My neighbor is a tattle tale

[That_One_Guy]

A frumpy, 80 year old tattle tale. My dog shit in my backyard and I didn't clean it up so this pussy called the township on me. Forget talking to me like a man he called the fucking township. What kind of pussy shit is that? If he just would have told me about it I would have cleaned it up. Im barely ever home so I don't have time to perfectly manicure every piece of grass like he does. Dudes like 100 years old and still runs off and tattle tells when he has a problem.

[Inu_crazed_90]

People can tell on you for shit in your own backyard?

[That_One_Guy]

Just now, Inu_crazed_90 said:

People can tell on you for shit in your own backyard?

In this neighborhood yeah lol. I'm the youngest person that lives here and my neighbors have never liked me. They stare at me anytime I walk outside and never so much as say hello. I don't mind yardwork. I do it all day when I'm off lol. I just wish he would have asked me to clean the shit I was going to clean anyway.

[Vamped]

Next time poop in her yard and then report her 

[That_One_Guy]

2 minutes ago, Vamped said:

Next time poop in her yard and then report her 

Lol it's a he and I totally should. The motherfucker knows I take care of my yard. I've watched him stare at me through the window when I cut my fucking grass. Like legit the dude just stares at me and looks away as soon as I look at him

[PhilosipherStoned]

you mean snitch man. . Ehh Why bring that tattle tale shit out unless you got some baby jokes. Smh. My bad.. You have to live in some closed gate type community shit or otherwise heavily brownnosed type group real estate area for your neighbors to be able to even make a case about what kind of shit gets pushed out in your back yard though..

Edited May 14, 2020 by PhilosipherStoned

[That_One_Guy]

1 minute ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

you mean snitch man. . Ehh Why bring that tattle tale shit out unless you got some baby jokes. Smh. My bad.. You have to live in som closed gate type community shit or otherwise heavily brownnosed type group real estate area for your neighbors to be able to even make a case about what kind of shit gets pushed out in your back yard though..

Lol trust me I don't live in a fancy neighborhood. It's decent but it's mostly grumpy old fucks with nothing better to do that live around me. They know I work all the time and take care of my yard and STILL complain. One time I had a person spend the night. They called and claimed I was running an illegal hotel or some shit. Of course that got dismissed. But seriously they will make up fucking anything.

[katt_goddess]

1 minute ago, That_One_Guy said:

Lol it's a he and I totally should. The motherfucker knows I take care of my yard. I've watched him stare at me through the window when I cut my fucking grass. Like legit the dude just stares at me and looks away as soon as I look at him

Do you have one of those 'beach body' shirts you can wear while doing yard work? 

I suggest getting one and wearing it. Really give him an eyeful.

[PhilosipherStoned]

mmm... sounds rough.. Maybe it's just the Texas way, but my corner neighbor on the left is a family I respect and have, and that guy or his kids... or someone always brings me a plate of the grub they cooked and grilled.. shit's too much man though I'm sorry I'm not trying to flex that.. We do talk shit to each other when we want to..

but I've also been a coworker for the local walmart dc with him, and we've always got along pretty good even though deep down we know we both like to talk shit. 

Edited May 14, 2020 by PhilosipherStoned

[tsar4]

 

[HardcoreHunter]

Housing plan next to me has people who have never had to deal with people that don't live in a housing plan before. Pretty much they think mine and my great uncle's yards are parks. I assume they think this because they've lived their lives like fucking gypsies and can't comprehend land ownership. There was something they wanted to complain to me about, and sent their HOA over to talk with me. I told them I do what I want, don't live in their housing plan and to kindly fuck off. So since HOA didn't work they ended up calling the cops on me multiple times over dumb shit. One was that my dog was barking at them because they were in my yard. Another was my dog was running around in my yard without a leash, which is fine because I have an invisible fence. Another time I was burning some wood which is allowed. The one time the cop came down though they fucked up and were all chilling in my and my great uncles yards with their kids and dogs. The cop then rather than just told us that housing plan people are petty, and removed the people who were in our yards. One person even got a ticket because their dog was shitting in my 83 year old uncles yard and they didn't have a bag to pick it up. Funny enough it's been months since then and they've quit passive aggressively calling the cops on us. 

