The_annoying_one

If a business is just adamant that they’re not gonna answer their phones at all, they should at least give people a way to contact them online. Just sayin’.

Used to be a movie critic, but mysteriously vanished from the profession after going through something with Matthew McConaughey known to this day only as “The Incident”.

Threw a surprise birthday party for a friend, but charged the guest of honor admission.

Throws his hands in the air and yells “Oh, the humanity!” whenever ghosty obliterates the English language.

Likes to climb long staircases and leave behind one single hockey puck on each step.

Told Mr. Hoonie that if he ever wanted to see his family again, he had to do jumping jacks for six hours straight.

The last few days leading up to payday are always the longest and most stressful days.

Cheats at Solitaire.

Flattened and fried some boneless chicken thighs and did spaghetti noodles with alfredo. It was okay, other than the fact that I severely over salted everything.

Wish my food would hurry the fuck up so I can put this shit to bed.

What an absolute nightmare this day has been. I had an appointment with a new doctor this morning. I called them a few weeks ago to make sure they accept my insurance, and was told that they absolutely do. I get there this morning and…nope. My only options were to pay probably hundreds of dollars I just don’t have or leave. I just left, came home, and went back to bed. Fuck today hard.

Made his very own zoo in his backyard with animal crackers.

Went to Myrtle Beach and stepped on a little kid’s sandcastle.

Called the mayor of Rendville, Ohio to ask if their refrigerator was running.

Challenged Mr. Hoonie to a game of horseshoes for control over ghostrek.

Absolutely nothing fills my heart with more warmth and joy than randomly being called an “ass fuck” by some angry little twerp on the internet.

Enjoys nothing more than a sauna in Death Valley.

Rolls a pair of dice every day to determine how he treats people. The higher the number, the worse it gets.

Chicken & rice.