jackiemarie90 Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 I had suspicions for awhile. But was confused when he started hanging out more, etc. But was on rolling again with a house party and his friends there. And he was making out with another girl friend, and I was just by myself chilling, smoking and listening to music. I actually don't feel bad, I came to realization that he didn't like while on molly that night, and I just felt really stupid for always asking him to hang out and bothering him. I'm such a cringyeg weeb guiz, I miss so many queues in the room. >__> Honestly, the thing that makes me upset, is one, how stupid I can be, and two people who insist they have to be good friends with everybody. I feel like once I told people the truth about my past, the truth about being a geek who bullied in school, had boys spit in my hair, etc. I feel like some guys need to prove like they are NOT like that, or maybe there was some girl they were mean to in the past, and they feel they can make up that scenario by being nice to someone like me years later. Like this palpable over kindness that never reaches the person's smile. To be honest, this upsets me the most. It's a fake kindness, and I hate so many things that are fake. It's a fake hope, the person will eventually find out you don't REALLY like hanging out with them, and that person will just feel like shit. Idk, I'm not mad at anyone except myself for not seeing it clearly sooner. The fast pace of casual college relationships can be quite over whelming for a dweeb like me. lol But I do feel good today, and need to figure out how to focus on myself. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mortir Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 So find someone who does like you roll and make out with them instead should not be too hard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 2, 2021 Author Share Posted January 2, 2021 14 minutes ago, Mortir said: So find someone who does like you roll and make out with them instead should not be too hard. When I came here, I didn't originally plan on dating, I should kind of go back to do that. XD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 How many times were you alone with him without doing anything tho? Like some ppl if you come over once and watch shit and you dont do anything thats enough to assume you dont like them I think your assuming too much and putting the penis on a pedestal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackNoir Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 (edited) You are grossly overthinking this. I told you to shoot your shot...I bet ol' girl that had her face in his mouth shot her shot. Your unworthiness is in your hear and so are these accusations you're fabricating based solely on him making out with someone else. He's a dude, and the last thing we want is to be rapey...And since that line is blurry in some people's heads, you need to make clear your intent instead of just hoping his dick accidentally falls into your juice mound. Edited January 2, 2021 by BlackNoir 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyDayJizz#35 Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 You can't really say you know that, most guys fuck multiple women while single. It's like a goal for a lot of them. Maybe that was the PBS network think, he has public dick for erryone. And you just keep being a nerd and not grabbing it... Don't worry so much though, it's silly. Relationships with most people have far less value than we apply to them. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 2, 2021 Author Share Posted January 2, 2021 2 hours ago, Poof said: How many times were you alone with him without doing anything tho? Like some ppl if you come over once and watch shit and you dont do anything thats enough to assume you dont like them I think your assuming too much and putting the penis on a pedestal That's what people say, but it's really an overprotection of myself. I don't want to risk getting hurt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 2, 2021 Author Share Posted January 2, 2021 1 hour ago, BlackNoir said: You are grossly overthinking this. I told you to shoot your shot...I bet ol' girl that had her face in his mouth shot her shot. Your unworthiness is in your hear and so are these accusations you're fabricating based solely on him making out with someone else. He's a dude, and the last thing we want is to be rapey...And since that line is blurry in some people's heads, you need to make clear your intent instead of just hoping his dick accidentally falls into your juice mound. I think they have been making out a lot, maybe more. He had planned to make out with her I think. I've seen them cuddle and hold each other in embrace all the time. It's like a plutonic thing, but compared to these girls, I really don't compete. I have depression that kills my sex drive immensely. I wouldn't say I'm against sex, rarely I do have cravings. But I'm much more of a demi sexual person. I'm more attracted to people's emotions and how they treat me. I sense that he feels that way too. But I also don't think I can satisfy most men sexually. I would look for a relationship to make me feel safe before opening up to people like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 2, 2021 Author Share Posted January 2, 2021 1 hour ago, RainyDayJizz#35 said: You can't really say you know that, most guys fuck multiple women while single. It's like a goal for a lot of them. Maybe that was the PBS network think, he has public dick for erryone. And you just keep being a nerd and not grabbing it... Don't worry so much though, it's silly. Relationships with most people have far less value than we apply to them. I'm not looking for the fast and casual. That's why it probably isn't a good fit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyDayJizz#35 Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 