The Uneven Bar

[tsar4]

6 minutes ago, Lemming said:

Thank you my one and done is… hey wait a sec this unadulterated. Can you at least find some corn meal and juniper for texture.. ah

*serves up a Vanilla Skies*

[Lemming]

Great now I wanna listen to Folsom prison blues.. *pays 6 dollars in assorted change*

[tsar4]

*shakes of the ennui*

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDktBZzQIiU

 

[Lemming]

I would love a tankard of gin. And a flagon of your red home brew. I am going off somewhere and I need to retain my skull integrity, effective numbing of motor control, strength and endurance. Hahahaha who would have thought booze would be the answer to the ever present question, “what’s happening.” 🤔

[tsar4]

12 hours ago, Lemming said:

I would love a tankard of gin. And a flagon of your red home brew. I am going off somewhere and I need to retain my skull integrity, effective numbing of motor control, strength and endurance. Hahahaha who would have thought booze would be the answer to the ever present question, “what’s happening.” 🤔

*plops a filled pewter tankard etched with "The Uneven Bar" and a filled ceramic flagon on the bar*

NP:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lo4SLAJz-U

 

[tsar4]

*uncaps a Blackened Voodoo*

"Happy Birthday to you, Carl!" 

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5C-_xJVgSa0

 

[Lemming]

6 hours ago, tsar4 said:

*plops a filled pewter tankard etched with "The Uneven Bar" and a filled ceramic flagon on the bar*

NP:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Lo4SLAJz-U

 

‘A pack of sour punch kids later’

*Looks down at the pub*

Put a cocktail straw in that, breh. I didn’t belly up to ya for favor. But I will be working on the wine for a hot miners minute.

fck it before it hits the gate carry on 

 

Edited April 9, 2023 by Lemming

[André Toulon]

.....gimme an odouls... apparently I didn't spell it right, but you know what I mean...I just wanna taste beer again 

[tsar4]

8 minutes ago, Lemming said:

‘A pack of sour patch straws later’

*Looks down at the pub*

Put a cocktail straw in that, breh. I didn’t belly up to ya for favor. But I will be working on the wine for a hot miners minute.

 

*looks down the bar*

"I need an interpreter...anyone here speak gibberish?"

[tsar4]

6 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

.....gimme an odouls... apparently I didn't spell it right, but you know what I mean...I just wanna taste beer again 

*uncaps an O'Doul's & sets it in front of Andre*

 

[Lemming]

On 4/9/2023 at 4:56 PM, tsar4 said:

*looks down the bar*

"I need an interpreter...anyone here speak gibberish?"

Read but don’t speak

[tsar4]

*looks at calendar & shrugs*

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NExSgEuZ0dw

 

[Lemming]

9 minutes ago, tsar4 said:

*looks at calendar & shrugs*

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NExSgEuZ0dw

 

Bartender!!!

*pays you a half dollar to hear Blitzentrapper* 

A round of New Castle for the boys.

[tsar4]

1 minute ago, Lemming said:

Bartender!!!

*pays you a half dollar to hear Blitzentrapper* 

A round of New Castle for the boys.

"The name's tsar".

*loads up the bar, ignoring the Kennedy"

NP (for reasons):  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLTZavs4WAo

 

[tsar4]

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tnj1WjXXmRI

 

[Lemming]

19 minutes ago, tsar4 said:

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tnj1WjXXmRI

 

Thank you

now if my cohorts will give way to something altogether amazing
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KY8Z5kry8uQ
don’t blow your trousers out *buys a round of hard kombuchas*

[Lemming]

Oh wait, tsar will you recommend something sedate and cumbersome

*leaves money clip on the bar*

[tsar4]

17 minutes ago, Lemming said:

Oh wait, tsar will you recommend something sedate and cumbersome

*leaves money clip on the bar*

Hmmmm...

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnYDqv8-lJE

Or were you referring to a drink?  *starts collecting ingredients for a 'Screaming Viking'*

[Lemming]

*litters the bar with figs*

 

oh s~ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=O9Jp3w8Z10s

 

[scoobdog]

Who let the wack job in the bar?

 Around of Malört on me, please.

[tsar4]

26 minutes ago, scoobdog said:

Around of Malört on me, please.

*tempted to fill the request literally, but sets up the shots*

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=alfFUtquI4I

 

[Gemini]

*lifts hand to get bartender's attention*

Excuse me, sir. May I have some Jameson's, please?

[tsar4]

4 hours ago, Gemini said:

*lifts hand to get bartender's attention*

Excuse me, sir. May I have some Jameson's, please?

*suddenly comes to, grabs the Jameson, slides half a rocks glass full to Gemini*

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHa_0cdM8Mo

 

 

[Lemming]

Hello Ian, I am Grandpositor. Be a good little boy and get granddaddy his pipe and slippers…

[tsar4]

*how do the squirrels keep getting in here?*

"Hey look, mister. We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters around to give the joint "atmosphere". Is that clear, or do I have to slip you my left for a convincer?"