My friend lives in a plan and had an odd neighbor. The guy wasn't terrible, just did weird things or had weird complaints. Like would complain about my friend closing cabinets too hard or flushing the toilet at night. Also insisted that everyone on the block mow their lawn at the same exact time so he isn't bothered by people mowing their lawns at different times of the day. He also seemed like he was trying to hit on my friends girlfriend because he left her flowers and cookies from subway which is when things delved into a more creeper territory. I go over to my friends house for the Superbowl. After a while he gets brought up because we had the TV kinda loud. My friend said he's been fine and hasn't complained for a few weeks. I asked jokingly if he was dead, then that became a bit with my friend where him and his gf were joking about how they hadn't seen him taking his trash out or anything. A month later my friend calls me and is like yeah there's cops all around my block, my neighbor killed himself and has been dead for at least two months. 

[Poof]

wow I couldn't deal w/that ever

 

[cyberbully]

I've had a similar situation back in college...But I'll skip this story and get to my actual point.  When I was in this "similar situation" I still had stand up aspirations and it was one of the things that shook me out of it.  That someone would have a similar story that they would use as a bit and me, not knowing about it, would do the same bit and be called a hack.

Yours is dog poop, and mine is weed but the nosey eldely person is the same, so it's not quite an exact tale, but almost everything else falls into place.  Since I never took it up seriously, I'll ask you....Does it ever worry you that something you do could be referenced to another comedian and despite your not knowing about it, caould it come back and take the poop on your career.

[Seight]

7 hours ago, HardcoreHunter said:

Housing plan next to me has people who have never had to deal with people that don't live in a housing plan before. Pretty much they think mine and my great uncle's yards are parks. I assume they think this because they've lived their lives like fucking gypsies and can't comprehend land ownership. There was something they wanted to complain to me about, and sent their HOA over to talk with me. I told them I do what I want, don't live in their housing plan and to kindly fuck off. So since HOA didn't work they ended up calling the cops on me multiple times over dumb shit. One was that my dog was barking at them because they were in my yard. Another was my dog was running around in my yard without a leash, which is fine because I have an invisible fence. Another time I was burning some wood which is allowed. The one time the cop came down though they fucked up and were all chilling in my and my great uncles yards with their kids and dogs. The cop then rather than just told us that housing plan people are petty, and removed the people who were in our yards. One person even got a ticket because their dog was shitting in my 83 year old uncles yard and they didn't have a bag to pick it up. Funny enough it's been months since then and they've quit passive aggressively calling the cops on us. 

My friend lives in a plan and had an odd neighbor. The guy wasn't terrible, just did weird things or had weird complaints. Like would complain about my friend closing cabinets too hard or flushing the toilet at night. Also insisted that everyone on the block mow their lawn at the same exact time so he isn't bothered by people mowing their lawns at different times of the day. He also seemed like he was trying to hit on my friends girlfriend because he left her flowers and cookies from subway which is when things delved into a more creeper territory. I go over to my friends house for the Superbowl. After a while he gets brought up because we had the TV kinda loud. My friend said he's been fine and hasn't complained for a few weeks. I asked jokingly if he was dead, then that became a bit with my friend where him and his gf were joking about how they hadn't seen him taking his trash out or anything. A month later my friend calls me and is like yeah there's cops all around my block, my neighbor killed himself and has been dead for at least two months. 

Oh god yeah, I would never live in an area that has a HOA on purpose.

[bnmjy]

Eh, he old and doesn't have much going on in his life. Don't get too pissed about it.

(He might catch covid and die after all.)

[NNN]

11 hours ago, That_One_Guy said:

In this neighborhood yeah lol. I'm the youngest person that lives here and my neighbors have never liked me. They stare at me anytime I walk outside and never so much as say hello. I don't mind yardwork. I do it all day when I'm off lol. I just wish he would have asked me to clean the shit I was going to clean anyway.

stare at them back until they back down. get the leaf blower out at the latest allowable time too. old people love loud noises past 6pm

[That_One_Guy]

15 hours ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

mmm... sounds rough.. Maybe it's just the Texas way, but my corner neighbor on the left is a family I respect and have, and that guy or his kids... or someone always brings me a plate of the grub they cooked and grilled.. shit's too much man though I'm sorry I'm not trying to flex that.. We do talk shit to each other when we want to..

but I've also been a coworker for the local walmart dc with him, and we've always got along pretty good even though deep down we know we both like to talk shit. 