3 minutes ago, jackiemarie90 said: I'm not looking for the fast and casual. That's why it probably isn't a good fit. Eh, maybe you need a little fast and casual, you never know. But going with your comfort level is good, it's not an easy find though. When I moved to this spot I think I had ass getting thrown at me for a good two months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 2, 2021 Author Share Posted January 2, 2021 (edited) 3 minutes ago, RainyDayJizz#35 said: Eh, maybe you need a little fast and casual, you never know. But going with your comfort level is good, it's not an easy find though. When I moved to this spot I think I had ass getting thrown at me for a good two months. There was a girl crying in my room last night how she had a crush on a guy when she first moved in, they slept together and the next day in bed he had told her he was still in love with his ex. I don't think I want to risk that feeling. And those stories are all too common. Edited January 2, 2021 by jackiemarie90 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyDayJizz#35 Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 1 minute ago, jackiemarie90 said: There was a girl crying in my room last night how she had a crush on a guy when she first moved in, they slept together and the next day in bed he had told her he was still in love with his ex. I don't think I want to risk that feeling. And those stories are all too common. I suppose that could depend on how you go in viewing the sex. I'm just talking out of my ass, but that could be a way that guy weeds out girls that think having sex implies ownership. Or he's just another guy that loved his ex but his dick is somewhere else and he hasn't figured it out. People are people, she feels shitty, he loves his ex, you want a decent relationship, it's all fine. Being weird isn't easy at any point in life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 1 hour ago, jackiemarie90 said: That's what people say, but it's really an overprotection of myself. I don't want to risk getting hurt. but didn't you just get hurt tho? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackNoir Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 3 hours ago, jackiemarie90 said: I think they have been making out a lot, maybe more. He had planned to make out with her I think. I've seen them cuddle and hold each other in embrace all the time. It's like a plutonic thing, but compared to these girls, I really don't compete. I have depression that kills my sex drive immensely. I wouldn't say I'm against sex, rarely I do have cravings. But I'm much more of a demi sexual person. I'm more attracted to people's emotions and how they treat me. I sense that he feels that way too. But I also don't think I can satisfy most men sexually. I would look for a relationship to make me feel safe before opening up to people like that. Ok, well maybe you've said this several times but I'm just here to push the "GTD" narrative, But I see what you're doing here and is toxic af....Every time you talk about something, you say "I like and feel ______ ______ _______." and then you go on to say "But I'm a weeb with no sex drive and depression" Which is you just completely making sure you never reach any level of self worth. I think we need a bit of a support group, because I feel like other here are just like you, but aren't vocal about it becuase people are most secure when their weakness is hidden...And for good reason. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sawdamizer Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 1 minute ago, BlackNoir said: Ok, well maybe you've said this several times but I'm just here to push the "GTD" narrative, But I see what you're doing here and is toxic af....Every time you talk about something, you say "I like and feel ______ ______ _______." and then you go on to say "But I'm a weeb with no sex drive and depression" Which is you just completely making sure you never reach any level of self worth. I think we need a bit of a support group, because I feel like other here are just like you, but aren't vocal about it becuase people are most secure when their weakness is hidden...And for good reason. Speaking of which, good Naraku has been missing for a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackNoir Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 1 minute ago, Sawdamizer said: Speaking of which, good Naraku has been missing for a bit. Not even on my radar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bnmjy Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 I'll just be brutally honest. There's a pandemic going on, and you said you dropped several classes. Socializing like this can take a back seat, and I don't just mean for the pandemic. Prioritize. You will feel better in the long run. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 6 hours ago, jackiemarie90 said: I also don't think I can satisfy most men sexually. I would look for a relationship to make me feel safe before opening up to people like that. Goddammit Jacks! Stop with these automatic negative thoughts and doubts! You can be a sex goddess if you want to be! Feeling safe is important but Im also kind of inclined to think you may be reading more into this than whats actually there. From what you told us, it seems like you were kind of avoidant in taking his bait when he tried to sneak in that he liked you while the other girl is wide open for tongue and prolly dick (if Im being honest and unladylike) and he saw an available orifice and was like easy peasy titty squeashy. He may have/have had a general interest in you romantically or platonically. Saying he was just being kind to you because he's making up for something/or just being dishonest seems like you just projecting your negative core beliefs about yourself onto another person. You gotta be comfortable accepting that you are a wonderful, beautiful person that is worthy of love and self acceptance. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 Sometimes you gotta just ask ... so you trying to drop off that dick or nah I mean ... you can jazz it up/soften it up (the question, not the dick) as much as you like Like are you interested in looking for a serious relationship/exclusivity ... because Im not a community dick kinda girl 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 Looks like the council has spoken. You've been sabotaging yourself for quite some time, not in the least part by gravitating toward guys who likely mirror traits from your abusive family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 I have to echo some of the sentiments in this thread. I know from my own experience that if I was alone with a girl and she expressed no physical interest in me I'm going to assume she isn't attracted to me and consider her just a friend. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 Also as far as not being able to satisfy a man you are overthinking that one lol. You're an attractive girl and it's really easy lmao we don't need much 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vamped Posted January 2, 2021 Share Posted January 2, 2021 2 hours ago, That_One_Guy said: Also as far as not being able to satisfy a man you are overthinking that one lol. You're an attractive girl and it's really easy lmao we don't need much Right?! Jacks is selling herself waaaay too short and over estimating these dudes XD 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
That_One_Guy Posted January 3, 2021 Share Posted January 3, 2021 3 hours ago, Vamped said: Right?! Jacks is selling herself waaaay too short and over estimating these dudes XD She is man. Honestly I think it comes from people mistreating her. She probably thinks she isn't worth anyone's time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 3, 2021 Author Share Posted January 3, 2021 (edited) So didn't really see or talk to them yesterday. As I am friends with the girl he was making out with at the party. All three of have hanged out to watch movies or shows a couple of times and smoke pot. But I did see them today. And they looked nervous as hell. You know why? Cause they already know I liked him. In fact it is so god dam pathetic that everyone in the house knows I liked him. I have another weeb friend who seems too quiet to hang out with me, but when we do talk, and I mention red pants guy's name, he gets a sad look on his face. Cause he knows that red pants guys is a chill dude who enjoys life and fucks. While my dweeb depressed ass barely has an energy to be some male ideal sexpot. There is another friend who I also mentioned red pants guy too, and he also have me a sad as fuck face knowing I'm a dumb ass for having a crush. But that's all it was guys, it's not like I was in love with him, I didn't really know him. They were even giving it each warily glances and trying to steal whispers while we were all cooking together in the kitchen. I'm pretty quick to pick small actions in front of me because of my adhd. But I was smiling and humming the whole time. I was making a BLT and she asked to join and if I could make extra bacon for her and then he asked as well. It was awkward as hell for them, it was so fucking obvious from how they were acting. It's whatever. Like guys, it may not seem like it, but I am a pretty good judge of character from the start. I'm just very empathetic of people and choose to look at them through a human perspective. I know how I am perceived in this world so many different people have shouted it at me at my face. I know I act obnoxious and loud, and even though I can post a good photo with the right angles, it doesn't mean I'm really am people actually desire. I'm really not upset, or honestly not surprised, I was smiling on molly when I saw them making out. And only felt like shit cause I realized I was the person in the way. Edited January 3, 2021 by jackiemarie90 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 3, 2021 Author Share Posted January 3, 2021 23 hours ago, Poof said: but didn't you just get hurt tho? It's a part of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poof Posted January 3, 2021 Share Posted January 3, 2021 25 minutes ago, jackiemarie90 said: It's a part of life. i actually did the exact same thing as u in college(the one semester that I spent in college). There were guys I hung out w/who def wanted to fuck me but I psyched myself out thinking they didn't want me bc I'm trans. Believe it or not I wasn't always super confident sexually. Looking back I know I fucked up and could've hooked up. I should've tried and made a move. Lots of guys just won't make a move on u. They're so afraid of being seen as a creep/rapey. What you should do all depends on what you want. But if you want to pursue relationships, keep in mind that good sex between two ppl changes their feelings for each other and brings them closer. Don't be afraid to try. Find out if he wants more sex than you're willing to give before you give up. Maybe you can please him. Or maybe you end up liking sex w/him so much you don't mind doing it for him even if you aren't super horny all the time. If it's what you want, just try for it. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlackNoir Posted January 3, 2021 Share Posted January 3, 2021 1 hour ago, jackiemarie90 said: So didn't really see or talk to them yesterday. As I am friends with the girl he was making out with at the party. All three of have hanged out to watch movies or shows a couple of times and smoke pot. But I did see them today. And they looked nervous as hell. You know why? Cause they already know I liked him. In fact it is so god dam pathetic that everyone in the house knows I liked him. I have another weeb friend who seems too quiet to hang out with me, but when we do talk, and I mention red pants guy's name, he gets a sad look on his face. Cause he knows that red pants guys is a chill dude who enjoys life and fucks. While my dweeb depressed ass barely has an energy to be some male ideal sexpot. There is another friend who I also mentioned red pants guy too, and he also have me a sad as fuck face knowing I'm a dumb ass for having a crush. But that's all it was guys, it's not like I was in love with him, I didn't really know him. They were even giving it each warily glances and trying to steal whispers while we were all cooking together in the kitchen. I'm pretty quick to pick small actions in front of me because of my adhd. But I was smiling and humming the whole time. I was making a BLT and she asked to join and if I could make extra bacon for her and then he asked as well. It was awkward as hell for them, it was so fucking obvious from how they were acting. It's whatever. Like guys, it may not seem like it, but I am a pretty good judge of character from the start. I'm just very empathetic of people and choose to look at them through a human perspective. I know how I am perceived in this world so many different people have shouted it at me at my face. I know I act obnoxious and loud, and even though I can post a good photo with the right angles, it doesn't mean I'm really am people actually desire. I'm really not upset, or honestly not surprised, I was smiling on molly when I saw them making out. And only felt like shit cause I realized I was the person in the way. *Crosses legs, revealing argyle socks from Neiman Marcus* Did these people tell you this is how they felt, or are you just assuming due to the buildup you've already made concerning these people's actions. I must ask, simply because by you being reclusive, are you sure your skills of observation aren't suffering from your perceived premise of this situation. I ask, because horny college kids rarely have the self awareness of their actions that you're granting them. For your scenario to work, both of them would have to know you were crushing on dude, both would have to know that them making out was an affront to you for whatever reason, and then they would both have to give a fuck about your feelings. That's one hell of a trifecta...Are you sure it's actually there. You can't assume they have the same information you have and are using the the same way you are. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Distortedreasoning Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 i got nothing new to add except to repeat what a few posters have said here. figure out what you want, a relationship? dick? both. once you figure that out you can go on about executing your plan. and quit selling yourself short. you plenty fine. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scoobdog Posted January 4, 2021 Share Posted January 4, 2021 I don't think anyone doubts you're a good judge of character. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackiemarie90 Posted January 5, 2021 Author Share Posted January 5, 2021 On 1/3/2021 at 2:41 AM, BlackNoir said: *Crosses legs, revealing argyle socks from Neiman Marcus* Did these people tell you this is how they felt, or are you just assuming due to the buildup you've already made concerning these people's actions. I must ask, simply because by you being reclusive, are you sure your skills of observation aren't suffering from your perceived premise of this situation. I ask, because horny college kids rarely have the self awareness of their actions that you're granting them. For your scenario to work, both of them would have to know you were crushing on dude, both would have to know that them making out was an affront to you for whatever reason, and then they would both have to give a fuck about your feelings. That's one hell of a trifecta...Are you sure it's actually there. You can't assume they have the same information you have and are using the the same way you are. I'm certain. I asked everyone a question, since we are all normally morning sleepers, night wakers. I guess they thought I was being accusatory, but really it's just because I'm trying to flip my schedule to go back to waking up in the mornings and I had woke up at noon that day, that's all. But you could easily tell they were nervous. I honestly, I hate that. I hate how my sensitive feelings can make others uncomfortable. I just don't want to be that person who makes things uncomfortable or in the way. I really need to step back, and focus on myself. I don't feel bad, it's not a big deal, just got to be less of an awkward nerd. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
molarbear Posted January 5, 2021 Share Posted January 5, 2021 4 hours ago, jackiemarie90 said: I'm certain. I asked everyone a question, since we are all normally morning sleepers, night wakers. I guess they thought I was being accusatory, but really it's just because I'm trying to flip my schedule to go back to waking up in the mornings and I had woke up at noon that day, that's all. But you could easily tell they were nervous. I honestly, I hate that. I hate how my sensitive feelings can make others uncomfortable. I just don't want to be that person who makes things uncomfortable or in the way. I really need to step back, and focus on myself. I don't feel bad, it's not a big deal, just got to be less of an awkward nerd. lol Ya know what may help you feel better? It's a video a good friend once sent me when I was a little down in the dumps And then this happened 4 years later 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heshi Posted January 7, 2021 Share Posted January 7, 2021 I sorry Meow I commuted to a community college and my only time in a dorm was the military, so I can't be helpfull... Though I swore very loudly and frequently at Modern Warfare 2 during a lot of that Meow feel betterz and stuff ^.^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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