[Lemming]

1 minute ago, tsar4 said:

*how do the squirrels keep getting in here?*

"Hey look, mister. We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters around to give the joint "atmosphere". Is that clear, or do I have to slip you my left for a convincer?"

Aye, the embroideries on your glovelets speak of your obvious affluence. It would be a sin for a (cleric) to strike a man in such a position, and I don’t want to get gutted over as trivial a thing as five coppers.

[Lemming]

I’ll have a https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2BEvh6HSQc0

 

[tsar4]

20 minutes ago, Lemming said:

I’ll have a https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2BEvh6HSQc0

 

*slides a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster instead to Lemming*

[atomicinumatt]

I shall take a Natty Light good sir! 

[Heshi]

*Claire Heshi struts in wearing a raspberry colored dress with platinum 5 inch heels*

*She trips breaking one of her heels*

*"Fuck" she whines*

*Accepting her fate she sighs and asks for a white Russian*

[tsar4]

8 hours ago, atomicinumatt said:

I shall take a Natty Light good sir! 

*serves up the beer*

Don't know how you can support AB.  Especially when they try to sue an older company in the now Czech Republic (then Bohemia) over their use of the name "Budweis", which has been around since the 13th century.

[tsar4]

6 hours ago, Heshi said:

*Claire Heshi struts in wearing a raspberry colored dress with platinum 5 inch heels*

*She trips breaking one of her heels*

*"Fuck" she whines*

*Accepting her fate she sighs and asks for a white Russian*

*serves up a White Ukrainian & gestures to the Ukrainian Sparrow emblem on the mirror behind him*

Don't use that word here, please.

[Heshi]

1 hour ago, tsar4 said:

*serves up a White Ukrainian & gestures to the Ukrainian Sparrow emblem on the mirror behind him*

Don't use that word here, please.

*"Da" she mutters and switches to requesting a Tom Collins instead*

[tsar4]

57 minutes ago, Heshi said:

*"Da" she mutters and switches to requesting a Tom Collins instead*

*sets the previous drink below the bar for himself & delivers the TC*

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef9QnZVpVd8

 

[Lemming]

21 hours ago, tsar4 said:

*slides a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster instead to Lemming*

Thank you oh my tattered nerves.

[atomicinumatt]

8 hours ago, tsar4 said:

*serves up the beer*

Don't know how you can support AB.  Especially when they try to sue an older company in the now Czech Republic (then Bohemia) over their use of the name "Budweis", which has been around since the 13th century.

I never even knew. But I also do not follow things like that. 'Supporting' or 'boycotting' things just is not me. And I never cared about political or legal things that much either. 

It tastes good and is the piss water I have grown up with so I will continue to drink it. I do not really care about the company. 

I sorry! 

Edited April 16, 2023 by atomicinumatt

[Heshi]

6 hours ago, tsar4 said:

*sets the previous drink below the bar for himself & delivers the TC*

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef9QnZVpVd8

 

*Claire downs the delightful gin based beverage and laments the death of her footwear*

Meow 

[mthor]

I need an orgasm.

And God help you if you make it with milk.

[tsar4]

19 minutes ago, mthor said:

I need an orgasm.

And God help you if you make it with milk.

*Slides a Screaming Orgasm to mthor*

Milk?  Perish the thought!

[Lemming]

eat this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ3zmu0l7zE :)))

 

[André Toulon]

Ok, the Spring Break kids are on my fucking nerves. Just some quarters pls and I'm just gonna assume there's a brick oven and the means to make a deep dish pizza.

 

 

 

If not, can I get some wings and fried string cheese

[tsar4]

17 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

Ok, the Spring Break kids are on my fucking nerves. Just some quarters pls and I'm just gonna assume there's a brick oven and the means to make a deep dish pizza.

 

 

 

If not, can I get some wings and fried string cheese

*serves up wings & fried string cheese*

Sorry, no deep dish here, just Chicago Tavern style.

[atomicinumatt]

21 hours ago, Heshi said:

*Claire downs the delightful gin based beverage and laments the death of her footwear*

Meow 

Barefoot is the way to go anyways! 

[tsar4]

4 hours ago, atomicinumatt said:

Barefoot is the way to go anyways! 

NP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Opxft_u0GNw

 

[tsar4]

Where's my lushes at?

NP:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIonzejSBs0

 

[scoobdog]

Could I get a boysenberry mojito, please?

[André Toulon]

16 hours ago, tsar4 said:

Where's my lushes at?

NP:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIonzejSBs0

 

I haven't seen the normal Patons post much....could be the winding down of the school year..idk

[scoobdog]

Forget the Mojito, just get me a half-yard.

[Gemini]

*walks back into the establishment and takes a seat at the bar*

Greetings, bartender! I hope you're doing well, sir. May I get an Irish Car Bomb, please,  my good man? I'd be much obliged.

[tsar4]

21 hours ago, scoobdog said:

Could I get a boysenberry mojito, please?

Nothing better I like than 'muddling'.  *hands over the mojito*