Dude I envy that

[That_One_Guy]

12 hours ago, HardcoreHunter said:

Housing plan next to me has people who have never had to deal with people that don't live in a housing plan before. Pretty much they think mine and my great uncle's yards are parks. I assume they think this because they've lived their lives like fucking gypsies and can't comprehend land ownership. There was something they wanted to complain to me about, and sent their HOA over to talk with me. I told them I do what I want, don't live in their housing plan and to kindly fuck off. So since HOA didn't work they ended up calling the cops on me multiple times over dumb shit. One was that my dog was barking at them because they were in my yard. Another was my dog was running around in my yard without a leash, which is fine because I have an invisible fence. Another time I was burning some wood which is allowed. The one time the cop came down though they fucked up and were all chilling in my and my great uncles yards with their kids and dogs. The cop then rather than just told us that housing plan people are petty, and removed the people who were in our yards. One person even got a ticket because their dog was shitting in my 83 year old uncles yard and they didn't have a bag to pick it up. Funny enough it's been months since then and they've quit passive aggressively calling the cops on us. 

My friend lives in a plan and had an odd neighbor. The guy wasn't terrible, just did weird things or had weird complaints. Like would complain about my friend closing cabinets too hard or flushing the toilet at night. Also insisted that everyone on the block mow their lawn at the same exact time so he isn't bothered by people mowing their lawns at different times of the day. He also seemed like he was trying to hit on my friends girlfriend because he left her flowers and cookies from subway which is when things delved into a more creeper territory. I go over to my friends house for the Superbowl. After a while he gets brought up because we had the TV kinda loud. My friend said he's been fine and hasn't complained for a few weeks. I asked jokingly if he was dead, then that became a bit with my friend where him and his gf were joking about how they hadn't seen him taking his trash out or anything. A month later my friend calls me and is like yeah there's cops all around my block, my neighbor killed himself and has been dead for at least two months. 

Holy fuck dude that's intense. And as far as those complaints go I couldn't deal with that shit. Lmao he wanted y'all to synchronize your yard work for his convenience. Tbh I've given my neighbor passes because he's old. I'm not going to get aggressive with him and I've been trying to avoid a confrontation because I know he's gonna say something stupid that might piss me off. But at this point it's inevitable. I'm tired of him being a little bitch and going behind my back. I'm confronting him about this and his tattle telling is going to stop.

[That_One_Guy]

11 hours ago, Poof said:

wow I couldn't deal w/that ever

 

Lol you'd probably just whoop his ass

[That_One_Guy]

11 hours ago, cyberbully said:

I've had a similar situation back in college...But I'll skip this story and get to my actual point.  When I was in this "similar situation" I still had stand up aspirations and it was one of the things that shook me out of it.  That someone would have a similar story that they would use as a bit and me, not knowing about it, would do the same bit and be called a hack.

Yours is dog poop, and mine is weed but the nosey eldely person is the same, so it's not quite an exact tale, but almost everything else falls into place.  Since I never took it up seriously, I'll ask you....Does it ever worry you that something you do could be referenced to another comedian and despite your not knowing about it, caould it come back and take the poop on your career.

Honestly bro there's not much originality left. When I write something I always do as much research as possible to make sure it hasn't already been done. That's why I write a lot about my own life but even then someone out there has probably already come up with something similar. There's so many fucking comedians that it's almost impossible to come up with a 100 percent original bit. What I will say is there's a difference between parallel thinking that you can't help and outright stealing.

[That_One_Guy]

4 hours ago, bnmjy said:

Eh, he old and doesn't have much going on in his life. Don't get too pissed about it.

(He might catch covid and die after all.)

I'm not overly pissed. Just irritated he didn't talk to me first.

[HardcoreHunter]

4 hours ago, Seight said:

Oh god yeah, I would never live in an area that has a HOA on purpose.

