[classic swim]

Mafia 1’s reboot wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t good either in retrospect. Even discounting the Mafia 3 style coding. I liked that there was no ambiguity as to whether Sam killed Paulie himself, but hated that they made Paulie an incel Joe Barbaro. I liked that Tommy Angelo accepted his death gracefully, but hated how a guy gets a shotgun blast to the fucking stomach and gives a wimpy monologue to his kids before the credits.

He’s coming. Watch your back.

He actually spoke to me in private and said you’re gonna get your asscheeks clapped...

I hope it’s just sparkle wine that gives me toothaches and not the champagne. Champagne’s my favorite since malt licky, I just hate having to eat stuff primarily using my tongue when I take great care of my teeth otherwise.

You’re too hard to please!

Early happy hour at the bar, and then my friends invited me to swim. I haven’t gone swimming in years! Their pool is exactly like Tony Soprano’s pool!

Bar food!

That’d be pretty funny if someone on the interstate decided to crash their car into another because it’d be funny to piss them off.

He makes all the sexy ladies go “Seiiiiiiiiiggghhhhhht! Have more sex with us! Please!”

Carries the wooden stick that killed Teddy Roosevelt.

The standard GTA San Andreas copy I got from launch for PlayStation 2, the Greatest Hits version I got some time later for the same console.... and the original Xbox copy of San Andreas. The reason I got the latter was thinking Xbox One backwards compatibility would let me play it as original, but no... forces you to play 2014 remaster with the 2004 disc in.

I’ve mentioned it on my blog and elsewhere that I like how Brak Show for instance tried its own formula before going for the ATHF formula when the fans gave it shit... And this show just had the one funny pilot that was ATHF structured before the other set of episodes built to something more unique.

I could replace Lazlow if he’s not coming back!

It was so bad one night outside having drinks I just said fuck it and took my shirt off. Some light rain and it still felt like the fucking sulfur of hades. You can’t even hang up your phone after calling outside because the screen’s covered in head sweat.

With my wife many years ago, I was across her lap for over an hour, completely naked, baby oil rubbed thoroughly into my bum cheeks with the longest and hardest spanking she’d ever given me up to that point. I actually did cum while she spanked me absolutely thoroughly. The most intense spanking I’ve ever received. I was rock hard throughout the spanking along my blemished and contused bum cheeks.

I love my mommy

You like what you see. I know you do.