. I think what they did with Franklin falls under a larger problem with the fact none of V’s characters really matter for shit. San Andreas is a player earned journey that continuously rewards you and GTA V is just a messy overlap of cliches in place of a cohesive story.

Holds an Olive Garden hostage wearing a Theodore Chipmunk disguise and makes a mother cry by yelling “ON THE FLOOR, NOWWWWWWW”

I misjudged Franklin only because pre-release they were teasing Gang Warfare was back in full force and that never happened. When I rewatch cutscenes, it’s like R* read all the GAF posts calling CJ a dumbass and wrote Franklin to be smarter; not necessarily better.

Called the Olive Garden waiter a cabbage eating prick and told Ray about the diamonds.

Dropped his coffee mug when his relative revealed what happened to the pie in American Pie.

Envies the Mucinex man living inside the stomach with a recliner.

Wants to put huge antlers on his head and make an angry moose noise as he headbutts someone.

Remembers when Danny DeVito was drunk on The View.

Max Payne 2 summed up. • Mona Sax is playable. • Vinnie’s killed twice because series doesn’t have a lot of funny supporting characters. • “It’s ‘03 and there’s a Twin Peaks resurgence!” • Sam Lake wrote a song. • Vladimir Lem’s performance.

American Dad and Brooklyn 99 were lucky given past experiences with Family Guy/Futurama. American Dad even did better on FOX than when those two started out because the improved landscape allowed for that to be. I always took it that American Dad was just unconventional and not safe-bland enough for FOX after awhile. The way the network got pissy at any of their shows shitting on FOX News or being too lib for their fancy makes me surprised they had less of a problem back when it was a Fuk U Bush show.

I appreciate you being protective, this is why you’re the coolest.

Always knows it’s the thought that counts

Misses when the movie trailers in the 2000s always played I WANNA ROCK AND ROLL ALL NIHIGHIHHHT

Wants to play Hungry Hungry Hippos.

Took some Pringles away from Bob Costas.

Closely gazes at the dried up shit on the baboon’s butt at the Central Park Zoo.

Goes on a big rant about how paper straws at Olive Garden don’t work and purposely spills the scratch lasagna all over his lap so Kudasai’s waitress can orgasm

Met Larry The Cable Guy at a public bathroom that wasn’t Olive Garden’s just for Larry to say “them bitches be disrespecting”

I mean what stopped Don Knotts from prejacking his undies at the thought of his own dog shitting on his scrawny naked chest?

I mean what stopped Mr. Giraffe here from taking dat 18 inch purple tongue all around her fucking pussy?