Yeah my family had founded the town so we've had our plot of land for a long time. The woods that were next to us got cut down to put in a housing plan. So we now just have to deal with people who have no idea how to deal with neighbors who you can't be passive aggressive with via HOA. My friends HOA guy was crazy. When he first moved in a couple of years ago, his first HOA bill had a fine on it. He contacted the HOA and was like wtf is this for. The guy told him it was for not having the siding painted like he was told. My friend was like I've only lived here for 2 weeks, you must have sent that to the people who I bought the home from. The guy was all pissed and was like he didn't care $4k fine. My friend said fuck it I'll go to court then because you never sent me anything. He then called the last people who lived in the house and was like wtf you never told me I had to have this house painted. They said that they just had it re-painted last month, and gave him the number of the guy who painted it. So then my friend was like It's already painted, here's the guy's number you can talk to him. HOA guy was all pissed and said he demanded it to be painted again for he'd get a $4k fine. So this turned into my friend just saying fuck it I'll go to court if you're going to be like that, at which point the HOA president dropped it. I guess everyone in the plan hates that guy and he just goes mad with power. However nobody really wants to do the work for HOA so he doesn't get voted out. 

[HardcoreHunter]

13 minutes ago, That_One_Guy said:

Holy fuck dude that's intense. And as far as those complaints go I couldn't deal with that shit. Lmao he wanted y'all to synchronize your yard work for his convenience. Tbh I've given my neighbor passes because he's old. I'm not going to get aggressive with him and I've been trying to avoid a confrontation because I know he's gonna say something stupid that might piss me off. But at this point it's inevitable. I'm tired of him being a little bitch and going behind my back. I'm confronting him about this and his tattle telling is going to stop.

That was over at my friends plan. Though our neighbors have also complained about mowing our lawn. I'm even said it fucking takes a hot miniute to mow all our land. I have 5 acres, and my Great uncle has 5 acres, and my great uncle who died had 5 acres that we have to take care of since he passed back in the fall. It's not a small fucking plot that barely has enough space for some yard gnomes. It's like plots the size of a walmart. 

[Mix]

We're gonna have to take care of this 

 

You're gonna need two green spray paint cans, an emperor penguin, a 4 lb fire extinguisher, twelve road flares, and double sided tape 

[PhilosipherStoned]

5 hours ago, That_One_Guy said:

Dude I envy that

Yeah my neighbors are decent so I don't complain really, but all the houses in this neighborhood are kind of squashed together.. I'd rather not have neighbors and have more privacy for sure. 

[HardcoreHunter]

Is the a reason why poof is being autistic and down voting me?

[PhilosipherStoned]

21 hours ago, HardcoreHunter said:

Is the a reason why poof is being autistic and down voting me?

You say one thing Poof doesn't like and she generates a twisted drug induced hyperbolic picture of you. I wouldn't think anything of it. 

[HardcoreHunter]

6 minutes ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

You say one thing Poof doesn't like and she generates a twisted drug induced hyperbolic picture of you. I wouldn't think anything of it. 

Just wish I knew what the hell it was that I that made them sperg. 

Edited May 16, 2020 by HardcoreHunter

[Poof]

43 minutes ago, HardcoreHunter said:

Just wish I knew what the hell it was that I that made them sperg. 

wish in one hand shit in the other

Edited May 16, 2020 by Poof

[PhilosipherStoned]

I have poof on ignore these days. I feel like it saves me a lot of time. Especially in other folders.. This one I don't really care too much about someone sperging out in. The seemingly motiveless white knighting in rants/df though... I bet that shit doesn't end to this day. DF is lame these days anyway. 

[HardcoreHunter]

2 hours ago, Poof said:

wish in one hand shit in the other

some kinky shit you're into poof, but I'm not letting you suck my dick

[HardcoreHunter]

2 hours ago, PhilosipherStoned said:

I have poof on ignore these days. I feel like it saves me a lot of time. Especially in other folders.. This one I don't really care too much about someone sperging out in. The seemingly motiveless white knighting in rants/df though... I bet that shit doesn't end to this day. DF is lame these days anyway. 

Yeah it's whatever when I get a downvote, it just gets confusing when I can't make heads or tails as to why. Makes sense though when you take into account them being mentally disabled that they don't know any better, or sexually frustrated to the point that they can't think of any other way to gain my attention.