The_annoying_one

Homemade Hamburger Helper

His alarm sound is The Chipmunk Song.

I panic-bought something from Amazon last night at 3 AM because I lost the one I had. I finally found the missing item this afternoon and the bastards at Amazon won’t let me cancel my order. There goes almost $20 I really didn’t need to spend…

Wants a hippopotamus for Christmas.

Why do I keep trying to use electric razors when I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have never worked for me? I mean, it was just pure laziness today, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that I even bought the thing.

Happy birthday, JeNewBee.

Yakuza: Like A Dragon

Money is tied to happiness, at least to a degree.

Drove to Wyoming and told the first woman he saw that his elbows were magical.

A couple of tuna sandwiches.

Thanksgiving is next week, I have no plans (that I know of), and I couldn’t possibly give less of a fuck.

Came up with an idea for a gourmet cooking show where everything has to be cooked in the microwave.

Tried out for “Survivor”, but was kicked off the show for calling Jeff Probst a punk ass bitch.

Is running for mayor of Greenville, South Carolina.

Is banned from the local zoo for slinging mashed potatoes at the gorillas.

Told the waiter at Olive Garden to step outside because the waiter cut him off from the endless breadsticks.

Chicken and rice with gravy.