The_annoying_one

I’m utterly addicted to bottom-of-the-barrel B-movie slashers. It’s a sickness and I don’t want the cure.

I guess corn dogs again. That’s pretty much my only option until I can get some food in this house.

Goes to bed every night with a pacifier on his nightstand, but never uses it.

Will only eat hamburger buns with the crust side down.

I canceled Disney+ months ago because I never watched it. These motherfuckers are still emailing me at least once a week, just begging me to come back with the allure of reduced prices. I find this more hilarious than irritating.

I just found my neighbor’s little indoor cat roaming around outside in below freezing temperatures. Texted my neighbor to let her know. She says “Okay”. I wait at least 20 minutes and she never comes out to look for it. This is officially not my problem anymore. If you want to let the poor little guy freeze, that’s on you. EDIT: Crisis averted. The cat is home and safe now. Maybe I will actually sleep tonight.

Hoards Taco Bell’s fire sauce just to squirt it in people’s eyes.

Corn dogs

If a business is just adamant that they’re not gonna answer their phones at all, they should at least give people a way to contact them online. Just sayin’.

Used to be a movie critic, but mysteriously vanished from the profession after going through something with Matthew McConaughey known to this day only as “The Incident”.

Threw a surprise birthday party for a friend, but charged the guest of honor admission.

Throws his hands in the air and yells “Oh, the humanity!” whenever ghosty obliterates the English language.

Likes to climb long staircases and leave behind one single hockey puck on each step.

Told Mr. Hoonie that if he ever wanted to see his family again, he had to do jumping jacks for six hours straight.

The last few days leading up to payday are always the longest and most stressful days.

Cheats at Solitaire.

Flattened and fried some boneless chicken thighs and did spaghetti noodles with alfredo. It was okay, other than the fact that I severely over salted everything.

Wish my food would hurry the fuck up so I can put this shit to bed.